Page 49 of A Fate of Ice and Lies (Fated #1)

Chapter

Twenty

ELIAS

My cottage was too quiet since my friends were out hunting for more livestock. It was something I should have done but couldn't bring myself to do. At least I’d let them absorb some of my magic to help. And for once, Nalari hadn’t grumbled or complained.

Not that I was in any mood to listen to her or anyone.

Yet I wanted someone’s company.

Since seeing Teddy the previous day, it had become more difficult to slip back into the abyss.

That was what I called the madness in my head when my primal instincts took over.

The emptiness of not thinking or feeling was sublime, and although I wanted to stay there, I couldn’t. Not with Teddy in danger.

She needed me to be at my best, not wallowing over my many mistakes. She’d been right to reject me after she’d learned about my lies and coercion.

Guardians help me, seeing her had shattered whatever remained of my soul. Logically, I knew I should reject her so I could move beyond this. But I was hers, belonged solely to her, even if she didn’t want me.

I’d slay a thousand more lirio to keep her safe.

I pushed myself off my bed and headed outside after tucking away the journal I’d finished reading. I welcomed the snow that fell on my face and the cold that seeped deep into my bones. It was one of the few things I’d missed in the two weeks I allowed myself to feel nothing.

A tentative smile crept over my face. While every part of my body hurt from this terrible heartache, I could still savor the moments that brought me joy.

“Nalari!” I called out.

At the large area she claimed as her pasture, she shook her enormous body and let out a huff.

“If you want to know what’s in the last chapters of the journal, take me flying,” I called out.

Goosebumps rose over my flesh in anticipation.

“I can just sift through your brain and get the information myself,” she countered.

“Nalari,” I grumbled.

“I’m not taking you hunting,” she argued. “You’re careless and ? —”

“Flying, Nalari.” I let her hear my desperation. “I just want to fly.”

She was silent for a few beats. “Flying. We can do that.” There was a hint of joy in her voice, and it made me wonder if she used to fly for fun back at Niev with the other Guardians. Our mountain of responsibilities usually kept her too busy to do that here.

I ran for her, letting my long strides eat the distance between us. When I reached her, I leaped onto her side using her scales to climb onto her back .

This was good. This was normal.

I pushed away the aching emptiness of losing my mate. Of never really having her.

When Nalari crouched down, I hugged my chest to her neck. She leaped off the ground, her wings tucked to her side, and dove into the sky like an arrow set for the sun.

Her wings fanned out, and as she expertly glided in the air, I spread my own arms out. I lifted my head upward and let out a loud whoop.

Nalari laughed. And then my crazy Guardian rolled so that I was upside down for a few beats, certain to fall to my death before she righted us again.

Gripping the expanse of her neck as best I could, I barked out a raucous laugh.

“Maybe warn me next time you do that.” I chuckled.

“Where would the fun in that be?” she joked back.

Joked. As in Nalari, my Guardian who didn’t have friends, teased me. Right after she did some insane trick with me on her back.

With a few flaps of her wings, she angled her body upward. She flew us straight up again, her speed increasing, when she leveled us off and then plunged straight to the ground.

My heart raced, and my smile grew, all while I hugged my body close to hers.

One after another, Nalari maneuvered her body through the sky in ways I’d never seen her do before and hadn’t known she was capable of.

By the time she finished, my cheeks hurt from how much I’d smiled. It only made me happier when I felt her own joy through our connection .

“Your friends are back at the cottage,” she told me. “Do you want to keep flying or go back to tell them about the journal?”

I wanted to keep flying. Wanted to talk to Nalari about what I’d read so we could discuss it before I told the others.

I’d already spent the past two weeks acting like an ass to them, so shouldn’t I at least discuss this with them?

“Don’t apologize to them,” Nalari demanded. “Royalty doesn’t apologize, and I needn’t remind you you’re a prince.”

“A fallen prince, Nalari.”

I wasn’t ready to talk to them, though. Wasn’t ready for the pity in their eyes or the questions they wanted me to answer.

I wasn’t ready to be in the same space as the journals, where Teddy’s scent lingered on every page.

“I’ll circle your region while you talk,” Nalari said.

I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to talk about Teddy or her journals, so I chose the least painful.

“There really wasn’t much in this journal,” I told her, frustrated with the time I’d wasted on details that weren’t important.

“Tell me anyway.”

“A whole lot of plotting her vengeance,” I told her on a growl.

“The only thing of substance is that she’s been using the lirio to steal away fae that get close to the borders.

” I ran a hand over my face. “I don’t remember my uncle saying anything about missing fae, though.

Do you think he’d keep this from me or my parents? ”

“From you, possibly, but not from your parents,” she said. “He wouldn’t be able to keep it from Sama, and if his Guardian knew, I should’ve heard about it as well.”

We were silent for a few beats.

“She used the fae taken by the lirio to absorb their magic, the same way she did to Blaise and continues to do to her other brother.”

Nalari’s anger burned deep in my chest.

“What do you think this has to do with Teddy?” I asked.

“More importantly, what does this have to do with you, Elias?”

I recoiled at her words.

“As Everly already said, there’s a reason the mage is reaching out to your mate,” Nalari continued. “There’s a reason your mate was in the human realm in the first place.”

I felt the way the veins in my neck strained and popped while I tried to steady myself. I couldn’t lose myself. I needed to stay grounded. Needed to stay me.

“What do we do next?” I felt helpless and so damn ignorant. “When will the Elders allow us back into our realm to look for her?”

How could I help Teddy when I had no clue what was going on?

Just then, thunder clapped. My instincts flared with the familiar excitement of an upcoming battle. Again, I clamped it down, maintaining my focus. I could fight these birds and any other creature the way I’d always done, with my instinctive nature pushed down.

Nalari tipped her head higher and sniffed. “A small flock of three thunderbirds, all heading to our place.”

She circled, flapping her wings faster while I mulled everything over.

Soul-bound mates were supposed to be a gift from the Guardians, and make no mistake, Teddy was a gift.

But giving me a mate in the human realm never made sense.

Although the Guardians had never felt the bond between mates, they knew fae well enough to know how impossible it was to keep mates apart once the bond stirred.

The longer a fae tried to ignore the call, the harder it became to do so .

What if it hadn’t been the dragons who’d bound our soul but the mages from long ago? Or Leanora through the living book she studied?

If she’d learn to manipulate fate. . .

But the connection I felt with Teddy was real. It wasn’t just the bond, though, but Teddy herself. She was kind and gentle; fierce and loyal. She made me laugh. Guardians help me, she was sexy and beautiful and absolutely adorable. She made me want to do and be better.

The bond simply magnified everything Teddy was.

“Elias,” Nalari called, ripping me from my thoughts. “I want to try something different with the female thunderbirds.”

She circled closer to the ground, and when she landed, I hopped off and called out my sword. My friends stood at the clearing, their weapons out and ready to fight.

“Talk fast,” I said.

“I’ll need your friends to help,” she continued. “It may drain them and leave them defenseless if it doesn’t work.”

“Spit it out.”

“I want to use our joined magic to subdue the females,” she said. “I believe Leanora has some sort of hold on them. If we can subdue them while they’re regaining their strength from a lava strike, maybe we can free them of that hold.”

“They barely have any magic as it is,” I argued.

“I know. Ask them anyway.”

I wasn’t sure what was worse. Potentially leaving my best friends—my brothers and sister—defenseless or killing the thunderbirds.

Already, I had too much of their blood on my hands, especially in the past couple of weeks when I’d hunted and killed without any regard for life.

I’d been sure to keep the Guardian of Death busy, but now that I wasn’t bloodlust, I regretted it.

Not once had I stopped to ask for safe passage for any of the thunderbirds I’d killed.

While I rarely asked for a peaceful passage into the afterlife for the darker creatures of our realm, I’d always taken the time to pray and honor the thunderbirds.

For light to shine eternally on them so they could find the peace they hadn’t found while alive.

With my sword away, I asked my friends to lay their weapons down as well. Although confused, they did as I asked.

“I’m sorry to ask this of you,” I started, watching the flock get closer. “Nalari thinks if we join our magic together, we could subdue the thunderbirds.”

Trusting me despite all the ways I’d failed them, Everly and Brenton nodded while George stood there stunned with his brows furrowed and mouth open.

“Before you agree, know you may deplete the little magic you hold, and it still may not be enough to subdue them,” I warned.

Everly knocked a fist to her chest twice. “I trust you,” she said.

Brenton did the same. “As do I.”

Their loyalty was humbling, and while I wasn’t sure I was worthy of it anymore, I’d do my best to deserve it once more.