Page 14 of A Heart to Find (Sweetheart Island #2)

Jared hadn’t managed to get more than a couple of hours of sleep, which would lead to another day of crabbiness if he wasn’t careful.

Elizabeth and Hailey always jibed him about waking up on the wrong side of the bed if he didn’t get a solid eight hours, and since he had been through the gamut of emotions over the last week—not to mention the night lost looking for the necklace—he was in a serious sleep deficit.

He had been so stupid.

Losing it on her like that probably cost any chance they had at making a go of this thing.

So after he followed her back to the lodge to make sure she returned safely—from a safe distance so she wouldn’t know he followed—he wandered around the island until his blood pressure returned to normal.

His moods had been all over the place.

Angry, frustrated, remorseful.

He searched for the necklace thinking if he could find that maybe she’d warm to him again.

He kicked rocks down the street wishing he had exerted some control over his anger.

He gazed at places they had been over the course of the past week, wishing he could go back to the moments of growing passion and trust.

Yet when he awoke this morning, he was back to being irritated.

The whole thing was his fault.

He should have told her about Hailey from the very first getting-to-know-you moment. He’d had plenty of opportunities. He had been a coward, and now this tension between them would continue to grow.

She had lost her niece and nephew.

He could feel her pain when she talked about that loss.

He knew she lived it and suffered through the pain every day.

But he didn’t understand why that would make her afraid of having a stepchild.

That’s part of why he wanted to skip the sharing circle or whatever the heck they called that part of the event.

He wanted to get her alone to talk.

About her hesitations, about Hailey.

And sure, maybe he also wanted to be alone with her to sneak in some physical affection.

He had been dying to kiss her since she first walked up to him at the welcoming reception.

That urge had only grown stronger by the moment.

Growing their relationship was by far the more important thing to him. He failed to understand how sharing all that ooey gooey gushy emotional stuff with strangers would help their relationship go anywhere.

He avoided contacting her all day, not ready to deal with a situation he had lost control over. He’d let her simmer, he’d allow himself to stew, and maybe he could see a clear path to reconciliation once the fog cleared.

An alert text from the resort reminded him that there was a mandatory island-wide scavenger hunt for couples this afternoon, followed by a cocktail party.

He considered skipping.

But that would violate the contract he had signed, and he had committed to following all the rules. He wasn’t one to break an oath, and Elizabeth had known that when she made him swear to follow every step no matter how ridiculous he thought they were.

Besides, he wouldn’t leave Keira there alone, no matter how irritated he was.

Keira walked into the conference room with an air of confidence she was far from feeling, but was eager to project. He had sent her a four-word text.

See you at four.

No heart eyes emoticon. No exclamation point. Just four words with a plain old period.

Though she wanted to throw her phone into the fireplace, she didn’t.

Though she wanted to tell him she wouldn’t be there, she resisted the urge.

And though she would rather hide away in her big, comfy bed and exchange angsty texts with her best friend back home, she had every intention of showing him what he was missing out on.

Hair done.

Makeup done—she even glittered her eyelids with the special eye shadow Robyn had slipped into her bag.

Best casual outfit with the good jeans that showcased her curves the most effectively.

And, for kicks, she slipped into high-heeled ankle boots for the first time since hurting her ankle.

Had that only been days ago? Seemed like months.

And though she’d garner his attention with the extra effort she paid to her appearance, she would ignore him the same way she ignored behavior she wanted to discourage in her classroom.

She caught his eye as soon as she walked into the room—seven minutes late because she refused to show up exactly when he told her to.

She didn’t want to push it past the seven-minute mark and offend the staff who worked so hard to put the event together, but Jared probably remembered that she never liked to be late for anything, so hopefully he’d wonder why.

Smiling to herself, she prepared to turn away when he walked her way.

Never one to play games, she couldn’t resist the urge this time around.

He started toward her. Her legs shook, but she hoped not noticeably. After gratefully accepting a cocktail from the passing waiter, she sipped the sweet concoction and planned her sweet, sweet revenge.

Before she could exact said revenge, he outplayed her.

He stopped to also accept a cocktail, but then he lingered in conversation with the waitress who served him. Keira couldn’t hear what was being said, but from the tossed back head and the giant open-mouthed laugh on the waitress’s face, Jared must have been acting as quite the comedian.

Keira, never one to want to stomp on someone’s toes, gritted her teeth watching him flirt so wildly. He glanced her way and she flicked her hair over her shoulder.

Why should she care if he flirted with someone else? She already knew he wasn’t her match, so maybe he could find a match on his own. Not that she believed that’s what he actually wanted.

The next fifteen minutes played out the same way. Jared staying within visual distance of her no matter where she moved in the room, but flirting with whatever female stood nearby. Waitresses. Women who were with their own matches. One of the founders who made her rounds. And the best part? A dog who escaped the doggy day care down the hall and ran in to find her person.

Yup. He even flirted with the dog.

Shameless.

Keira downed another cocktail and tried to find Megan so she could more properly ignore him. But then the starting time for the scavenger hunt began, and couples poured out of the various doors on a hunt for the items on the list.

This may have been fun. If she had her match to participate with her.

The number of couples dwindled, but Keira held her ground. He’d have to come to her. She had to hold on to some level of pride.

Why did he have to look so handsome, though? So beguiling? Why did she wish he flirted with her rather than everyone else around him?

Why couldn’t he just beg her to forgive him and they could get on with playing this thing out to the bitter end?

If she couldn’t leave with a real match, she could at least leave with the memory of a bittersweet reunion and a few magical moments.

But she wouldn’t give in.

She had zero—ZERO—control of her heart, however.

As evidenced by the way the darn thing crackled and started melting at the seams when she watched from her safe distance as he seemed to take another couple under his wing.

She inched closer to hear what was going on without being too obvious. With the small number of couples that remained in the room decreasing every minute, being unobtrusive grew to be a challenge. Luckily there were those giant balloon sculptures around the room, so she slipped behind one and listened intently.

Hating herself and her pathetic nature more and more every second.

His smooth, confident voice reassured the couple that everyone was feeling awkward, and that even though they had been matched, the getting-to-know-you part of the adventure was still an awkward one.

He joked about how he was there alone, even though his match was in the same room. That maybe one of the items on the list of things they had to find should have been their other half.

With every lighthearted, heartfelt bit of dialogue, the other couple visibly relaxed. By the time he suggested they each have a drink to relax into, the once-nervous couple was holding hands. Though they looked bashful, they smiled into each other’s eyes.

Why couldn’t she have that?

She leaned forward to listen as his voice dropped to an animated whisper.

“So just remember, Barb and Neil, no matter how strange you feel during this process, remind yourself that at least your match isn’t hiding from you behind a stack of balloons.”

Fiddlesticks!

She glanced all around, searching for an escape. Pressing her frigid hand to her flaming cheeks, she fought the instinct to run, run, run when he appeared on her side of the balloons.

“Fancy meeting you here, my lovely match!”

He overemphasized every syllable, drawing out her humiliation as his new BFFs chuckled behind him.

“Come, I’d like you to meet my friends.”

“Barb and Neil,”

she said, surprising herself with the strength of her vocalization.

“Nice to meet you.”

“I-i-it’s ni-i-i-ice to meet y-y-you, too.”

Neil’s stutter garnered instant sympathy from Keira. No wonder he wasn’t feeling confident. But it did nothing to diminish the friendliness in his eyes or the kindness in his smile.

“You should both join us for the scavenger hunt,”

Barb offered, bouncing as she spoke the words.

“I love that idea,”

Jared answered.

“But why don’t you go ahead and start and we’ll catch up. I need to have a few words with my lovely match.”

Barb and Neil nodded in unison. Keira watched as they scurried away, admiring the way they matched the colors they wore and wondering if they went shopping here on the island together or if fate convinced them to pack complimentary clothes without knowing it.

“All right, all right,”

she tossed her hands in the air.

“You caught me.”

“Mind telling me exactly what I caught you at?”

She rolled her eyes, certain they’d loosen themselves from the sockets after the amount of time she had spent rolling them this evening.

The alcohol may have affected her judgment, but she couldn’t hold back the words her heart wanted her to say.

“You caught me spying on you because I wanted to say I’m sorry but didn’t know how, and then you were having such a grand old time without me, and I wanted to hear what was going on. It was silly, and I’m sorry.”

His stupid, adorable eyebrows arched, and joy seeped from his rotten, delicious pores.

“You wanted to apologize? Please, do go on.”

She sighed dramatically. Where was the waitstaff with those too-yummy-to-exercise-good-judgment drinks?

“Actually, I had no intention of apologizing. I had every intention of ignoring you and going about my evening as if you didn’t exist.”

Were those drinks some kind of truth serum? She couldn’t stop herself from spilling out every bit of her plot.

“But then you were being so nice to everyone, and I liked it. Not because I like you, so don’t get that stuck in your big old head. But because I like kindness, and you were really kind to Barb and Neil. And I liked that.”

He sucked in his cheek as if holding back a laugh. She playfully smacked his arm, and he responded by pulling her closer to him by her hips.

“I want to apologize, too.”

“You do?”

She stared up into his eyes, her lashes fluttering.

She admired his Adam’s apple as he swallowed hard before continuing. Thoughts incoherent, she could do nothing but focus on his lips as he bit the side of the bottom one.

“Yes. And make a confession or two.”

She waited, her legs growing restless and her stomach churning.

“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings and made you think I’m not committed to the process. I came here to find my match, and I think you know I was over-the-top thrilled to find that serendipity had led me here to find you. So I don’t like meditating. And sometimes I need to get away from the noise. But I like you, and I like spending time with you. Can’t that be enough?”

Yes. Yes, that was enough.

She wanted to shout it out. She wanted nesting birds to flee at her joyful screeches. She wanted people to come running to find out what crazy thing had happened, all so she could put their budding love on display.

But she wouldn’t do that. Obviously, the alcohol influenced her wild crushing feelings.

What she could do—what she would do—is allow herself to feel gratitude that she had been willing to embarrass herself. She would accept the words he offered. And she would allow herself to believe the whole crazy mess was worthwhile if potential love was on the line.

Realizing her head nodded emphatically, she stood on tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

She pulled away quickly, hoping he couldn’t hear the rapid thudding of her heart.

He pulled her back, placing his finger under her chin to force eye contact when she wanted to look away.

Who was she kidding? She could stare into his eyes for the rest of the winter.

His eyelids appeared to grow heavy, and his gaze drifted from her eyes to her lips. She wet them with her tongue, suddenly parched and wishing for another drink.

Because she was thirsty or because she required a dose of liquid courage, she didn’t know.

He leaned forward, and if fireworks erupted at that moment, she wouldn’t have known the difference given the amount of sparks jumping between the two of them in such. Close. Proximity.

Every hormone in her body sat up and cheered. He moved ever-so-slowly, which was exactly what she needed to prepare for what was to come.

As his lips prepared to merge with hers, her hands flew up to his chest, stopping him before she allowed something she’d deeply regret.

“Wait, Jared. It’s too soon.”

He nodded and closed his eyes, seemingly needing to get himself under control. She understood. She was in the same boat.

“I need to take things slow. Need to be sure I can truly commit to being over the past. Is that okay with you? I don’t want to complicate things more than they already are.”

He gulped again, but his eyes were warm and compassionate and had her fighting back the urge to throw herself in his arms and beg him to be the man she wanted, needed, and would cherish forever.

“Keira, I’ll do anything to help you feel comfortable. And I will do my very best to never do anything to make you unhappy. But when I inevitably mess up, I’ll fix it. Just please give me the chance to show you how magical we can be together.”

She nodded, not trusting her voice to speak without breaking.

“I want to take you to breakfast tomorrow. A late breakfast if you want to sleep in.”

How did his voice have the magical ability to send shivers over her skin? To bring butterflies to life in her stomach? To make her toes curl in her shoes and her knees wobble like she walked on unsteady ground?

She nodded in agreement and felt herself blushing from her forehead to her ankles.

He stepped back, creating a much-needed draft between them.

“We should probably get started on this scavenger hunt. Though maybe it’s not a bad idea to let someone else win for a change.”

“Barb and Neil are probably thinking we ditched them.”

Jared slung an arm over Keira’s shoulder and dug the list out of his pocket.

“Something tells me it won’t take us long to find them.”

And sure enough, the nervous couple remained waiting outside the door.