Page 35 of A Trial of the Heart

Chapter

Thirty-Four

Rashad:

No matter how things seemed and how defeated I may have looked in life, I’d been taught early on how to be ten steps ahead of anyone.

When Lauryn started showing signs of being psychotic during our relationship I started watching and being more careful with her.

My downfall had been I’d let one too many things slip through the cracks.

That’s how things had gotten as far as they had.

“Congratulations, man,” Barret said, dapping me up and pulling me into a brotherly hug once the judge was out of the courtroom.

“’Preciate that, man. You did all the work, so I should be saying congratulations to you.”

“Nah, nah. This was simply set perfectly, but it couldn’t have been done without you.

” He beamed, and I slightly smiled as my eyes shifted behind him to Shiloh.

My smile faded while admiring her. I hadn’t meant to involve her, but truth be told, Shiloh had been in over her head, and when she found out the truth and didn’t bring it to light, she became the enemy as well.

I didn’t want to believe she knew the truth, but she had no reaction to the video, so it told me what I didn’t want to admit.

Barret turned slightly to follow where my eyes had settled before he chuckled. “Handle ya business, brother. We will be outside.”

He patted me on my back before motioning to him and Chauncey, another lawyer from his firm would be outside.

My response to them was a slight nod. My eyes never shifted from Shiloh.

With a hung head, Shiloh headed in my direction.

She was either ignoring me or not paying attention.

She almost passed without a look or word.

“Got a second?” I got her attention. Before the video of Anita and Shiloh was sent to me, I didn’t realize the connection between Lauryn and Shiloh. I’d sat on having Barret use that as evidence, but when Shiloh failed to speak of my innocence, I had to do what I had to do for me.

Like a child that was about to talk to someone she was forbidden to, Shiloh’s eyes surveyed the room.

“What can I help you with, Mr. Carter?” She had her lawyer voice on.

I chuckled. Shiloh had bounced on my dick more times than we could count and carried my seed but wanted to be professional. “Why didn’t you tell me what you knew?”

Once I got the video proof back, Shiloh had been the last person I expected to see connected to the betrayal.

She may not have been directly connected, but her not speaking up made her just as guilty.

Truthfully, once I saw her, I felt all things she and I had experienced had been a lie, and she was playing from the start of it all for the benefit of herself and the office she worked for.

Guilt seemed to instantly take over. “I wanted to… I was going to…”

“But?” I didn’t give her the chance to finish what she was preparing to say, because the way I saw it, there was no good reason on why she moved the way she had.

“I was boxed in a corner. I wanted to do the right thing. I honestly should have the second I found the connection, but I couldn’t. It was you or me.”

Hearing the last part of her sentence caused me to unintentionally glare at her in anger. “So, you were cool with having my reputation ruined and willing to put an innocent black man behind bars to continue working at a place you don’t even like?”

Shiloh hadn’t been afraid to express her love for law but dislike for where she worked each time we spoke.

Shiloh shrugged, her eyes dropping from mine. “It wasn’t personal, Rashad.”

“It wasn’t personal,” I repeated with a chuckle.

“It, in fact, is personal. It became that way when you failed to speak up. I get it shit is tough in the streets and getting a job may have been hard, but you coulda fought harder for this shit. You’re carrying my child, and you were okay with me going down for something you knew I didn’t do.

You speak on integrity a lot, even seemed like an honest woman, but the truth is you fake as fuck. ”

“What?” Shiloh had the audacity to sound offended. Her eyes swiftly raised back to mine.

“You heard me.” I stepped closer to her, forcing her to lift her head and her eyes to raise further to mine.

“I wouldn’t have given a damn if I lost everything.

You couldn’t pay me no amount of money to be a sellout, coon, Uncle Tom ass man simply to keep a job with some racist fuckers that would sell me into slavery if they had the chance.

You had the chance to speak up and make a difference, but you chose to selfishly pick yourself. ”

Shiloh’s bottom lip seemed to quiver. The more I spoke, the faster it moved. She even sucked her lip between her teeth in hopes it would stop.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked, her body language shifted, and her eyes watered.

“Yeah. Me too. Thought you and I had a connection. Whole time, I was a pawn in your poor ass game for you to win points with massa.”

“Rashad, I’m sorry.” She spoke a little louder.

“Sorry won’t change what could have been had I not been ten steps ahead of y’all.”

“What was I supposed to do? You out of all people know how hard it is for us out here, especially in a white, male-dominated career.”

Was she really trying to justify what she’d done?

“Yeah, and like I know how hard it is in the career world for us, you…” I pointed and spoke louder “…of fall people know what they do to us black men. Job or not, you should have spoken the fuck up, but you chose not to. I could’ve lost everything I worked for and been labeled as a criminal for the rest of my life, and you were going to keep quiet?

” The last part caused me to shake my head at the realization of things.

“Rashad, I’m so—”

“Save that shit, Shiloh.” I didn’t have time for another empty apology. “Check it. Whatever the hell we had or not is dead. Only connection you and I have from here on out is that baby.” I pointed to her stomach. “Take care of yourself, Shiloh.”

I brushed past her. I wasn’t sure how Shiloh and I would co-parent, but I’d figure it out as being the father of her child was all I had to give. Casually walking from the court room, I left Shiloh where she stood with tears in her eyes and a blank expression.