Page 11 of A Heart to Find (Sweetheart Island #2)

Keira had never fought so hard to keep her tears at bay. Not when she tore a hole in her slacks on her first day of teaching and worried she’d get fired for violating the dress code. Not when she dropped a tray of freshly decorated cookies at her class’s Valentine’s Day party and had to face the students who had worked so hard to carefully frost each treat. Not even when she failed her driving test for the first time and had to face her entire group of newly licensed friends.

Holding back her tears had been hard in all of those public situations.

But they paled in comparison to this.

And though they searched and searched, they were no closer to having the necklace back in her possession.

“Tell me about the necklace, Keira.”

She sniffed and willed the tears to stay put until she was in the privacy of her own room.

“My grandfather gave it to my grandmother on their second date. He said he knew as soon as he met her they would be together forever, and he wanted to seal the deal and make sure everyone knew she belonged to him.”

Jared listened in silence.

“Pretty bold, if you ask me,”

she continued.

“But they were madly in love from day one, and all the way until they died in each other’s arms. She gave me the necklace before they died. Maybe she knew her time was coming. I don’t know. But she said it had worked its magic by giving her a lifetime of love and happiness with the man of her heart, and she wanted the same for me.”

Walking next to her, Jared dropped his hand out of his pocket and rubbed her wrist with his pinky. Like a butterfly landing on her skin, the touch barely registered as more than a flutter. Yet that flutter sent shockwaves of intensity through her nervous system and didn’t end until the waves landed with a heavy thunk in her heart.

His deep voice broke through the tension her feelings created.

“I was always so envious of your family.”

“You were? I always thought you found us maddeningly boring.”

“Nah. It’s true I always craved adventure, but there’s something to be said about being around people who actually like to spend time together. When your grandmother would insist I stay for dinner and you guys sat at the actual table rather than in front of the TV… well, I can’t explain how secure that made me feel. I could pretend that I deserved stability like that.”

“Oh, Jared.”

Keira stopped walking and waited until he stopped and turned to her.

“You have always deserved the world. And stability. I never knew you felt that way. You always seemed so cavalier about your relationship with your parents.”

“I’ll let you in on a little secret.”

Jared leaned forward as if to protect his words from traveling to anyone else’s ears.

“Teen boys aren’t known for their ability to communicate well. And my parents weren’t exactly encouraging me to talk about my feelings.”

“In my grandma’s house, that’s all we talked about,”

Keira joked.

“Seriously. My poor grandfather had to deal with having all those women and no testosterone to balance it out. No wonder he loved having you around so much.”

“I really loved them, Keira. They made me feel like I belonged. Like I mattered.”

“You mattered! I hate that you ever thought otherwise.”

Jared looked away, but not before she caught a glimpse of the sorrow in his normally passionately cheerful eyes.

“Jared, I wish I knew this. I would have had you over more often. I would have?—”

She stopped before saying the words she almost said. Saying things like “I would have loved you harder and fought for you more”

weren’t necessary. Or helpful. There was only so far she could dare to tiptoe down the road of nostalgia without falling into a pit.

A pit of viperous thoughts that included thinking she would have followed him around the world to give him stability he had wanted so desperately.

Jared tilted his head in the way he did before saying something mischievous. His eyes twinkled and crinkled at the edges.

“If I spent any more time at your house, your mother would have charged me rent. Pretty sure she threatened a time or two.”

“If it makes you feel better, that closeness you liked so much about our family completely vanished when my grandparents passed away.”

She rubbed the back of her neck. Thoughts of her family brought tension to her shoulders and an ache in her neck muscles.

“That definitely doesn’t make me feel better. Sure, I wanted it for me. But the last thing in the world I wanted was for you to lose something so precious. So rare.”

“Guess it wasn’t as precious as we thought, though. They just had me fooled, making me think they cared about being a close family. Like they cared about me.”

“I don’t believe that. It was precious, even if it didn’t last forever. And I can’t pretend to know what went through their heads and made them okay with turning against you like they did, but I can promise you it has nothing to do with you not being worthy of the love and loyalty they should have been able to freely give you.”

He tilted her chin up so she’d look him in the eye.

“You deserved better than the hand they dealt you. But don’t think for a minute that you didn’t do everything you possibly could to make things good for them. You were only a kid when you were taking care of that family. And one day you’ll have your own family to pour all that love and nurturing into.”

His words soothed her battered soul, and the way he delivered them almost convinced her they were true.

And talk of a future family had her tingling again—like her soul had been frozen and brought back to warmth too quickly. She couldn’t decide if it was a pleasant sensation or a torturous one.

“You hear me?”

Jared asked, tickling her chin and forcing a smile onto her reluctant face.

“How can I not? You’re inches away from me.”

“Does this bother you?”

His deep, savory tones sent shimmers of light throughout her darkened heart, jolting her back to life and convincing her she had stepped into a time machine.

She shrugged. The lie wouldn’t work its way through her vocal cords, but at least her shoulders gave her some small slice of deniability.

A snow flurry whipped itself into a frenzy, saving her from herself.

“We should keep looking. Before the snow buries it.”

She turned away, her chin suddenly cold from the absence of his warm touch.

He followed behind, searching the ground as diligently as she did.

Hours passed. She lost track of time, but the light of the night sky started changing.

Her frozen fingers trembled and her heart sank, but she knew they’d have to suspend the search.

Jared voiced her concerns before she could, saving her from having to make the painful decision.

“Sweetie, it’s almost dawn. Let’s take a break and come back out after we get some rest. Maybe someone has already turned it into guest services. We should at least check.”

Hypnotized by his reassuring tone and the endearment he snuck in, she could only nod in agreement.

“I promise we’ll find it. There’s no way I’ll allow something so precious to stay lost forever.”

Why did she have a feeling he wasn’t only talking about her necklace?

She nodded. That’s all she could do. But when he slipped her cold hand into his and held on tight the rest of the walk back to the lodge, more than her hand warmed.

She wanted to set her heart free and allow him to claim it, but where would it leave her? If they hadn’t worked out before, what right did she have believing it could work this time?

She’d have to be a bigger fool than she thought to allow her feelings to grow.

And yet…

He had been nothing short of amazing.

But it had only been a week.

Could he be trusted to show the same level of attentiveness and affection for the long haul?

He had changed—no doubt. She didn’t have to believe him to know this. She sensed it deep in her gut.

But that didn’t mean he had the capacity for loving her. She could be a handful, and though her friends would tell her she was low maintenance, she knew in matters of her heart she was anything but.

“What has you so pensive?”

he asked, breaking the silence of the rising sun.

“Just tired.”

She released a tight smile. “And sad.”

If she wanted him to be open and honest about his feelings, she had to do the same.

“I know, Keira. I’m sorry we didn’t find it. But don’t give up hope.”

She wouldn’t. Not now. Not yet.

Hopefully not this time.

Finding the necklace would convince her that her grandma had indeed led her on this strange path of serendipity.

But before she continued on the path, she needed to sleep.

Before she did something she couldn’t take back.

After walking her to her door, Jared slipped back into the fresh night air, grateful for the cold to lower his body temperature.

He had to find that necklace. He wanted to see a genuine smile return to her beautiful face, and he knew he wouldn’t until he could prove to her that whatever mysticism she attributed to the piece was alive and well.

Even if it didn’t mean she’d fall for him again, he wanted her to believe in love.

She had always been the idealistic one. He didn’t want to live in a world where Keira was jaded.

She deserved to believe in magic. And fairies. Heck, he wanted her to believe in the biggest mythology of all time—that men could change.

He wanted her to believe that he could be the man to deserve her.

And yet as dawn turned into day, the necklace remained elusive.

He didn’t want to stop. He owed it to her to keep looking. But he had a founder-recommended couples meditation date with her in less than an hour, and he needed to change out of last night’s formal clothes before seeing her again.

And coffee. He needed coffee to face the new day.

Especially a day that involved something as ridiculous as couples meditation.

But later, after what he hoped would be another day of growing closer to her and convincing her they could make this thing work, he would return to the search.

He would find that necklace if it killed him.

Because seeing her heartbroken face would hurt him worse than death.