Page 144

And I swim, on my own, for the very first time.

Chapter 45

“Don’t feel like partyinginside?”

Dayton strides up beside me, a champagne flute in his hand. Somewhere inside the ballroom on the Delfina, a luxury cruise owned by Fleur, a string quartet plays a melancholic rendition of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.”

“No. It’s too noisy.”

I stare at the gloomy darkness of the Hudson, listening to the waves slapping against the hull. It’s an unusually warm winter, no snow in sight, but there’s still a chill in the air. The night stretches endlessly, the city skyline blazing in the distance, but a fine mist rises from the water.

I shiver.

The peaceful waters are deceptive.

I, of all people, know how deadly it is. How it almost became my grave.

“You’re different now. The Lexy I knew would be in there partying it up with the best of them.” He motions to the double doors separating the deck and the ballroom where The Orchid’s famous Christmas Ball is in full swing.

“I suppose we all change, even if I was asleep most of the time.”

I used to be sad about how different things were—the people, the relationships, my temperament.

But in the recent months, I’ve accepted this new version of myself.

I’m happy. My feet are finally steady on the ground. Even if I have a permanent limp and many unanswered questions.

“Change is often forced upon us,” he mutters.

A crack in his voice draws my attention. His jaw clenches as he stares into the waters.

“Is everything okay, Dayton? You seem stressed.”

His troubled expression clears, and he shakes his head. “It’s fine. Just problems at work. Remember back in high school, I always wanted to make it? But now that I’m here, I realize things were much simpler back then.”

He gives me his signature grin and nods toward the river, his fingers tapping the railing. “I’m honestly surprised you came tonight. I thought you’d want to avoid it, since it’s on a cruise in…”

The place where I almost lost my life.I don’t need him to finish the sentence to know what he’s referring to.

A strange unease wraps itself around my lungs, and I grip the railing tightly. “Can’t live my life in fear. And you know what? I’m slowly getting over it. Some memories are coming back too.”

The tapping stops. “Really? That’s amazing. Can you make sense of anything yet?”

“I-I don’t think my car accident was an accident.” I’ve never voiced my concern aloud until now, but it’s been bothering me, the strange snippets I hear, the images.

The bloodcurdling terror.

“Shit.” Dayton’s nostrils flare and brows pinch. “That must be scary. Are you sure?”

I shake my head. “Maybe? It’s like getting a few puzzle pieces at a time, and I don’t know how they fit together yet. Maybe when I have them all, the picture will be something unexpected. I wish there’s a way to find the Good Samaritan who saved me. Maybe he or she knows something.”

My fingers twitch, my mind going through the flashes of that night.

I heard screaming in a loud place. Moaning—but they didn’t sound like pleasurable noises, more like torture.

My lungs burning as I ran. But where?

Then the images of me driving, the pouring rain making it impossible to see what’s in front of me.