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I ripped it off the door and tore it up.

Jennifer went to her bed to sit down and mourn, but the moment she did, she jumped with a scream,

"What?"

"Look!"

Our beds were soaked. It smelled like they had scooped water out of the toilets and thrown it over them.

"Ugh," Jennifer said. She started to get sick and ran for the bathroom.

When I had told her I didn't understand men, I had made a gross understatement. I didn't understand anybody, men or women. Cruelness, selfishness, jealousy, evil in many forms, festered like a blister under everyone's heart, probably even my own. Right now I wished I could punish each and every one of the "special club" by sticking needles and pins in them.

I started to strip off the bedding. We would have to turn over the mattresses.

Jennifer came out of the bathroom, tears streaming down her cheeks. I smiled.

"How can you be happy after this?" she asked.

"I'm not thinking about this. I'm thinking about Joshua John Bennington's hazel-green eyes," I replied. She stared at me in amazement for a moment and then she smiled too. And then we both laughed.

We laughed so loud and hysterically that some of the other girls came out of their rooms to see what was happening.

"IT'S NOTHING," I screamed in the hallway, "WE JUST HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME

TONIGHT."

Doors slammed down the corridor.

Jennifer and I looked at each other and laughed again. We laughed so hard and so long, we were too tired to make our beds properly and fell asleep on the unmade mattresses, our feet still moving to the music, our eyes still full of the ballroom lights.

The school year was different for us without our being part of the "special club." Some of them, like Wendy and Carla, couldn't help but be friendly again, even though we were never invited to any of their parties and meetings. It didn't matter as much as we feared it would because we were so involved with William and Joshua.

Every weekend I remained at Winterhaven, the four of us managed to get together to do something, even if it was just to study in the library. We went to movies and to restaurants and took walks on the docks. The weekends I had to go home, Joshua called me twice a day.

I told Momma about him, but she didn't seem very interested. She was very upset about herself because she couldn't lose four pounds no matter whose new diet she followed. She had even hired a dietician to help Rye prepare foods--something he didn't appreciate--but when that didn't bring about the results Momma wanted as quickly as she wanted them, she fired her.

Tony was very busy because his business was growing in so many ways. When I asked about the portrait doll, he said it was nearly ready, but he had decided to hold off showing it until the Christmas season, deciding it would be a wonderful new item for their stores. My mother told me that he was secretly keeping the doll from me until my birthday.

Troy's allergies improved and Tony hired a fulltime tutor for him because he was so precocious. He was sure to be skipped along when he finally did enter grade school since he was already reading and writing.

One weekend early in October, I caught Momma in one of her better moods. She had been to a dinner party at which an editor from Vogue attended and told her she was beautiful enough to be a cover girl. He was even going to send a photographer around to take some sample shots to show. While she was in such high spirits, I asked her if I could have a birthday party and invite Jennifer, William and Joshua, as well as a few other girls we had become friendly with since being ostracized by the "special club." She agreed and even took charge of the arrangements. My birthday would be on a Monday, but we decided to have the party on the Sunday before.

That Saturday night Tony took my mother and me to dinner for our private celebration. Troy was permitted to go along. We had a wonderful time. Tony had arranged beforehand for the restaurant to make a special birthday cake for me, and the chef himself brought it out. The waiters and waitresses gathered around our table and sang "Happy Birthday." Momma and Tony kissed me and then little Troy gave me a present, one he was proud of because he had picked it out himself. It was a gold locket. He had put his picture in it, too. On the back he had the jeweler inscribe "For my sister, Leigh."

"Oh, how sweet," I said hugging him. "I love this, Troy. I'll try to wear it always," I told him and he looked so proud but dignified in his sports jacket and tie.

Later that night, not more than an hour after we had returned from the restaurant, I heard a knock on my outer door. It was Tony. He stood there holding a package wrapped in pink and blue paper.

"I wanted to do this privately," he explained, his blue eyes capturing my own and holding them for a long moment. "It's too special for us to share it with anyone at first."

"Thank you, Tony." I took the package from him and sat on the settee to unwrap it while he stood by, his hands behind his back, watching me. My fingers were clumsy because I was

so excited. I didn't let on that I knew what was in the box, for Momma had already given it away.

I lifted the lid and looked down at my portrait doll. I thought it was truly a work of art, the doll's face so like my own it was as if I were looking into a mirror that miniaturized whoever gazed upon it. The expression on the doll's face was lovely, an exquisite smile, its eyes so bright and lifelike, I had the eerie feeling it could speak to me.

"Its hair feels so real," I said in a whisper.