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I close the bedroom door behind me and immediately start pacing across the polished wooden floor. I don’t want this night to end. I want to stop the clock. Tonight could be my last night with Kian. It could be the last chance we have to be together.

Tomorrow afternoon, Kian faces The Circle to plead his case. We have no idea how that will go. I have no doubt whatsoever that I won’t be permitted to attend. That I won’t be allowed anywhere near the Great Hall.

Which means Kian will be alone. Vulnerable. Without access to his magic and without my protection.

It may not go as planned. As accepting and welcoming as my mother is being now, I know that it could change in a heartbeat. She could turn nasty…vicious, even. I know what she’s capable of.

They could deny his request and ask him to leave immediately. Or worse, they could decide he’s too dangerous to let live.

The thought of losing him makes something twist in my chest.

I stop pacing and press my hands to my face, trying to calm my racing thoughts. But all I can think about is what my grandmother told me. Her words echo in my mind like a bell that won’t stop ringing.

There is a way for both of us to keep our magic, even when we’re apart. A way for Kian to face whatever comes tomorrow, and he’ll be able to do it with the full strength of his power. To face his fight against Snow with his full powers at hand.

I’ve been wrestling with this knowledge all evening, torn between what feels practical and what feels right.

Because if I’m being honest with myself, my reasons for wanting to go through with this run so much deeper than just to keep our magic.

Sure, I would love to keep my newfound access to my power.

It’s what I’ve wanted my whole life. It’s not why I want to have this night with Kian.

I want more, but I will settle for this.

I can’t deny it anymore; I’m falling in love with Kian. Falling harder with each day that passes. Tonight showed me that clearer than ever.

Kian.

The way he makes me feel powerful and worthy and…wanted. Not for what I can do or what family I come from, but just for being me.

He sees me and understands me like no one else does.

I keep thinking that if I don’t seize this last night with him, I’ll regret it. If I don’t at least tell him what my grandmother told me, I’ll be betraying him somehow.

I make the decision right there and then to tell him. To do it now. I need to be clever about how I position it.

He can’t know my true feelings for him. It would complicate things. It will only make things harder when he leaves.

As always, the same thought enters my mind, namely that there is no future for a fae king and a witch. Nothing has changed.

No, if we’re going to do this, it has to be for practical reasons. A strategic decision that benefits us both.

For me, this is my chance to finally be the witch I always dreamed of being. To matter. To make a difference.

For him, as one of the kings, it’s even more important.

Before I can lose my nerve, I stride to the door and yank it open. A few short steps and I’m standing in front of his door, my hand raised to knock.

I can do this.

My heart thumps wildly as I rap softly on the wood.

“Come in,” his voice calls, and I push the door open.

I’m surprised to find him still fully dressed, standing by the window with his back to me. He turns when I enter, and I can see the tension in his shoulders, the way his jaw is set.

“Is everything okay?” He is frowning heavily. “Is it your grandmother? Something else?”

He’s so sweet. It makes me want him even more.

“I need to tell you something,” I say quickly, before I can change my mind. “It’s important. I should have told you before now.”

His eyebrows rise. “What is it? You can trust me.”

“I know. It’s just that it’s…sensitive. When I saw my grandmother earlier today, she shed some light on our magical abilities. She couldn’t remember exactly what it was all about, only that there was a way for us to keep access to our powers, even when we’re apart.”

“That sounds good. What do we need to do?”

“That’s where it gets tricky. She said that we are joined magically on a spiritual level. She said that we need to join on the physical plane, as well.”

He frowns but doesn’t say anything.

“We need to have sex. There! I said it.”

His eyes widen, but he still doesn’t say anything.

“I know it complicates things since we’re…

um…friends,” I go on, speaking fast. “I also know that we’re attracted to each other, which would make it easier.

” I sigh. “What I’m trying to say is that I think we should go ahead, Kian.

I mean, we’re both adults. We’re both consenting.

I’m not a virgin, so it isn’t a big deal.

I have the blackbark tea, so there’s no risk of pregnancy.

You’re leaving soon, so there’s no chance of either of us developing feelings. ”

Now his expression is unreadable. He’s just standing there.

Oh, gods!

“So that’s it,” I finish, my cheeks burning. “That’s what she told me. A way for both of us to keep what we’ve gained. I don’t mind so much. I can get by without having much access to my powers, but you’ve got a war to win, Kian. What do you think? What do you want to do?”

The silence stretches between us, growing heavier with each passing second. Kian stares at me, and I can see something working behind his green eyes, but I can’t read what it is.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Please don’t be mad. It’s confusing…that’s all,” I add when the silence becomes unbearable.

“That’s a lot,” he finally says.

This is followed by more silence. So much silence that I start to fidget, smoothing down my skirts, playing with the stone of my necklace.

“If it isn’t what you—” I start to say.

“You’re right; it makes practical sense to go through with it, but you don’t seem like the type who has casual sex.

” His voice is quiet, careful. “I respect you too much to let you do anything out of a sense of duty. Or because you feel you owe me something. Would I love to keep my powers? Yes, but at any cost? No.”

The gentleness in his voice, the concern, nearly undoes me. But I force myself to keep my expression neutral, practical.

“I’ve only ever had sex with one person, and then, only a handful of times, so no, I’m not into casual.

Like I said, I’m a grown woman. I know you respect me.

I respect you, too. I definitely wouldn’t do this out of a sense of duty.

No way!” I laugh. “I’ve wanted power my whole life, Kian,” I say with a shrug that I hope looks casual.

“This is my chance…our chance. I happen to find you attractive. I think we could be good together…in bed, that is. It could be fun.” I gesture between us.

“It’s the perfect solution. One night together.

We cement our powers, and then after your meeting with The Circle, after they’re on board with your plans, you go on your way. We both benefit. The end.”

The words feel like sharp stones in my mouth, but I force them out anyway. I need him to believe this is just about magic and attraction. Nothing deeper. Nothing that will complicate things when he leaves.

Various emotions flicker across his face – disappointment? Relief? Desire, perhaps? It happens so quickly that I can’t quite tell.

“Only if you’re sure,” he says slowly. “I know that it’s just sex, but—”

But what?

He doesn’t finish what he wanted to say, and I want to groan in frustration.

“It would be a practical solution. An agreement between friends. And, yes, I’m sure.” The lie comes easily. I’ve had years of practice hiding my true feelings. There is a part of me that feels like this is a mistake. I’ve never been more confused, and yet never wanted anyone more.

I want him.

“Very sure.” I reach for the hem of my dress and pull it over my head in one swift motion, letting the silky fabric pool at my feet. I stand before him completely naked, my heart pounding so hard that I’m sure he can hear it.

“I want you to take me to bed. And I want—” I swallow thickly.

Kian’s eyes stay locked on mine. The tension in the room is so thick it’s hard to breathe, like lightning waiting to strike.