Page 28

K ian

Three days later…

I stand alone by the edge of the lake, my shoulders rigid with concentration as I raise my hands, attempting to call forth my magic.

Nothing happens.

Not even the faintest spark…and I’m not at all surprised.

I try again and again, but of course, I fail. The third attempt is no more successful than the first two, and I drop my hands in defeat, my head hanging low. I can feel the power, but I can’t get to it. The frustration burns through me like acid, even though it was expected.

A few moments later, McColl appears from around the corner of the barn, her boots crunching on the dirt as she approaches me. Even before she reaches me, she’s already shaking her head.

“No luck!” she yells, making a face. Then, as she draws closer, she says. “It’s back to how it was before…” She sighs. “I have limited ability when I move far enough away. You?”

We’ve made various attempts to access our magic independently. And there can be no doubt now – my theory is correct. Our powers are bound together somehow, inextricably linked by whatever happened during that eclipse when I broke the amulet around her neck.

I shake my head. “Ideally, you’re very close, or my power wanes. Once you move away, my magic is less and less accessible.”

“Same here.”

“I mean, we’ve tested it. Even if we can see each other but are too far from one another, it’s gone.”

“Just like if we’re close but can’t see each other, it’s still there,” she says.

I nod. “As far as this last attempt is concerned, as soon as you turn that corner, it’s gone.

I’m back to having nothing at all. I have no access, as it should be, I guess, since I’m a magicless fae.

” I sigh, lifting my hands. “Now that you’re here, I can feel it right there again. I have plenty of power.”

“Me, too.” She looks down at her hands as well.

“Together, we can wield magic that rivals any conjurer I’ve ever seen, but apart…

” She gives me a half smile. “I liked being powerful…but as you said, I’m used to the way things were, to not having access to great amounts of power.

I’ll get used to it again…I guess. It’s just, my mother…

she…” McColl chews on her lip. “She would have loved having a daughter she could finally be proud of.”

The longing in her voice, the understanding that she’s spent most of her life feeling incomplete…it makes something twist in my chest.

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, genuine regret filling my voice. “I wish there was another way.”

McColl straightens her shoulders, putting on a brave face that isn’t quite convincing. “My mother will live. I will, too. It just would have been nice to matter for once.”

“You shouldn’t have to be powerful to matter. You should just have to be you. It should be enough. It is enough, McColl.”

She gives a humorless laugh. “You haven’t met my mother, then.

” McColl’s expression shifts, becoming more guarded.

She sits on a rock, wrapping her arms around her knees.

“She is the most powerful of all the witches in my coven. She’s the head of The Circle…

as it has been in my family for generations.

The Circle is our governing body, comprising of seven witches of great power.

The Ravencrest clan, my clan, has always had powerful daughters.

One of them has always been the head of The Circle once the time comes.

I am the first in my family to fail. There will be no more Ravencrests in power once my mother steps down. ”

The sadness in her voice makes me want to hug her. To try to make it better. But I don’t.

“I’m so sorry she’s made you feel that way about yourself. There is more to a person than how much power they can wield.”

“Not according to my mother. She’s exacting,” she says carefully. “She’s always been hard on me. Harder than she was on my brothers.”

“How so?” I prompt gently.

“From the time I was old enough to understand what magic was, she made it clear that I was a disappointment.” McColl’s voice grows quieter.

“She wanted a daughter who was powerful enough to sit on The Circle. Or, at the very least, who could be a Child of the Veil. One of the elite witches who serve in our army.”

“Let me guess; you need to be powerful to be a Child of the Veil?”

“Oh, yes. When she realized that I wasn’t good enough, she tried several times over to have another girl; that’s why I have three younger brothers.

” McColl lets out a bitter laugh. “My only solace is that she’s just as disappointed in them as she is in me – for not being the right sex.

I think she would have had more children, but she almost died after having my baby brother.

The healer had to take her womb to stop the bleeding.

She blamed me for everything. Got harder on me from that day.

Her only daughter, and unable to do much more than light a candle at the best of times. ”

I feel a surge of anger on her behalf. “That’s hardly your fault.”

“My mother sees it differently. She even blamed my poor father. She told him it was his bad blood running inside my veins.” I can see the old hurt in her eyes.

“She used to say that I must have been cursed in the womb, that some dark magic had touched me and stolen away my birthright. She’d look at me sometimes like I was a stranger who’d wandered into her home by mistake. ”

My hands clench into fists at my sides. “She had no right to make you feel that way.”

“Some people have a natural maternal instinct. My mother is not one of those people. In fact, she’s the opposite.

She’s cold and hard. She often said that a leader doesn’t have the luxury of emotion, of fun, of any kind of a life outside of their responsibilities.

A leader has to rule with everything in them.

I think she is just as hard on herself as on the rest of us.

” Her eyes widen. “I never realized that until right now.”

“That’s a big insight. It doesn’t excuse her. You had to grow up without love.”

“That isn’t true. My father was the loving one. He always did his best to make up for my mother. He loved her fiercely despite all of her shortfalls in that department.” Her eyes grow hazy with the memories that must be flooding her mind. She gets a sad but loving smile.

“Was?”

McColl blinks back tears, sniffing softly. “He died a year before I was taken. A tragic fall.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“My grandmother has always been there for me, too. That’s my grandmother on my father’s side. My mother’s side of the family are all like her. No time for me or my brothers. I’ve learned to deal with it.”

Something tells me that isn’t true. McColl is harder on herself than most.

“I am ultimately a disappointment, but she didn’t have to rub it in at every turn.

I’m nervous about seeing her again. I doubt she missed me much.

Anyway, enough with all the negative talk and ‘woe is me’ stories.

” McColl stands, brushing off her skirt with brisk movements.

Her tone brightens, the way people do when they’re trying to convince themselves as much as others.

“I may not be a Child of the Veil or Circle material, but I have other attributes to offer. I can teach. Let’s face it, I know more about magical theory than most practitioners ever bother to learn.

” She smiles. “I can still do good within my coven.”

The forced optimism in her voice makes me feel sorry for her. She’s spent so long being told she wasn’t good enough that she’s internalized it, made peace with feeling lesser.

“As long as you know that to some of us, you are enough. You’re a selfless, kind person.

I feel like my life is better for knowing you.

” A lump forms in my throat, and I swallow it down.

“Thank you for being you. Please, stay as wonderful as you are…magic or no magic. It doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter.”

She blinks a few times and sniffs, a smile gracing her beautiful face, which has filled out a little in the last few days. “That means a lot coming from you, Kian. You’re not one to mince your words. And I’m grateful for…for…your friendship.”

I swallow back everything I want to say. I clutch my hands behind my back so that I don’t reach for her. Tonight is our last night in the house, and then I am taking her to Witch Mountain…back to her coven.

“It’s been…liberating to feel useful. To feel powerful, even if it’s temporary. I have you to thank.”

“That’s not true. We have fate to thank. But fate gives, and fate takes away just as easily. That’s how we have to see it.”

“You’re right.” She smiles. “How about I give you another wielding lesson while you still have your power?”

I shake my head. “Nah, best I ignore it, so that I don’t get too used to it or attached. It’s not like I can use it once I leave the safety of the valley.”

“You are absolutely—”

The sound of someone approaching has us both turning.

Xander lifts a hand in a wave. “Am I interrupting?” he asks as he nears us.

“Not at all,” McColl says quickly. “We’re done testing our powers.”

“And?” Xander asks, lifting a brow.

“It’s as expected.” I shrug. “We can only access our powers when close enough to one another. It diminishes the farther apart we get.”

Xander makes a face. “That’s a pain in the you-know-where.”

“It is, indeed,” McColl says, taking a step back and then another.

“I should go prepare for our journey tomorrow. There’s still much to pack and organize.

” She gestures toward the cabin. “I wanted to get some laundry done today as well.” She looks up at the sky.

“That looks like rain. Best I get going.”

She hurries away before either of us can say anything more, quickly disappearing behind the barn.

I watch her go, then turn to stare out over the lake, lost in thought.

“You know what you are planning is insane, right?” Xander says behind me.

“Which part of it?”

“The part where you walk into a coven of witches.”