Page 48

“It doesn’t matter Liam’s my brother, right?” She finally speaks, softly.

I sneak another glance at her, finding her eyes pinned on the road, but her hands are twisting the hem of her blouse. Twisting, releasing, and knotting it again.

My fingertips prickle, the neurons misfiring. I’m floored by my impulse to reach over and hold her hand, knowing how soft and warm she feels against me.

How right it is to have her hand in mine.

“Your brother is the most important person to me outside of my family and—” I stop myself, but I hear her breath hitch and I know she understands what I can’t say.

Outside of you.

“You see, Alexis—”

“I liked it better when you called me Nova.”

Things were different when she was my Nova.

But she can’t be. Not anymore.

I swallow, but the lump in my throat grows. “Alexis, I’m an Anderson. Part of a famous family of overachievers. You know how I felt—lost, trying to measure up, to feel like I deserve to be partof that family. I love them, there’s no doubt about that. I’d die for them. But I always felt like the odd man out.”

Maxwell and Ryland, being twins, were always attached at the hip. Rex and Lana, both extroverted, are the life of the party. They egg each other on and just seem to “get” each other. Then there’s me, the quiet one.

After entering the underground parking structure at Manhattan Memorial, I park the car. “Liam and I met at orientation at Columbia. He was the devil-may-care punk who looked like he’d be working at a tattoo parlor than burying his head in books. He befriended the quiet rich kid who sat in the back corner. I’d avoided my classmates—most of them wanted to butter me up because of my family. To them, I was an Anderson. It didn’t matter who Ethan was. I could be an asshole and they’d pretend I was their best friend.”

Shaking my head, I think back to the forced smiles I gave as people stopped me in the commons, the hushed whispers I’d hear when I went back to my apartment on campus, hoping I’d be able to experience some sort of normal college student life, then, there was the crushing disappointment when yet again, I either felt like a bird on display at the zoo or someone faking it, pretending everything was okay.

“Liam didn’t give a shit. He plopped down next to me and said I could use a joint because I looked like I had a stick shoved up my ass.” I chuckle, thinking of my best friend’s antics. “Then, after insulting me, he asked me to borrow a notepad and a pen because he forgot to bring anything. It was refreshing. He was honest and so damn loyal to me over the years. In some ways, he felt more like a brother to me than my own siblings.”

I turn to her, finding her startling blue eyes intent on me. “He saved me on a few occasions, and I owe him one. Maybe you think it’s stupid, but I promised him I’d never mess with his sister.”

Raking my fingers through my hair, I continue, “My track record with women isn’t good. You know that. I’ve told you in our letters. To be honest, until you, I’d never thought I’d want to commit to someone—not just sex, but emotions and all. I still don’t know if I can do it or if I’ll screw it up, because shit runs in my family when it comes to love.”

My gaze trails down to her fingers, which are tugging at her shirt, plucking at a loose thread, unraveling it, pulling at it some more.

I let myself have this next moment and grab her hand, hearing her soft intake of breath and feeling electricity sizzling through me.

Induction—my Nova and me.

No. Not your Nova.

“I don’t want to risk my friendship with him. I don’t want to break my vow.” I grip her hand tightly. “And…I don’t want to ultimately hurt you.”

The thickness in the air is stifling.

“Are you breaking up with me before we really start?” My heart clenches at the rawness in her voice. “Just because you’re too afraid to tell my brother how you feel and too chicken to givethis,” she shakes our interlinked hands, “a try?”

I drag my gaze up to hers, finding her eyes now blazing with fury, her face flushed, nostrils flaring.

She’s a warrior bracing for a battle.

Glorious. She’s fucking glorious. She needs someone who can jump in headfirst, someone who knows how to have relationships and be in love. Not someone who still has his training wheels on.

Like me.

“I… Fuck. I can’t answer you!”

Lexy pulls the latch and shoves the door open, a burst of cold air infiltrating the car. She gets out and spins around, her eyes fierce. “Well, I won’t make the choice for you. I won’t beg you either, because I’mfuckingunforgettable, Ethan Anderson. When you get your head out of your ass, you can come find me!”