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What would you do if you loved someone desperately, but they didn’t love you back?

What if you weren’t who they thought you were all along?

What if these emails meant more to you than they ever did to them?

Would you feel betrayed?

Would I lose you again?

Yours,

Polaris

P.S. To answer your question—Idowant to meet you. More than anything. But I can’t.

Maybe you’d call me a coward. Maybe you’d say, “Be brave, Polaris. Don’t wait to live, because the clock keeps ticking.”

And you’d be right.

But it’s not you. It’s me. And I’m sorry.

My lungs tighten, squeezing until I’m no longer breathing. I reread his words, understanding nothing, and yet grasping everything he isn’t saying.

He doesn’t want to meet, but he desperately wants to meet.

I reread it for the third time when suddenly, my eyes sharpen on his words.

In particular, one small line tacked at the very end.

Maybe you’d say,“Be brave, Polaris. Don’t wait to live, because the clock keeps ticking.”

My heart stops.

It can’t be.

But there’s no other explanation. I remember every single email I’ve sent him and I’veneverincluded this motto in my messages before.

There’s only one man I’ve mentioned this to in the past.

The man who looked like I gutted him when I woke up from my coma and asked him who he was.

The man whose eyes flashed with hurt and betrayal when he saw Dayton kissing my hand earlier.

Ethan.

Chapter 46

Quickening my steps, Ibrush past guests strolling down the quiet hallway. My heart restarts, its rhythm frantic, joining the desperate yearning in my gut.

I need to find Ethan to tell him he misunderstood what he saw on the deck.

I need to ask him why he’s Polaris and why he’s never revealed his identity.

I need to know if the woman from his emails, the person he loved, who broke his heart…if that person was me.

My breathing is in loud, rapid pants, and I lift my silk gown and rush to the end of the corridor where the library is.

Moments later, I stand in front of the large oak door, my fingers twitching, my pulse throbbing. Slowly, I turn the knob and step inside.