Page 58

M cColl

“Grandmother!” I scream. My eyes fly open as I sit upright in bed. “Grandmother, no!”

Panic claws at my chest. Something bad has happened. I know it. I feel it.

“Thank the goddess, you’re awake.” Strong arms wrap around me, pulling me against a familiar chest. “It’s alright, McColl. You’re safe. I’m here.”

Kian’s voice, warm and alive and so wonderfully real, cuts through my panic. I turn in his embrace, my hands frantically searching his face, his shoulders, his chest, needing to confirm that he’s truly here.

“Kian?” My voice comes out as a whisper. “You’re…you're really back? You’re okay. You’re you again.”

His beautiful green eyes meet mine. I am relieved that there is no artificial glow, no vacant stare. Just Kian, my Kian, looking at me with such tenderness that my heart nearly bursts.

“Yes, it’s me,” he says softly, his hands cupping my face as he searches my features. “Thanks to you. You saved me, McColl.”

I melt into his warmth, letting his solid presence anchor me to the present moment. He’s here. He’s safe. He’s himself again. The nightmare is over.

But as he pulls away slightly, I take in our surroundings and realize where we are. My grandmother’s room. Her bed. The familiar floral wallpaper, the old wooden furniture, the scent of lavender she always liked so much.

It all comes rushing back.

“No,” I breathe, turning to look at the other side of the bed.

I reach across, touching nothing. The sheets are empty. The pillow still bears the faint indent of a head, but she’s not there. My grandmother is gone.

“My grandmother, she…she…” The words tear from my throat in a broken whisper.

Kian nods once, his expression filled with gentle sorrow. “I’m so sorry. She passed peacefully yesterday, just before dusk.”

The grief hits me, stealing the breath from my lungs. I double over, clutching my stomach as sobs wrack my body. She’s really gone. My grandmother, my champion, the woman who loved me unconditionally. She’s gone.

Of course, I knew it deep down inside.

Kian’s arms come around me again, holding me close as I cry. He doesn’t try to hush me or tell me it’s going to be okay. He just holds me, his hand stroking my hair, letting me grieve.

“I brought you here to her bedroom,” he says quietly when my sobs begin to subside. “I thought…I thought you should be with her. That you’d want to be close to her. You were…you were dying, McColl.” His voice breaks.

I nod against his chest, unable to speak yet.

He clears his throat. “The strange thing is,” Kian continues, his voice filled with wonder, “the moment she died was the moment you started coming back. Your color improved, your breathing got stronger, your heart rate steadied. It was like…”

“Like she gave me her life essence,” I finish, my voice hoarse from crying.

“She did. I saw her, Kian. It was on another spiritual plane.” I shrug.

“I know I sound crazy, but it’s true. We were in the most beautiful orchard, picking fruit.

She looked young and healthy and so alive.

” Fresh tears spill down my cheeks. “She told me it wasn’t my time.

That I had too much life left to live. She gave me everything she had left so that I could come back. ”

Kian’s arms tighten around me. “She saved you.”

“Yes,” I whisper. “She didn’t have much left to give, but it was enough, and I’m grateful. I’m mostly grateful that I got to say goodbye to her.”

“I’m happy for you and so very sorry for your loss.”

I swallow thickly, and we sit in silence for a time. I’m lost in thoughts of my grandmother.

“Thank you,” Kian finally says, his voice rough with emotion. “For what you did for me. For giving up your life essence to bring me back. I am beyond grateful, McColl, but I’m also absolutely furious with you.”

I pull back to look at him; his jaw is set, and his eyes are blazing.

“We spoke about this before. What you did was generous but also dangerous,” he continues. “You could have died. You nearly did die. You would have if not for your grandmother. I’m going to need you to promise me, right here and now, that you will never do anything like that again. Promise me.”

“It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“Not that big of a deal?” His voice is gruff. “You nearly died. That’s huge.”

“You would have done the same for me.”

“It doesn’t matter. I need you to promise that you will never do that again. Not for anyone. I don’t care who it is. Even if they are dying. Even if it is me. You promise me that you won’t use your life essence again for any reason.”

“I promise,” I tell him. “But I’m not sorry I did it. I couldn’t lose you, Kian. I couldn’t.”

His expression softens slightly. “I was so sure I’d lost you.

When you collapsed in my arms, when you wouldn’t wake up…

” He shakes his head. “I’ve never been so terrified in my life.

You’ve been lying in bed, slowly fading from this world for days, and nothing anyone did helped.

I’ve never felt so useless, so afraid…fucking terrified, and it can never happen again.

I’m grateful to your grandmother for everything she did.

She gave me back the most precious thing in my world. ”

The tears come again, but these are different. “I said that I promise never to do it again, and I meant it. I won’t.”

“Good.” He seems to relax.

“I’m sorry,” we both say at the same time.

We both smile.

“You first,” Kian tells me.

I take a shaking breath. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry I let you walk away.

I should have known my mother was up to something.

I should have realized she’d found a way to separate us so she could turn you into…

whatever it is that you became. I should have known you would never hurt me intentionally, that you were lashing out because of something she did.

Something she orchestrated. In fact, I did know, deep down but I… I was hurt. I wasn’t thinking.”

“McColl—”

“Let me finish,” I say, placing my hand on his chest. “She told me what she did. How she planned it all. How she used my grandmother as a puppet to get me to do exactly what she wanted. My grandmother was never lucid. It was my mother all along.”

Kian's face darkens with anger. “She used your grandmother like that. I almost can’t believe the lengths she went to. I can’t believe what she’s capable of. That’s sinking to a new low.” He shakes his head in disgust.

“It happened alright. She needed us to solidify our power. Then she needed you to leave on your own. She had to split us up, so she spoke through my grandmother, pretending to be her. It’s disgusting.

It was my mother who spoke those horrible words.

I should have realized it wasn’t her talking.

My grandmother would never have suggested I use someone I cared about. ”

“Even so, you didn’t do anything wrong. We had an agreement.

I had no right to get so angry. To say those things.

I swear I was going to come back and apologize for being such a horse’s ass.

It took me a little while to come to my senses, to see through the pain of hearing your grandmother say that.

When you didn’t set the record straight, I… I just…”

“You had every right to be angry. Having an agreement with someone and using them are two very different things. What we had was honest. It was open. We both knew what we were getting into. I don’t blame you for getting upset when you thought I took my grandmother’s advice to use you to get my powers.

Like I didn’t give a damn about you. It couldn’t be further from the truth.

I was shocked she said it. It all makes sense now. ”

“The reason it got to me so badly was because my feelings for you had grown so much stronger than I wanted to admit. I was trying not to acknowledge what we had, trying to keep it simple and practical. When I heard your grandmother’s words, it felt like a sharp knife to my heart.

I had planned on asking you to come with me up until that point. I was hurt, but I should never have—”

“I could have said something. I should have. I knew something was off. I planned on asking you…no, begging you to take me with you, but then you were so…so cold. I thought I had misread the whole situation. I was reeling with shock when you left.”

“I gave it some thought, and I felt so guilty. I realized I'd made a terrible mistake, but it was too late. Your mother was waiting for me on the mountain path. She ambushed me. She was alone and wanted me alone and vulnerable.”

I reach up to touch his face, tracing the line of his jaw with my fingertips.

“She mentioned something about us being stronger together. That you have more control over your magic when I’m nearby.

I think she was afraid of us as a united force.

She needed you to have your power so that she could turn you for Snow.

She wanted me to have my power so that I could finally be the daughter she always wanted.

She needed us to have sex in order to do that, but didn’t want us together. She made that clear.”

“To me as well. She hated the thought of you and I actually together.”

“So, she orchestrated a way to break us up. I had also decided that I’d made a mistake letting you talk to me like that and then leaving.

I also had a feeling that something was up, but when I tried to leave, the house was surrounded by the Children of the Veil.

I wasn’t permitted to go after you. My mother is cunning.

She’s exactly the kind of witch who gives all witches a bad reputation. ”

“I heard about what you did. The whole village is talking about it. They’re all rooting for you to pull through. I’ve been told different versions of the same story many times.”

I groan and scrub a hand over my face.

“Don’t be like that. You should be able to take a compliment. I was told how you stood up to her in front of the entire coven. How you convinced them that what she’d done was wrong, even though it put you at great risk.”

Heat floods my cheeks. “I couldn’t let her get away with it. What she did to you was unforgivable. You would have done the same had the tables been turned.”

“We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you, and I’m so damned proud of you,” he says, taking my hand and pressing it to his lips.

“From what I heard, you were magnificent. Brave and strong and everything I’ve always known you to be.

” His eyes lock with mine. “I need you to know that I love you, too.” He smirks at me.

I frown. “What was that? Too? What do you mean by ‘too’?”

A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

“After your mother made me drink that vile poison and cast a spell on me, I was trapped inside my own body. I could see and hear everything, but I couldn’t move or speak.

I was screaming inside, trying to break free, but nothing worked.

Until I heard you tell me you loved me.”

My cheeks burn hotter. “You heard that?”

“Every word,” he says, his voice growing husky.

“It gave me something to fight for, something to hold on to. I need you to know that I love you, too, McColl. I want to spend forever with you. I want you at my side when we take down Snow, and I want you beside me on the throne as my queen. I can’t think of anyone better suited.

You’re kind, intelligent, not to mention selfless. You’re also very beautiful.”

The words steal my breath away. “Kian…”

“You should know that it won’t be easy,” he continues, his hands framing my face.

“I know there will be challenges, people who won’t understand or accept us.

But I can’t imagine my life without you in it.

You were made for me, McColl. I truly believe that.

I’d like to think that I was made for you.

Will you have me? Will you let me spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy? ”

“Yes,” I breathe, the word coming out as a breathless whisper. “Yes, of course, yes. I couldn’t think of anything I would want more. I welcome any challenges because I know we’ll face them together.”

His mouth brushes against mine. His lips taste like forever. I make a desperate moan as I hold on to him. I can’t wait to spend every day with him.

When we finally break apart, both of us breathing hard, I rest my forehead against his.

“I belong with you,” I whisper. “Wherever you go, whatever we face, I belong with you.”

“Always,” he murmurs back, his arms tightening around me. “Always and forever.”

Outside the window, the first rays of dawn are beginning to break through the darkness. A new day is beginning.

We have a war to fight, a queen to defeat, and a realm to save and we’ll do it together, as it should be.