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"It is real hair," Tony replied, his lips curling into a smile. "Your hair."

"What?"

"Do you remember when Jillian took you to her hairdresser two months ago? I was in cahoots with him. He saved every strand of your hair that he cut and gave it to me and I had this done."

"Really?" I was impressed.

The doll was dressed in a dress much like the one I had worn to the first school dance. Everything on it was authentic, even the tiny gold bracelet and the tiny gold locket, an exact replica of the one Troy had given me.

"If you look behind that locket with a magnifying glass, you'll see it says, 'Love, Tony." "

I turned it over and saw the wee words. How precious, I thought.

Everything about the doll was beautiful. Of course, her body was still much more developed than mine, but 1 remembered what Momma had said about Tony's combining the two of us.

I admired the detail work in the fingers and hands and had to turn my own palms over to compare. He had carved the same lines in the doll's palms. I wanted to undress it, and look for other things, but I didn't want to do that in front of him.

"It's beautiful, Tony, and a work of art, just as you said it would be."

"I'm glad you like it. I have copies being made for the window displays, of course, but this is the original and it's yours forever. Happy birthday, Leigh," he said leaning down to kiss me. I turned my cheek, but he kissed me quickly on the lips.

"Well now," he said standing. "I have some things to do in the office. See you later."

"Thank you, Tony." I held the doll in my arms as he left. Then I went quickly into my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I looked at the doll's body and breathed a sigh of relief. Although the bosom was vivid and there was even that little birthmark that was under my breast, he had done what I had asked about the genitals.

I smoothed down the dress and went off to show it to Momma.

"Oh, it's so beautiful, Leigh!" she exclaimed turning it around and around in her hands. "But I just knew it would be. Tony was so determined. It will be the hit of the Christmas season--portrait dolls by Tatterton. I so like the ring of that, don't you?

"Someday, I might just have him make one of me," she said and sighed. "Although I could never sit still as long as you did. I just don't have that kind of patience. He'll just have to do it from memory or photographs. Once I lose this excess weight, --that is. Don't you think that's a good idea, Leigh?"

"Yes, Momma," I said and left her dreaming about photo sessions.

I set the doll beside me on my bed and stared into its eyes. They twinkled as if she were truly alive and knew some deep secrets, perhaps the secret of my future.

"How I wish you could talk as well as look beautiful. Then you could be my guardian angel."

What a good name for the doll, I thought, Angel.

"That's what I'll call you from now on," I told her. I thought her smile widened, but of course, it was only my wild imagination fed by my hopes and dreams.

What a wonderful birthday this was turning out to be. If only Daddy were home and not married again with another family . . .

It was as if he heard me across the country. The phone rang and it was he, calling from San Francisco.

"I wanted to be sure to get you, Princess," he said. "I have an early departure tomorrow. My present will arrive in the morning. I hope you like it. Mildred picked it out," he added. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore those last words.

"Where are you going this time, Daddy?" I asked, unable to hide the critical and unhappy tone in my voice.

"We're developing a cruise to the Hawaiian Islands. There's a real market for such a thing on the West Coast. Mildred did a great deal of research on it. She's becoming of inestimable worth. Oh, Mildred says 'Happy Birthday." "

"Tell her 'thank you.' When will you return?" I asked, thinking about our tentative plans to spend the Christmas holidays together.

"Not for months, I'm afraid. There's the establishment of offices, work with travel agents and hotel chains, the hiring of employees. But as soon as I return, I'll plan another holiday for all of us. Are you having a birthday party?"

"Yes, Daddy." I was about to say, "I wish you could come," but I held back. Why wish for something that could never come true?

"Well, next year, I will be there for your birthday. That's a promise be able to keep because Mildred has decided we should plan our calendar a year in advance. Everything all right?" he asked, when I didn't respond.