Page 56 of A Fate of Ice and Lies (Fated #1)

“Whether I deserve it, I’ve been on the receiving end of your love, and I have felt what it’s like to be loved by you. Your love is selfless,” I repeated, sniffling at my own words.

Because he loved me. Whether it was the bond or him, he loved me. He’d shown me time and time again, how he loved me.

“You love without restraint. You love with a depth that has no end.” My breath hitched.

“I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for you to feel my pain and my fear, not knowing what it was or if you’d get to me in time.

You would’ve destroyed yourself to get to me.

I know it. I can feel the truth of that in here.

” I took his palm and pressed it to my chest.

Even after I dropped my hand, he kept his pressed against my chest, where my heart beat wild and scared. He loved me and I. . .

“Nalari and Brenton explained to me that your instincts will drive you to protect me at all costs without any remorse.”

Although it wasn’t a question, he nodded, his throat bobbing as he continued to watch me in silent contemplation. My stomach tightened, and I let out a quiet breath.

“You came to me when I needed you, knowing you’d be punished for it. You must’ve known whatever punishment you received would be dreadful.”

“You were dying.” It came out tired and sad and defeated.

I pressed up to my tiptoes to kiss his lips once—a featherlight touch. He stilled, his features crumpling as he inhaled a quick breath.

“You came for me,” I said again, my heart both cracking and mending. “Even after I rejected you, you kept coming back for me.”

“I’ll always come for you.” His voice broke as his eyes watched me. “You’re my soul-bound mate.”

I held myself open for him, let him see what I couldn’t yet say. Pretending my heart wasn’t in my outstretched hands, I waited to see if he still wanted it.

“You respected every boundary I set and still found ways to take care of me.” I swallowed past the emotions lodged in my throat.

I rested my hand against his wet cheek, stroking the stubble on his chin with my pinky.

“This guilt you carry, it isn’t yours to carry alone.

Not anymore. I know you, Elias. You did what you did because you thought he was hurting me, killing me.

You would never harm someone out of malice. ”

He leaned against my palm, eyes closed and nuzzling my hand. His hands circled my waist, and I went to him, my arms looping around his midsection while he pulled me to his chest. His heart thundered beneath my ear, and his hand cupped the back of my head when I kissed his chest.

I peered up at him, watching each expression cross his features. Noting the hesitant tenderness as if he’d built a wall to protect himself. From me.

I deserved it. Would fight my way over it.

Still, I wasn’t sure how I felt about our bond.

“Can I ask you something?” I nibbled on my bottom lip. When he nodded, I asked, “What does soul-bound mate mean? Do you only like me or want me because of some manipulation of the bond?”

“No,” he said. “The bond brings two fae or individuals together. It manipulates feelings to an extent. When we first met, you trusted me. You were comfortable with me. That was the bond telling you that you were safe with me. It’s like our souls recognize each other and bind us while we get to know each other.

Everything I feel for you, everything you make me feel is because of you.

Because of who you are. I’m in awe of you, Teddy, and I don’t need a bond to tell me that you’re my future. ”

Too scared to hurt him again, I didn’t ask if there was a way to fix the bond. If I really wanted to know, I’d find out from Nalari or Brenton.

“Why don’t you come to town with me?” I asked, changing the subject.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said.

“Everyone’s enjoying the market except you. The one who set it up for us.”

He ran a hand across my back, and I arched into it, wanting his touch more than I wanted my next breath.

“There are sweets and all sorts of food,” I said, trying to entice him. “There’s even some clothes from my favorite seamstress.”

He chuckled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Things have been harder with less food. I hope the market will help bring everyone’s spirits up and forge these trades I’ve been working on with other regions. I don’t want to dampen everyone’s mood.”

Because everyone had become wary of him since the night of his barbecue. Then they’d come to dislike him more since he halved our rations.

All those months he’d worked and helped us, all the goodwill he’d earned had fallen away. My neighbors’ hate toward the fae felt insurmountable, but I knew that underneath all that hate was fear. Unyielding fear.

Fear of Elias and who he’d become. Fear of other fae pretending to be human.

“Come with me,” I said again. “Show everyone you’re still the same Elias who has provided us with food and snow-melting magic.” I grinned. “The guy they fought beside and helped take care of when the thunderbirds and nyxx attacked.”

“They’re afraid of me.”

His words cut through me, and just as he’d done countless times before, I wanted to be there for him.

I curled my fingers around the back of his shirt. “I see you, Elias. I’m not afraid of you. Never you. Please come with me.”

He sighed.

“I don’t have any right to ask anything of you, but I’m doing it anyway.”

He brushed a kiss against my temple. It’d been over a week since he’d held me in his living room after Leanora had struck me. A week since I felt his lips on me.

“Do it again.” It came out raw and hoarse.

He tilted my chin up, and when our lips met, it was soft and almost lazy. Slow, so slow as if he’d spend the rest of the day simply tasting me.

When he pulled away, I looked at him, really looked at him, and wasn’t surprised with what I found.

Home. He was my home.

“I’ve missed this,” I said. “Not just this, us kissing, but everything. I’ve missed talking to you and laughing with you, holding your hand and. . . just you. I’ve missed you.”

“Every day,” he said as if he wrenched the words from his heart. “I’ve missed you every moment of every day.”

I kissed his lips. Once, twice.

His eyes darkened, but it was a different kind of darkness. A beautiful type of black that seemed endless but not foreboding.

“Come with me,” I urged again.

This sigh was more resigned. “As if I could deny you anything.”

Nalari stayed close like an overprotective mother hen.

She’d snarled when I thought it, which had me voicing my thoughts to Elias, who’d given me another forced smile.

The smiles he gifted Victoria were genuine, and although I wished he’d grin at me in that easy manner, I was happy to see it existed at all.

Everyone at the market gave us a wide berth. That distance only grew wider when Everly, Brenton, and George came to his side. While Everly and I had formed a new, cautious friendship, it still felt strained. I longed for the ease we’d had not that long ago.

I bumped my shoulder against hers. She stiffened. I wasn’t sure who glared harder at me, Donnie or George.

“What if we skip training tomorrow?” I gave her a small, tentative smile. “And I don’t know, sit on our asses and eat cake?”

Her smile built hesitantly. “That sounds like a warrior’s paradise. ”

“Right?” I looped my hand through her arm. “My toilet’s gonna hate me later.”

She snorted.

“I didn’t realize ladies spoke of such delicate matters.” Brenton’s wide grin was relaxed.

“If you think that’s delicate, wait until you hear about a woman’s menstrual cycle,” Ryenne added.

On a groan, Nate tugged Ryenne to him so her back pressed against his chest. “You can’t behave for two seconds, can you?”

She laughed. “You love me, though.”

He nipped her ear, whispering something for only her to hear.

As the sun set, lights that someone had strewn throughout the trees caused a warm glow around us.

With Donnie and two other officers’ help, we managed to wrangle everyone out of the food bank to lock up.

No one left the area, though, and while the kids played in the open field, many of us stayed to talk and share whatever sweet we’d gotten.

My stomach was bloated from bread and chocolate but that didn’t stop me from grabbing more cookies and cupcakes. Somehow, we still had enough food left over for another market the following day.

The only one who hadn’t eaten, hadn’t talked or laughed, was Elias. He’d followed our group sullen and withdrawn. I was sure it didn’t help that people avoided him. Avoided us.

It was stupid of me to have asked him to come. Stupid to think people would remember the good he’d done.

“I’m calling it,” I said. “Karaoke night at my place.”

Ryenne squealed while Donnie and Nate groaned.

I pointed at both of them. “Shut it. ”

Everly unhooked her arm from mine, but before she could take a step away, I clasped her wrist.

“Don’t think you’re getting out of this so easily,” I told her.

“You want me to come?” she asked.

“All of you.” I pointed at the three males. “It’ll be fun.”

At least more fun than the day had been for Elias. I hoped.

I flagged Javier down, and they ran up to us after he got the girls. Only Jasmine grumbled when I told them it was time to go home. As usual, she’d be the first to fall asleep.

“It’s a competition to see who sings better,” I explained to my fae friends.

“Hee-haw always wins,” Donnie told them.

I rolled my eyes. “Elias seems to be good at everything he does, so my money’s on him.

” I tapped my finger against my lips. “Except cooking. He said he’s awful at that.

” I sidled up next to him. Taking his hand in mine, I enjoyed the warmth that emanated from his large hand.

“I still think you’re full of shit and just trying to get out of it. ”

Brenton barked out a laugh, with George and Everly joining him.

“Not a lie,” Everly said.

“He gave everyone in our tavern food poisoning once,” George told us.