Page 46

M cColl

I sit on the stone bench in the small park across from the Great Hall, my hands clenched so tightly in my lap that my knuckles have gone white.

The afternoon sun warms my face. I should be relaxed and soaking it up.

All around me, the valley is picture-perfect.

From the birds singing in the trees to the flowers blooming in vibrant colors in large beds, not to mention the children who are playing in the distance, their shouts of laughter carrying to me in the slight breeze.

But I can’t enjoy any of it.

I’m sick with worry.

My entire being is focused on those large iron doors across the square. The doors that Kian walked through, what feels like an age ago, to face The Circle. To face my mother and six other powerful witches who could decide his fate with a single word.

So far, all has been quiet. No sounds of conflict, no sudden bursts of magic that I can sense, or the smell of burning in the air. I keep telling myself that it’s a good sign. If they were trying to kill him, surely there would be some indication? Some magical disturbance? Surely?

But the silence is almost worse than chaos would be. At least then I’d know what was happening.

I’m tempted to go inside. To burst through those doors, but I can’t.

I can’t do that to Kian. I have to sit tight and trust in him, just as he has always trusted in me.

I have to trust in his ability to sway them.

To see what is needed of them and of our coven.

To do what is right. I wish I’d had the courage to wish him good luck before he went in there, but I avoided him this morning.

I shift on the bench for what feels like the hundredth time, my dress rustling against the stone.

The carriage waits nearby, the driver dozing in the afternoon warmth, but I can’t bring myself to sit in its confines.

I need to be able to see those doors. Need to be ready to run if anything goes sideways.

My thoughts are also on my grandmother. I visited her earlier, but she didn’t recognize me. It was just as my mother said it would be. It was heartbreaking to see her like that. I’m so deep in my thoughts that I don’t hear her approach.

“Well, well. If it isn’t the witch who thinks she’s too good for her own kind.”

Moons, what did I do to deserve this?

I lift my head, and it is indeed Lydia. The last person I want to see. Her hips sway with that same confident stride as always. She’s dressed in a simple green dress that makes the silver strands in her hair more apparent.

A Child of the Veil.

“Oh, it’s you.” I keep my voice neutral, though every muscle in my body tenses. “I’m not in the mood for whatever games you want to play today.”

She laughs, the sound sharp and mocking. “Games? This isn’t a game. I’m just curious how long you think your little fairytale will last?”

I stand up from the bench, my patience already worn thin by worry and anxiety. “What are you talking about?” I sound defeated.

“Your fae pet, of course.” She tosses her dark hair over her shoulder. “Once he gets what he wants,” she gestures to the Great Hall, “he’s going to leave as fast as his legs will take him. You know that, right?” She narrows her eyes at me.

The words hit their mark, just as she intended. But instead of the crushing shame I might have felt a week ago, anger rises in me like a tidal wave. I’ve had enough. More than enough.

“Don’t bring Kian into this. What does he—?

” I sigh. “You know what, Lydia?” I step closer to her, my voice gaining strength.

“I’m done. I’ve had enough of you and your nastiness.

What exactly is your problem with me? What did I ever do to you to make you so determined to hurt me? To bring me down every chance you get?”

For a moment, Lydia looks taken aback by my direct challenge. Her perfectly composed mask wavers, and I see something in her eyes, something that looks almost like pain.

“My problem?” She laughs, but it sounds hollow now. “My problem is that you have everything, McColl. You always have. And you don’t even realize it. The perfect life. The perfect everything.” Her voice breaks a little. She looks upset. Like I hurt her.

Not a chance. I won’t have her turn this around on me.

Just as quickly, she pulls herself together, her gaze hardening.

I stare at her in genuine shock. “Everything? Are you completely mad? You think I have everything?” I laugh bitterly.

“You’ve had access to your magic your whole life.

Everything has come easily to you. You’re beautiful, confident, one of the Children of the Veil.

You have everything I’ve ever wanted. How is it that I have the perfect life? Where did you come up with that?”

Something shifts in Lydia’s expression. The arrogant, confident woman I’ve known my entire life seems to crumble before my eyes, her shoulders sag.

“You don't understand,” she says quietly. Her voice is completely different now. Vulnerable. “The reason I’ve been so hard on you…” She shakes her head. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.” I attempt to soften my voice, too.

She swallows and then looks up at the sky. She looks to be on the verge of tears. “I’ve always been jealous of you, McColl.”

I blink at her, certain I must have misheard. “Jealous? Of me?” That can’t be right.

“Yes…of you. Lilith Ravencrest is your mother. She just happens to be the most powerful witch in our coven, maybe in all the covens. You had both parents growing up, and a grandmother who adored you. You lived in the biggest, grandest house in the village.” Her voice catches slightly.

“Do you know anything about me? You can’t possibly. ”

“What do you mean?”

“When we were children in school together, what did you know about me?”

“You were popular. You’re magically gifted.

You never had to try too hard.” I shrug.

It’s true; when I think about it, I don’t know much about Lydia beyond that.

“I know that you bullied me. Made fun of me. I’m sorry, but I didn’t particularly want to get to know you.

I tried to stay as far away from you as possible. ”

She nods, looking down at her feet for a few moments.

“I guess I can’t blame you for that. My life wasn’t as good as it seemed.

I lived in one of the smaller sheds on the edge of the village.

A tiny one-bedroom house – if you can even call it that.

I lived with my mother. My father died when I was still a baby.

I don’t remember him at all. Not a single thing.

She wouldn’t tell me about him either. She said it hurt too much. ”

“I’m sorry.”

“At least your mother took an interest in you, McColl. She pushed you and wanted you to be the best you could be. My mother didn’t care.

She preferred the company of elderflower wine to anything else, including her only child.

I had to look after her and not the other way around.

Some days, we didn’t even have food to eat, but there was always wine. ”

The words hit me with surprising force. I had no idea. All these years, I’d seen Lydia as someone who had it all together. Someone who had everything.

“I didn’t know,” I whisper.

Lydia's smile is bitter. “Not many people did, and I liked it that way. I had to work on portraying a certain image. It took years to perfect. But it was never true.” She looks down at her hands. “You have always had the ability to turn every head in a room without even trying. You’re a natural beauty who could snap her fingers and have any man she wanted. Including, apparently, a king.”

I shake my head, still reeling from these revelations. “Lydia, that’s not—”

“Let me finish, please. You didn’t let the fact that you don’t have much access to your power get to you,” she continues. “Not you.” She shakes your head. “Anyone else would have given up, but you shouldered on. Your sheer tenacity and work ethic was admired by everyone.”

“That’s nonsense.” Is she right? Did I miss it? Was I too absorbed with being a disappointment and not living up to my mother’s expectations that I couldn’t see what was right in front of me?

“Do you remember Professor Thornfield?”

I wince at the name. “She was so hard on me. Nearly broke me with her constant criticism.”

“She was hard on you because she respected you,” Lydia says firmly.

“She saw something in you. That’s why she pushed and pushed.

” Her voice grows quieter. “Most would have crumbled. Not you, McColl. Then there’s the fact that you survived so long with so little magic in a fae Court; that’s incredible.

And then you escaped. I can’t think of a single person who’s ever made it out of a fae Court alive. ”

My throat tightens with unexpected emotion.

“And now…” Lydia's voice grows soft. “Now you have a fae king completely in love with you. That’s why I’ve been such a bitch. I’m jealous. I’ve never been so envious of anyone in my entire life.”

The revelation crashes over me like cold water. “I didn’t know. It never entered my mind.”

“I told myself that if I ever saw you again, I would apologize for how I treated you when we were young. But the moment I laid eyes on you, all my old insecurities came rushing back. I reverted to that jealous, bitter girl I was in school.” Her shoulders slump completely.

“I’m so ashamed. I should never have treated you the way I did.

At least at school, I had an excuse – I was young and ignorant.

I was hurting and lashed out. I didn’t know better.

I don’t have any excuse anymore. I know better now, and yet I fell so easily into my old ways.

I’m sorry, McColl. I hope you can forgive me, and maybe we can make a fresh start.

” Her eyes are wide and filled with unshed tears.

“I would understand if you can’t. If you hated me. ”

I stare at her for a long moment, processing everything she’s told me. This vulnerable, broken woman in front of me is so different from the confident tormentor I remember. And yet, I can see the hurt child she must have been, lashing out because she was drowning in her own pain.

I never saw it that way.

I never knew.

“Yes, of course I forgive you,” I say softly. “And yes, we can absolutely start over. I would like that.”

“Thank you.” She takes a tentative step toward me. I take one toward her, unsure what to do next.

“Hey, McColl. You came.” I turn to see Kian walking down the steps of the Great Hall, and my heart leaps at the sight of him. He’s grinning broadly, his whole face alight with joy and triumph. Relief floods through me so powerfully that my knees nearly buckle.

He’s alive. He’s safe. And from the look on his face, things went well. His jaw tightens when he sees Lydia.

“I should go,” Lydia says quickly, stepping back. “We’ll talk soon.”

“Yes, of course. Take care of yourself.”

“You, too.” She hurries away, leaving me standing alone as Kian strides across the square toward me. When he reaches me, he sweeps me up in his arms, spinning me around as his laughter fills the air.

Then he sets me down, his gaze on Lydia’s retreating back. “What was that all about?”

“I’ll tell you later. How did it go in there?” I ask, even though I can guess.

“They agreed!” he says, his hands still on my waist. “All of them. We have an alliance…well, technically, I have an alliance, but it’s semantics. We actually did it!”

“ You did it,” I tell him.

“We did it together.” He pulls me into a hug. In the next moment, he goes rigid, pulling away. I follow his gaze and see my mother standing in the doorway of the Great Hall, watching us with an unreadable expression.

“The carriage,” I say quickly, taking his arm. “We’d better go.”

We climb into the waiting vehicle and ask the driver to take us back to our temporary home. As the carriage lurches into motion, Kian is practically vibrating with excitement, talking rapidly about the meeting, the plans they made, the future he can now see clearly.

“I can’t wait to let the others know. They are going to be thrilled beyond belief.”

“They will be.” I nod. “When are you leaving? Are we packing when we get back? If so, we’d better hurry. It—”

“No, no, no. Today is for celebrating. I will leave in the morning.” He takes my hand, squeezing it. “Unless you would prefer I leave right away?”

“I think one more night can be arranged.” I smile at him.

“Good.” He leans in and kisses me softly.

I kiss him back, forcing a smile as he pulls away. How can someone be so happy and so heartbroken at the exact same time?