Page 32 of A Trial of the Heart

Chapter

Thirty-Two

Rashad:

Leaned back in my chair with one arm stretched toward the table and gripping my glass of liquor, I watched Shiloh be greeted by the hostess before she scanned the restaurant.

The second our eyes locked, she smiled toward the hostess and said something to her before heading my way.

The ambiance and the soft tunes that played were calming, making Shiloh’s walk toward me more dramatic.

I was used to seeing her with weave, so seeing her with her natural tresses stunned me a bit.

She was more beautiful. It seemed like her steps were in line with the beat of the music playing, something straight out of a movie.

“You’re early.” Her sultry voice always came off like music to my ears.

Without looking away from her, I lifted my glass, taking a hefty swallow…

“Just wanted to watch you walk in.” I winked.

Shiloh blushed before slowly licking her lips. “Oh.”

There was a brief pause between us. Shiloh avoided my eye contact, and I glared at her, trying to read what she seemed to be hiding. Her eyes always told a story, and right now, she appeared scared and nervous. I stood, stepping around her.

“Want to sit?” I pulled the chair back, allowing her access.

“Thank you.” She offered a smile before resting her clutch on top of the table and sitting down.

Once Shiloh was set and scooted closer to the table, I ambled back to my seat.

“I ordered your favorite,” I noted pointing to the tequila sunrise with an extra shot of tequila.

Shiloh tucked her loose coils behind her ear, while simultaneously offering me a warm smile.

“Thank you, but I’m not drinking.”

My brows dipped in confusion. “Quit?”

“Something like that.”

“Got it.” I nodded my head slightly.

Something was off about Shiloh. I couldn’t pinpoint it, but it didn’t go unnoticed. Shiloh had requested this dinner, so though I spotted something was off, I’d wait for her to bring it up if at all. I watched Shiloh closely as she picked up the menu to order. She seemed anxious and uneasy.

“You okay?”

“I am.” Her voice held a low tremble.

I was prepared to speak on it when the waiter that had taken the drink order came into view.

“Here you two are,” he stated, placing the drinks in the middle of the table. “You two know what you’d like to order, or do you need a minute?” he asked, pulling the tablet from his apron.

“You ready?” I asked, glaring over at Shiloh.

“I am.” Her tone didn’t match her normal one.

“We’re ready.” I never shifted my eyes from Shiloh as I spoke to the waiter like he hadn’t heard Shiloh.

“Can I get the lobster bisque soup?”

My brows dipped in the middle of her forehead. Shiloh didn’t put down food like she was in an eating contest, but she surely ate more food than soup.

“That’s all you want?”

Shiloh looked up from the menu. “Not much of an appetite.”

I nodded slowly.

“For you, sir?” the waiter asked, seeming as though he wanted us to quickly place the orders so he could move on.

“Let me get the ribeye steak medium with the loaded baked potato, steamed veggies, and a side of mac and cheese.” Unlike Shiloh, I had an appetite.

“I’ll put that right in for you two,” he said, taking the menus rushing away.

We sat in silence. Shiloh had asked me for this meet up, yet she was acting like we were on a blind date, and she wasn’t feeling me. I was curious what was up, but I wasn’t about to ask about it.

“How was work today?” I questioned, making small talk.

Shiloh raised her eyes to mine. “It was okay. How about yours?”

We were talking so robotic, nothing like we were used to.

“It was straight. Nothing to complain about.”

“I understand that.”

Once again, we fell silent. Since I didn’t want to just sit doing nothing, I pulled my phone out of my pocket, responding to emails that I’d gotten earlier in the day. Shiloh’s eyes bounced around the restaurant.

A little less than ten minutes had passed when the waiter returned with our plates in his hand.

“Lobster bisque,” he noted, placing the bowl of piping hot soup in front of Shiloh.

“Medium steak,” he said, placing my plate in front of me. “Is there anything else I can get either of you?”

“No, thank you,” Shiloh spoke up.

“We’re good. Thanks,” I spoke.

“You two enjoy. I’ll be back shortly to check on you,” he said, turning on his heels.

I had said I’d wait for her, but her lack of conversation and avoidance of eye contact, I couldn’t do it any longer. Without touching my food, I leaned back into my chair, picking my drink up and casually staring at her.

“What?” Shiloh questioned with a nervous smile and her spoon in her hand.

For a few moments, I stared at her without saying anything, just reading her.

“Why’d you need to see me tonight?” I finally spoke.

Shiloh’s eyes instantly shifted to mine before she dropped her head slightly. Her gesture confused me. When she lifted her head, and our eyes met again, I saw fear.

“Everything cool?” If something was wrong, I wanted to protect her. She meant something to me. I watched her closely as she exhaled deeply.

“Here it goes,” she said just above a whisper. “Before I start, I just want you to know I didn’t want this to happen at all.”

“Okay…”

“I’m not expecting anything from you. I just felt you had the right to know. I can do this on my own, and honestly, I’m not expecting you to have anything to do with this. What’s done is done, and neither of us can change it, but I won’t pretend like it didn’t happen.”

Shiloh rambled, but I got the gist of it. I assumed she was about to tell me she was pregnant. I just needed her to say it before I could process my emotions.

“There are some things I will never knock a woman for, but I genuinely couldn’t see myself acting on it. I just can’t. We made some irresponsible choices, and now I’m left with the consequences, but again, I’m not asking you for anything.”

“Shiloh, what are you saying?” She was saying a bunch but nothing at all.

“Rashad, I’m pregnant, and it’s yours.” It appeared that an instant weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Hearing the confirmation, my heart skipped a beat. My feelings were ambivalent. I couldn’t find the words, and before I could, Shiloh spoke again.

“I’m not expecting you to stay around. In fact, once I leave this restaurant, we can pretend like nothing happened to begin with.”

A perplexed expression took over my features. Was Shiloh saying she didn’t want me to be a father to my kid she was carrying?

“Whatchu mean?” I had to ask for clarity.

“I’m saying our carelessness got us into a sticky situation, but it’s now my responsibility. For you, it can be out of sight out of mind. I’m willing and capable of raising this baby without you.” As she spoke the last part, she pointed to her stomach that showed no signs of pregnancy.

My hearty laughter echoed off the walls of the small space, but just as quickly as it started, it stopped. The wrinkles on my forehead became prominent, and I felt the beads of sweat form on my forehead due to anger.

“Let me make sure I’m understanding you correctly.

” I sat up so nothing I said or asked would go unheard.

“You’re carrying my seed.” I pointed her way.

“You’re going to keep it, and you expect me not to be a present father because we made a mistake?

You want our child to grow up fatherless because you can do it on your own? That’s the implication, right?”

Instead of answering right away, Shiloh tucked her lips before smoothing them over in a motion one would do when applying Chapstick. She shrugged

“The way you say it sounds all bad.” She laughed nervously. “We barely know each other. You’re a criminal about to be on trial and more than likely put away for a long time… It just seems to be the best way to handle this situation. I’m not asking you for help, Rashad.”

My eyes narrowed in on her. It was taking every strength I had in my body to control my composure.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I lifted the glass and finished my drink before running my tongue across my teeth and standing.

Shiloh’s eyes followed my stance. My eyes never left hers as I pressed my hands firmly on the table leaning in her way.

“I don’t give a flying fuck if I was on the streets working, behind bars in a small ass cell, or even six feet deep as a bag of bones.

” I paused briefly. “I will be a fucking father no matter what. So, whatever you think this shit gonna be, it ain’t.

You didn’t make that baby alone, and neither of us gonna pretend like you did.

” I came off louder than I intended, but she needed to hear me loud and clear.

I allowed my words to sink in before I finally stood to my full height, even then my eyes never left hers. Shiloh sat there quietly with tears pooling in her eyes, and her bottom lip quivered.

“I’ll pay the tab on my way out.”

Those were my last words before leaving Shiloh where she sat. Shiloh may have dealt with guys in the past that didn’t want to take responsibility for their actions, but I wasn’t one of them. Like I’d told her, no matter where I was, I was going to be a father, and I meant that.