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The best years of my life.

I wanted to tell her I was her Polaris, and I never forgot the girl who was afraid of being forgettable.

But then I’d think about her guardedness whenever I approached her. The fact I couldn’t tell her why I wanted to hold her and kiss her without revealing our past, which would disqualify her from the medical trial.

Twenty-five.

Throwing myself into another lap, my lungs burn and eyes water,but I persist.

I should end our pen pal relationship. I should recuse myself. It’s a betrayal of her trust in the pen pal program.

But I can’t.

Damn it. I’m not strong enough. If this is the only way I can have a small piece of her, then I’m a selfish bastard.

A fire sparks in my chest and desperation grips me. I throw myself harder into my strokes, my form erratic as I attack the water like it’s my enemy.

I can’t tell her anything. Her medical trial. I can’t tell her anything.

Recreating our past isn’t working.Nothingis working.

I tell myself to stay strong for her. Lexy is trying so hard to reclaim her life.

But deep down, there’s a fear that works better than any reminder.

What if, after everything, she still doesn’t remember?

Even after I tell her the truth.

What if her love for you is just like her memories, lost and gone forever?

A roar shreds my throat as I come up for air. I slam my hands onto the concrete edge and heave in desperate gulps of air.

“Damn. Someone looks pissed off enough to burn the world.”

Leather shoes appear in my vision and I look up, finding Rex frowning, dark circles telling me he slept little last night.

I swipe the water from my face and hoist myself out of the pool. “What are you doing here? It’s before six. Shouldn’t you be asleep? If it weren’t for work, you’d probably roll out of bed at noon.”

Grabbing a towel, I walk toward the showers.

“I’m here to give you a heads-up, D. The cavalry is on its way to drag you to the club for breakfast in half an hour.”

“What’s this, an intervention?”

“It’s something all right. Actually, Elias texted me yesterday to gather everyone, and if The Kent says something is wrong with you, then something is wrong.”

“The Kent?” I snort. I’m sure the king of the underground appreciates a nickname that sounds like a hotel name.

“What? I wanted to call him Hades, but he shot that down.”

Hades.The Greek god of the underworld. Lexy loves Greek myths.

Fuck.

“You guys have too much time on your hands.” I take a fresh towel from the attendant and head toward a private spa shower in the back.

“Half hour, Ethan. Don’t make me come down and find you!” Rex hollers at my back.