Page 26 of A Fate of Ice and Lies (Fated #1)

His eyes, swollen with dark circles beneath them, stayed trained on me with something that looked a lot like hope flashing behind them. “I depleted all my magic before I knew the commander was coming,” he explained. “That’s why I looked tired before my punishment.”

His punishment, which wasn’t meant for him but for a sixteen-year-old boy trying to take care of what was left of his family.

I was an asshole for not having helped him. No, worse, for having offered but quickly taken it away.

“Nalari is allowing me to absorb her magic to heal the young Jasmine,” he continued.

“Could you use her magic to heal yourself?” I questioned.

One side of his lips quirked up the tiniest bit. “I could, but I’m not allowed to.”

Right, no healing allowed. Commander Hudson’s orders.

I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “Then when you finish, you’ll come to my place so I can give you medicine to take care of your back.”

He blinked slowly at me. “Thank you,” he whispered.

I nodded.

Something in my chest clenched at the gratitude that shone in his eyes. At the way he watched me as if I was all that mattered. Then he looked away, taking away the warmth that spread inside me.

I felt a sizzle when he closed his eyes, like a slight electric shock that wrapped around Javier’s small house.

Elias leaned forward and put his large hand over Jasmine’s head.

She squirmed beneath his touch. Slowly, her crimson cheeks returned to normal as did her labored breathing.

Within a few moments, she blinked her eyes.

Javier rushed to her side and dropped to his knees. Immediately, Jasmine crawled out of Elias’s lap and into her brother’s embrace.

Elias let out a long, slow breath that I felt with a knot in my stomach. His face had turned a sickly gray, making the bruises under his eyes more pronounced.

“I apologize, but I can’t heal your other sister tonight,” he told Javier, his body swaying forward before he righted himself.

“But if she gets worse or Jasmine’s fever returns, use the herb I gave you.

It’ll hold them until I can return tomorrow with my magic fully restored. Do you remember what to do with it?”

Still holding his sister, Javier nodded. “Smash it into a powder in a cup and pour hot water over it.”

“Good.” Elias dropped a hand on Javier’s shoulder and squeezed.

“It looks like Teddy brought you some food as well.” He gestured toward the small bag of food I’d brought with me.

“I’ll be back tomorrow with some warm clothes for everyone and to check on you and your family.

Tend to your sisters, and if you’re feeling unwell, let me know so I can heal you before you get sick.

Once everyone is on the mend, George or Brenton will come get you so you can start working our land for more rations. ”

Javier stood, picking Jasmine up with him. She rested her head against his shoulder the same way Victoria rested on mine.

“I could start tomorrow,” he said with a hint of urgency .

“Between what Teddy and I brought, you have enough food for a week or more,” Elias said. With a sigh, he crawled to his knees and pushed himself off the floor. “All I need you to do now is take care of yourself and your sisters. Understood?”

“But,” Javier stammered out, taking a step toward Elias.

The way he looked up at Elias with admiration and trust made me uncomfortable.

Not because Elias hadn’t earned it but because I hadn’t seen it.

Hadn’t fully accepted everything Elias had done so selflessly until now.

Until a sixteen-year-old boy, who should’ve felt defeated by life, looked up at Elias with hero worship in his eyes.

“You took my punishment,” Javier whispered.

“It was far more just for me to receive that punishment than you,” Elias countered.

“You healed my sister and brought us food and. . .” Javier shook his head.

Elias rested a hand on the boy’s lanky shoulder. “You do not owe me anything. You’ll take this time to rest and then come work with me.”

Javier gave him a jerky nod. “Thank you,” he told Elias before he turned his attention to me. “You too, ma’am. Thank you for the food you brought us.”

In my arms, Victoria squirmed in a way that made pain shoot from my lower back. I shifted her position, but it did little to ease the sudden throb.

“If you ever need anything like help with your sisters or”—I stole a glance at Elias and his friends and tried to figure out how they’d feel about me offering him more food—“anything, let me know. I’m at the food bank most days but don’t live too far from there.

Ask anyone from town, and they can tell you where I live. ”

His dark complexion grew darker with his blush, and he drew his attention to the chipped linoleum floor.

I wasn’t sure if he was ashamed to need help or something else entirely.

“When my mom died, everyone in Colina helped me in some way,” I told him, shifting at the heaviness of Elias’s attention. “I was already an adult, and besides my pet donkey, I didn’t have anyone to look after. You’re doing a great job taking care of yourself and your sisters.”

With a shuffle of his feet, he huffed a disbelieving sound.

“You are, Javier,” I insisted as I hugged Victoria closer. “Not everyone is cut out to take care of others, but you’re doing it. You haven’t given up, and that’s the most important part. And now you have others who want to help you. Let us help you. Okay?”

His eyes rimmed red when they crashed against mine, and he jerked his head in a reluctant nod.

“Appreciate it,” he whispered, pressing his lips together into a thin line.

“We should head out,” Elias said.

He moved his hand toward me but never made contact, letting his hand linger just above my shoulder. For a second, one very stupid split second, I wished he’d touch me again. I wanted to feel the warmth from his skin on mine.

Instead, I rushed out the door and waited for Elias by the foot of the front step. Even under the moonlight, I could see the way exhaustion marred his otherwise perfect face. Could see how strenuous each shuffled step he took was for him.

“Why don’t you head back home, and if Brenton doesn’t mind walking with me, I can give him the medicine and cream I have for you?” I offered.

His shoulders bunched further at my suggestion. “I’m okay without the medicine or cream,” he said slowly as if each word cost him. “Thank you, though. You’re the only one who offered to help me.”

“Elias.” I sighed out his name. I took a single step so I stood closer to him, and when I reached for his hand, through the gloves I wore, warmth spread through my fingertips.

I stuttered out a broken breath and drew my hand away to cup Victoria’s back.

I forced out a cough to clear my throat and maybe my head too. “If you don’t treat your back, it’ll get infected.”

“Could I go by your house tomorrow to get the medicine?” he asked.

Waiting for my reply, he blinked slowly, his head swaying as he tried to keep himself upright.

It was basic kindness that had me going to his side and gripping his arm while I tried to balance a sleeping seven-year-old in my other arm.

“I’d rather you get it tonight.” I peered up at his pretty yet masculine face. “If not, I’ll end up worrying about you, won’t sleep much because of the worrying, and be cranky when I work at the store tomorrow,” I rattled on. “And it’ll be all your fault.”

His lips twitched as he leaned into me, not enough for me to take on much of his weight but enough that I hoped it steadied him. When his eyes met mine, I held my breath at the desire I saw in them. Which couldn’t be right, not with the amount of pain he was in.

I was tired. That was all it was—my tired, often delusional imagination. There was no place for desire or lust between us.

At least that was what my brain said. The pit of my stomach and the way it churned with longing said otherwise.

His breath felt warm on my face. “Brent, do you mind going to Teddy’s to get the medicine?” he asked, his gaze still intent on me.

“Whatever you need,” his friend said, but neither of us turned our attention.

Because his gaze? I felt it everywhere. A sweet caress on my cheek, the erratic thud of my heart, the heat in my lungs. He was everywhere without even touching me.

The sound of large wings beating broke my trance, and although there wasn’t much space between us, I drew even closer to Elias when Nalari landed a few feet from us.

I’d seen her before. Always from a distance—flying in the sky or roaming a clearing with Elias.

She wasn’t far from him today when the commander beat him.

But this was the first time I’d seen her up close.

With the dim light from Javier’s trailer, I could see Elias was right.

She was majestic. Her golden eyes gleamed in a way I couldn’t look away from.

“Nalari.” He cleared his throat, and when his body trembled, I held on to his arm harder. “Nalari said I can use her magic to get us to your place. If that’s okay?”

He looked down at me expectantly, and when he stepped toward her, I followed, keeping my hand tucked in the crook of his arm.

I told myself it was simply so I could steady him if he stumbled.

When we reached Nalari, he leaned heavily on her but slid his hand to grab mine.

It felt right, like we were supposed to hold hands. And that realization should’ve worried me. Not that I took my hand from his. Whatever magic or bewitchment this was, I was okay with it. At least for tonight.

He shuddered out a breath when he stared down at our joined hands. I squeezed once. His other hand covered the top of my hand, and in an instant, we stood in my living room. Electricity buzzed around us in a constant current that zapped without hurting.

Hee-haw grunted at us in surprise from his spot on my couch. Elias whipped his head at the sound and stumbled forward.

“Hey,” I said gently.

I gripped his shoulder to steady him. It took a few seconds for him to lean against me so I could take on some of his weight. With my hand on his arm, I squeezed once before slowly guiding him to the couch.

When he sat at the edge, I shooed a squealing Hee-haw off the couch.

Because tonight was apparently the night of losing all my senses, I ran my fingers through Elias’s silky black hair.

When he leaned into my touch, the butterflies in my stomach flew into a frenzy.

I would’ve sighed, almost did, but somehow managed to bite it back.

It didn’t stop my insides from tightening when he peered back at me, his eyes wide with a mixture of hope and wonder. And yes, definitely lust.

What would it feel like if I were to kiss him?

I jerked back a step and huffed out a laugh. “I’m going to put Tori to bed and will be right back.”

He leaned forward on the couch, his eyes drooping closed as I hurried out, only peering back at him once. Okay, twice, but it was to make sure he was okay. Or at least, that was what I told myself.

Within a minute or two, I was back with three painkillers, a glass of water, and an over-the-counter antibiotic cream.

Elias sat on the couch with his legs spread open and his head dangling forward while Hee-haw stared at him.

I put the items on the coffee table and ushered the donkey out the door to potty.

With the door open, I whispered, “Nalari, if you’re out there and there’s a three-headed dragon in the woods or some other creature, can you ask it not to eat my donkey?” I paused. “Please.”

From the sky, I heard a noise that sounded like a huff, and I hoped that meant she agreed.

When I turned, I found Elias awake, barely, but his eyes were open and watching me. He rested his elbows on his knees, and he swayed forward when his arms buckled. He straightened, shaking his head as if to clear it.

“Nalari. . . will watch. . . over”—he swallowed—“him.”

I sat next to him and gave him a gentle smile while my heart pounded in my chest. “He’s a good donkey,” I said lamely.

He either dropped his head in a nod or was about to fall asleep again. When I tipped his chin up with the gentlest of pressure, he blinked before slowly turning his face toward me.

“Here.” I handed him the glass of water and three white pills.

He took them but simply kept them in his hands. I circled my hand around his wrist and, feeling a bit silly, guided his hand with the pills to his mouth.

“They’ll help ease some of the pain,” I told him.

Once he put them in his mouth, I raised the glass to his lips. His eyes tracked me over the rim of the glass as he swallowed.

“Good.” I clapped like the nervous idiot that I was. “Let me look at your back.”

He shifted, and when I moved the hem of his shirt up, he drew in a stammering breath. Dry blood caked his shirt, making it stick to his skin. I took it off him slowly, gently, trying not to hurt him worse than he already was. Inch by inch, I pulled it off him.

His back . . . his poor, brutalized back was torn and tattered, some parts hanging on by a ribbon of skin and tissue.

Blood still oozed from his open wounds that must have hurt beyond reason.

I sucked in my own shaky breath and willed the tears burning behind my eyes away while I figured out how to clean his wounds and help him without hurting him further.

But this was too much.

The commander who had appointed himself ruler over all of us had done this to him. His uncle, his own flesh and blood, had done this to him. What would he do to us?

Elias touched my knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. “He won’t hurt you,” he promised as if he’d heard and ripped my fears from my chest. “I won’t let him.”

“I’m not worried about myself right now.”

While it wasn’t the full truth, it wasn’t a total lie either. Of course, I was scared for me. For my friends. For every human on this earth.

But it was Elias who’d been punished. Who now suffered because of the commander’s cruelty. Who, despite the insurmountable pain he must’ve been in, had still gone to Javier’s house to give him food and heal his sister.

I ran my hand through his hair again. He sighed, and when he dropped his head forward, I did the most idiotic thing I’d ever done and kissed the back of his head.

My nipples pebbled at the way he drew in a shaky breath. At the way he whispered my name as if it were a prayer.

“I’ll be right back.”

Before he could reply, I hurried to the kitchen, and with my back to him, I used my arm to rub my breasts roughly and argued with the twins to stay down.

I mean, seriously what in the actual hell was wrong with me that I’d be turned on at a time like this?

While I filled a bowl with warm water and a small splash of soap, I gripped the countertops and tried to steady myself.

But I’d kissed him. Had willingly touched him.

And fuck me if I didn’t want to do it again. Wanted to do so much more with him.