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When she begged for more.

Almost a decade of celibacy caused my mind to snap.

It wasn’t right of me and I’m ashamed.

But damn if I’ll admit that to her older brother.

“That being said, I thought this was overdue. Since your almost trip to Tibet a year ago, you’ve been acting strange. I recognize all the signs of an Anderson in trouble. Unfortunately.”

Elias clasps his hands in front of his lap and stares expectantly at me.

“Since Elias brought it up, I’ve always wondered.” Charles taps his fingers on the table, his blond hair gleaming like a crown on his head. “Whenever you mentioned Firefly in the past…it’s always been in present tense. Even when I’ve given up hope.”

He heaves out a heavy exhale. “Of all people, I should’ve held out hope for her. I’m her brother.” His voice is thick, and he looks at me. “But you never gave up, Ethan. Why?”

The tie cinches my neck and I struggle to breathe. My face heats, and I stride to the towering windows and look at Central Park sprawled far below. “It doesn’t matter, does it? She’s awake now. I’m sure she doesn’t blame you.”

“I know she doesn’t. Lexy’s that type of person, but that isn’t my question. If what I suspect is true, why are you standing here looking so miserable? Why aren’t you doing something about it? If this is about my blessing, you damn well have it. Is this about Liam?”

I think about my best friend and the oath I swore to him about not touching his sister. Deep down, things have changed. Years have gone by and his concerns about me—breaking women’s hearts and whatnot—aren’t relevant anymore. I haven’t been in the scandal rags with any woman for the past nine years.

I know Liam would be okay if I told him. He’d probably punch me in the face first for sneaking around his back, but he’d come around.

“She doesn’t remember anything, Charles.”

“And you can’t force her to love you.” A hand clasps my shoulder.

Maxwell.

People often told me I resembled my oldest brother the most, and I didn’t notice it until now, when he’s staring at me with understanding in his eyes.

His jaw clenches, then releases, his gaze trailing to the gloomy scenery outside.

“It’s miserable to hold everything inside yourself, Ethan. I, of all people, know that. Don’t do this. You owe it to yourself.”

“Her medical trial, Maxwell. I can’t jeopardize that. I’ve tried reminding her of things she liked before, phrases we used to say. But she’d shrivel up in pain. I don’t want to cause her pain.”

“That’s a dilemma, isn’t it?”

Suddenly, a shadow appears in the reflection.

Elias murmurs, “Not everyone has a chance to make the woman he loves fall in love with him all over again.”

Make her fall for me…again.

“Forget the past and look forward, don’t you think?”

What if Nova and her north star belong in the past—a past only I remember?

The crushing loneliness of being the only one who carries this secret. A love story born between towering shelves in a hidden library, sparked by a love of words and poetry.

But…what ifIforget the past?

What if I make her fall for me again?

Chapter 38

I tap my feeton the floor, unable to stop my nervous fidgeting.