Page 72 of A Change of Heart

She ran her teeth over her bottom lip. “I was in a rush.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to check how you were doing, but you didn’t answer your phone or your doorbell, and no one seemed to know where you were. I was worried …” Their eyes locked and all she wanted to do was kiss him again. If he moved so much as a millimetre in her direction she wouldn’t be able to help herself.

He didn’t though. He shifted his gaze to his hands as his brow wrinkled with a frown. “Sorry you were worried. I’m fine.”

“Are you?” she asked gently. “What the heck were you doing having a nap in the bottom of the boat?”

“I wasn’t sleeping. I was looking at the sky.” He gazed at the plump white clouds overhead. “When I was a kid, Dad would bring me out on the boat and I’d lie down and watch the clouds floating by. I thought it’d be nice to feel that carefree again … just for a few minutes.”

The muscles in his jaw tightened as he continued looking heavenwards.

“Sorry,” Seren said, reaching for his hand. “I knew you’d be missing him today. That’s why I wanted to check on you.”

“I’m okay,” he said, swallowing hard.

The shriek of gulls broke the silence for a moment, then died away, leaving the sound of the waves slapping against the boat to fill the void.

“There’s something I can’t get out of my head,” Kit said, giving her a sidelong glance.

“What?” She swallowed, thinking he was going to bring up the fact that she’d just kissed him. Except it was clear from the serious set of his features that he had a lot more on his mind than her springing kisses on him.

He chewed on his lip for a moment, then shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. Forget it.”

“Just tell me.”

“I saw Dad on the day he died,” he said after a pause. “I’d taken the train out in the morning, and I was walking up to see if I could scrounge lunch from Mum before I took the afternoon tours.” He paused and looked down at Seren’s hand, which was still curled around his. Turning his hand over, he intertwined their fingers, the action making Seren’s heart flutter. “I saw Dad putting the boat in the water as I walked along the lane, and I remember thinking that if I hurried I could catch him and go out with him for an hour.” His breath caught in his throat and tears filled his eyes. “But I was hungry …”

She squeezed his hand as he turned away from her. “You couldn’t have known,” she said quietly.

“I slowed down.” His voice was choked with emotion. “I knew that if he saw me he’d ask me to go with him … I could never say no when he asked me to go out on the boat with him, so I slowed down so he wouldn’t see me … I watched him sail away on his own, and it was the last time I saw him.”

“Oh, Kit,” she breathed, leaning over the tiller to wrap her arms around him.

“I should have gone with him. If I’d have gone with him he might still be here.”

“There’s no way of knowing what might have been if things had gone differently that day. But beating yourself up about it isn’t going to change anything. And you know your dad wouldn’t want you to.”

“I never told anyone that I saw him,” he sniffed. “Not even Mum. I feel so guilty.”

Seren’s throat was so thick it was difficult to speak. “He asked Noah to go out sailing with him that day,” she finally managed. It wasn’t her secret to tell, but she was sure Noah wouldn’t mind, given the circumstances.

“What?” Kit pulled away from her, searching her features.

She nodded. “He told your dad that he didn’t have time. He also thinks he should have done things differently.”

“Who knows about that?”

“Me and your mum. Possibly Keira now … I don’t know.”

He leaned on his knees with his head in his hands.

“Noah felt terrible,” Seren said. “He blamed himself. Thought that everything would be different if he’d just gone with him.”

“What did Mum say?” Kit asked sadly.

Seren swallowed the lump in her throat. “What do you think she said?”