Page 58
We’ve only a few tents between us, so we’ll have to pack the girls and lads tightly, but at least no one will be freezing at night.
We dust the snow off a few fallen logs and use them as makeshift chairs. Jadine passes out a rationed meal of hardtack and jerky to all. I eat mine quietly while the crew converses among themselves.
“Well, shit,” Kearan says.
“Could have been a lot worse,” Dimella says. “We made it to land without losing another soul. That’s no small miracle.”
“Yeah, but we walked into the same trap that all the ships before us did.”
“No one could have seen that coming.”
Alosa would have, I think to myself. She would have the moment she saw the sunken ships. Not when she was practically to shore and unable to save her vessel.
Enwen’s off in a corner, shoveling at the snow.
“You digging a latrine?” Dimella asks him.
Enwen looks between her and the hole. “… Yes.”
Kearan shakes his head. “He’s looking for gold.”
The two laugh. Laugh! How can they laugh when I’ve sunk our ship and stranded us on this frozen wasteland? I may keep a strong face and act capable, but I’ve never felt more confused and out of my depth.
I want to kill something.
Taydyn approaches our group. “I’d like to set some traps outside of camp. See if we can catch some food to add to what we salvaged from the ship. If we cook during the daytime, the fire will be less visible.”
I nod. “Enwen, go help him.”
Enwen hands his shovel to one of the girls before scurrying off with Taydyn through the brush.
Roslyn scoots closer to me for warmth, and I throw my arm over her.
“You haven’t said much, Captain,” she says. “Are you all right?”
Everyone within hearing range of her comment looks at me.
“I’m fine.”
This time, it might not be true, though.
“We’ll have an early start tomorrow,” I say to the group. “You best all turn in.”
I may be a captain without a ship, but the crew heeds my orders, piling themselves into the tents. Roslyn follows the remaining gunwomen into one, eager for the promise of warmth.
Only one person stays behind outside. One man. The one I knew would wait.
Kearan.
How’s that for learning his new patterns?
He always sees through me. I may have said I’m fine, but he knows that’s not true. He means to talk, hopes to get me to open up yet again. I brace myself for what he’ll say to me.It’s not your fault. There’s nothing youcouldhavedone.Nooneblamesyou.You’reagoodcaptain.He’ll try to make me feel better but only infuriate me instead. I begin to ready my argument.
He says, “Get over it.”
I expel a small breath of surprise. “What?”
“Get over it. You messed up. Now move on. Think about your next move.”
We dust the snow off a few fallen logs and use them as makeshift chairs. Jadine passes out a rationed meal of hardtack and jerky to all. I eat mine quietly while the crew converses among themselves.
“Well, shit,” Kearan says.
“Could have been a lot worse,” Dimella says. “We made it to land without losing another soul. That’s no small miracle.”
“Yeah, but we walked into the same trap that all the ships before us did.”
“No one could have seen that coming.”
Alosa would have, I think to myself. She would have the moment she saw the sunken ships. Not when she was practically to shore and unable to save her vessel.
Enwen’s off in a corner, shoveling at the snow.
“You digging a latrine?” Dimella asks him.
Enwen looks between her and the hole. “… Yes.”
Kearan shakes his head. “He’s looking for gold.”
The two laugh. Laugh! How can they laugh when I’ve sunk our ship and stranded us on this frozen wasteland? I may keep a strong face and act capable, but I’ve never felt more confused and out of my depth.
I want to kill something.
Taydyn approaches our group. “I’d like to set some traps outside of camp. See if we can catch some food to add to what we salvaged from the ship. If we cook during the daytime, the fire will be less visible.”
I nod. “Enwen, go help him.”
Enwen hands his shovel to one of the girls before scurrying off with Taydyn through the brush.
Roslyn scoots closer to me for warmth, and I throw my arm over her.
“You haven’t said much, Captain,” she says. “Are you all right?”
Everyone within hearing range of her comment looks at me.
“I’m fine.”
This time, it might not be true, though.
“We’ll have an early start tomorrow,” I say to the group. “You best all turn in.”
I may be a captain without a ship, but the crew heeds my orders, piling themselves into the tents. Roslyn follows the remaining gunwomen into one, eager for the promise of warmth.
Only one person stays behind outside. One man. The one I knew would wait.
Kearan.
How’s that for learning his new patterns?
He always sees through me. I may have said I’m fine, but he knows that’s not true. He means to talk, hopes to get me to open up yet again. I brace myself for what he’ll say to me.It’s not your fault. There’s nothing youcouldhavedone.Nooneblamesyou.You’reagoodcaptain.He’ll try to make me feel better but only infuriate me instead. I begin to ready my argument.
He says, “Get over it.”
I expel a small breath of surprise. “What?”
“Get over it. You messed up. Now move on. Think about your next move.”
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