Page 54

M cColl

My eyes remain fixed on the heavy wooden door, willing it to open, desperate for any sign of hope.

The healer has been in there with Kian for what feels like forever, and the waiting is slowly driving me mad.

Every second that passes feels like an eternity stretching between me and the answers I so desperately need.

I shift on the hard bench in the hallway, my hands clenched so tightly in my lap that my knuckles are aching. The silence from behind that door is deafening.

“It’s going to be alright, I’m sure it is,” Lydia says softly, placing a gentle hand on my arm. Her voice carries a warmth I appreciate. “The healer from the Silvermoon Coven is one of the best in the whole realm.”

“I know,” I choke out. When none of our own coven healers could help him. Blaise and several of the Children of the Veil rode hard to fetch Morwyn.

“If anyone can help Kian, it will be her. Have faith.” She looks at me, her eyes filled with concern.

I nod absently, though her words don’t ease the knot of anxiety in my chest.

“Even the Silvermoon witches are horrified by what your mother did.”

A bitter laugh escapes me. “It’s been days since Mother turned him into…a shell of who he was. Days, Lydia. And there’s been no change whatsoever.” My voice cracks with the weight of my desperation. “He’s alive, but that’s where it ends. This is his last hope. What if—?”

“No, you can’t think like that. You need to wait and see.”

“I know. You’re right. It’s just that it’s…it’s so hard.” I bite on my lip and blink to stop the well of tears threatening to fall…yet again. I’ve cried altogether too many times in the last few days.

Every time I see Kian and what he has become… He’ll dress himself, wash, eat when food is put in front of him, but that’s it. He’ll go through the motions of living, but I can’t say that he is truly alive. Not one emotion has crossed his face. There’s just…endless nothingness staring back at me.

“I know, and I’m so sorry this happened. If only we had known what she was planning.”

“My mother is clever. She knew that if she told anyone or brought this to the Circle, that they might vote against her. She knew she had a better chance if she had already turned Kian. If she had already set the wheels in motion.”

“If not for you, she might have gotten away with it.”

“And you, Lydia. Thank you for—”

She smiles. “You’re not going to thank me again, are you? You’ve thanked me enough.”

“It will never be enough. You sent everyone in the right direction.”

“No. You did, McColl. If I hadn’t stepped forward first to stand with you, someone else would have.”

I’m not entirely convinced of that. Sometimes, it takes one brave soul to change the course of things. I’m grateful to Lydia. If anyone had told me not so long ago that she would become my greatest ally and a good friend, I would not have believed it. It’s strange how quickly things can change.

I look at the door again because they don’t always change for the best.

I press my hands to my face, feeling tears threaten again. “I wish I could do more. I feel useless.”

“You’ve been here for him. You care. You’re doing all you can.”

“Not enough.” How do I take him back to his friends like this? I keep thinking about it over and over. They would be horrified. Especially Thesha and Xander. They’d blame me, and they’d be right to. This is my fault. I should never have let him push me away like that.

“I was so stupid to have allowed this to happen.”

“This is on Lilith.” Lydia’s grip on my arm tightens. “Your mother deceived everyone – The Circle, the entire coven. All of us.” Her voice grows gentle. “I know you’ve been to see her several times, but she still refuses to say anything.”

I nod miserably. “She won’t talk to me, won’t talk to anyone. No one from The Circle, not the healers. She just sits in that cell, staring at the wall. It’s infuriating. Makes me want to choke her with my bare hands, but then I would be just like her.”

Before Lydia can respond, the door opens. Healer Morwyn emerges, her weathered face grave as she looks between us. She’s older than I expected, with silver hair braided with colorful feathers. I liked her the moment I saw her. She has kind but tired blue eyes.

“McColl, would you come inside, please? We need to talk.” Her voice is soft. She glances at Lydia. “If you will excuse us, dear?”

“Of course.” Lydia inclines her head for a moment.

My heart hammers as I follow her back into the room. It sinks when I see Kian sitting exactly where we left him, upright in the chair by the window, staring at nothing with those horrible glowing green eyes. He might as well be carved from stone for all the life he shows.

Healer Morwyn gestures to a chair across from her, and I sink into it gratefully, my legs suddenly weak.

“This is a conundrum indeed,” she begins, easing her own considerable frame into her chair. “But you deserve the truth. I’m not sure how much you know about dark magic. Evil magic.”

“We touched on it in our studies.”

“That is what this is. It’s evil and awful, but I’m sure you know that already. What do you know of conjurers?”

I nod. “I know that they are made. They’re not born.” I tell her what Kian told me not all that long ago, when we were in the Star Caves. It feels like a lifetime ago.

Her eyes flare with shock and then interest. “That’s right, child.

It’s a terrible thing to do to a person.

A terrible thing, indeed. It is against our teachings.

As witches, we’re all about balance. Things like this skew that delicate balance.

What has happened to this young man…young fae, is an atrocity.

It should never have been inflicted on him,” Morwyn confirms grimly.

“Your mother has always been ambitious, but this…she took it too far.”

I wish she would tell me what I don’t already know.

The healer sighs heavily. “What’s been done to your young man is that he has been half-turned.

Caught somewhere between who he was and what Snow intends for him to become.

It’s not all bad news.” She looks at me pointedly.

“Had he been delivered to the queen as your mother planned, she would have completed the transformation, turned him into one of her puppets. At that point, there would be no bringing him back. The man you love would be gone forever.”

My breath catches. “But as it stands now?”

“As it stands, it is possible to reverse the process. To bring him back to being the Kian you know and love.”

Joy explodes in my chest like fireworks. “Oh, thank the goddess. What do we need to do? Whatever it takes, I’ll—”

But Morwyn's expression stops me cold. The hope in her eyes has dimmed to something much more uncertain.

“That’s the problem, child,” she says quietly.

“I don’t know how to make it happen. I’ve tried several of the most powerful healing spells in my arsenal, techniques passed down through generations of my coven.

None of them worked. Not even the ancient rituals touched whatever darkness has taken hold of him. ”

The words are like physical blows. “But…but you said it’s possible. It is possible, isn’t it?”

“Theoretically, yes. The fact that he’s only half-turned means the door isn’t completely closed.

But I…” She spreads her hands helplessly.

“I’ve exhausted my knowledge. I’ll return to my coven and study the matter further, consult with our oldest texts, reach out to other healers.

But I won't lie to you, McColl. I’m not hopeful.

I also think that his condition might be progressive.

I’m not sure how much time we have. It might not be enough. ”

“Progressive?” I say in a choked voice.

“I’m so sorry,” Morwyn continues, reaching over to pat my hand with surprising gentleness. “I wish I had better news for you. That I could do more, but…I promise I’ll do everything in my power to find answers as quickly as I can.”

“Thank you for trying.”

“I wish I could have done more.” She stands.

We say our farewells, and then I’m alone with Kian in the heavy silence of the room. I stand and walk over to where he sits, positioning myself directly in front of him, searching those glowing eyes for any flicker of recognition.

Nothing.

“Stand,” I ask him, taking his hand.

He does as I ask, getting to his feet, but nothing changes in his expression. Nothing changes in his face at all.

“Talk,” I command, but he just stands there. I’ve tried this before, but I have to check, just in case something Morwyn did worked. I look him over.

Is it just my imagination, or are there more black veins spreading across his face than there were this morning?

They look darker, too, more pronounced against his pale skin.

My heart sinks. I think Morwyn was right.

Whatever this is, it’s progressive and getting worse.

Kian is falling further and further into darkness, further away from me.

Before long, I won’t be able to reach him at all.

“Kian?” I say softly. “Can you hear me? It’s McColl. I’m right here.”

As always, there is no response. Not even the slightest acknowledgment that I’ve spoken or that I am even here. Whatever the healer tried had no effect at all.

I place my hands flat against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath my palms.

“Please,” I whisper. “Come back to me. I know you’re in there somewhere. I know you can fight this.”

Still nothing.

I was told not to use any kind of magic on him. I was warned against this because it might make him worse. We just don’t know.

But desperation claws at me. I have to try, so I close my eyes and send healing magic into him, the same power I used to help Maya, only much less of it. I open my eyes at the same time as he blinks.

He blinked.

He did!

I gasp. It’s the first time I’ve seen him have any kind of response since my mother did this to him.

It isn’t much, but it’s something, and I’ll take it.