Page 31
“No. Grown-ups don’t cry.”
“Oh, yes, we do.”
“What do you have to cry about? Sorinda actually wants you here.”
At that, Kearan laughs. “No, she doesn’t. I’m here because Alosa wants me here.”
“Then at least somebody wants you here. Nobody wants me.” A little sob makes her shoulders shake.
“That’s not true, and you know it. You know why you’re not allowed to be here.”
“If you’re trying to make me feel better, you’re bad at it. Go away.”
There’s a beat of silence, and then Kearan says, “I miss my mother. It’s okay if you miss your father, even if you want to be here.”
Roslyn cries harder, but this time, she wraps her arms around Kearan, and he pulls her to his side, completely enveloping her in his arms.
“How did you know?” she asks.
“I was once a little boy away from home.”
She sniffles. “I miss him, but I also want to be here. How come I have to feel both things at the same time?”
“That’s just life. You can feel joy and pain at the same time, just like you can want to be here and be somewhere else at the same time. But it’s okay. You get to have your little adventure on the sea, and then we’ll get you headed back to your papa once we reach the Seventeen Isles.”
She rubs at her eyes. “That’s just it. I don’t want to leave. I wish Papa could be here with me on this adventure. I’ve never been sailing without him before. But he’s different now. He doesn’t know how to enjoy being with me on the open ocean anymore. And nobody understands that. Everyone thinks I almost lost my life when I was shot, but the truth is, Ididlose it. No more pirating. No more adventures. No more sailing. I say I’m bored and angry, and that’s true. But even more true is the fact that I’m sad. I miss my life and my old papa.”
Most of Roslyn’s tears fade into Kearan’s clothing from where he still holds her.
“It’s okay to be sad,” he says. “And you don’t need to hide being sad ever. If it’s okay, I’d like to stay here while you be sad. You can squeeze me as tightly as you want and get my shirt as wet as you want. I won’t go anywhere.”
She nods against his chest as more tears fall, and I find myself backing away.
This is what I find Kearan doing when he’s not on duty? Comforting a child?
Damn him.
Damn him to the stars and back.
FIRSTTHINGTHENEXTmorning, I rouse Roslyn from her bunk before the day crew even rises to prepare for their shifts.
Her sleepy eyes widen when she sees me hovering over her bunk. “What is it? We can’t have reached the Seventeen Isles yet!”
“Shh. No. Grab your dagger and meet me on deck.”
The weather is a bit chillier than it was yesterday. We’re slowly making the transition from the tropics to more temperate climates the farther north we go. The cooler air feels nice in my lungs, and I take a deep breath.
Roslyn’s changed her clothes and slid on her knife holster by the time she reaches me. She looks thoroughly confused when she notes that it’s just the two of us at the fore of the ship.
“Don’t be seen or heard,” I say.
Her face turns downcast as she says, “For the rest of the trip, you mean?”
“It’s the first rule of being an assassin.”
It takes her a moment, but her eyes widen, and her smile comes out in full force. “Don’t be seen or heard,” she repeats.
“Take out your knife and walk around the deck. Learn which floorboards creak. Follow the pirates on board without them knowing you’re there. Learn to place yourself in shadows and little nooks.”
“Oh, yes, we do.”
“What do you have to cry about? Sorinda actually wants you here.”
At that, Kearan laughs. “No, she doesn’t. I’m here because Alosa wants me here.”
“Then at least somebody wants you here. Nobody wants me.” A little sob makes her shoulders shake.
“That’s not true, and you know it. You know why you’re not allowed to be here.”
“If you’re trying to make me feel better, you’re bad at it. Go away.”
There’s a beat of silence, and then Kearan says, “I miss my mother. It’s okay if you miss your father, even if you want to be here.”
Roslyn cries harder, but this time, she wraps her arms around Kearan, and he pulls her to his side, completely enveloping her in his arms.
“How did you know?” she asks.
“I was once a little boy away from home.”
She sniffles. “I miss him, but I also want to be here. How come I have to feel both things at the same time?”
“That’s just life. You can feel joy and pain at the same time, just like you can want to be here and be somewhere else at the same time. But it’s okay. You get to have your little adventure on the sea, and then we’ll get you headed back to your papa once we reach the Seventeen Isles.”
She rubs at her eyes. “That’s just it. I don’t want to leave. I wish Papa could be here with me on this adventure. I’ve never been sailing without him before. But he’s different now. He doesn’t know how to enjoy being with me on the open ocean anymore. And nobody understands that. Everyone thinks I almost lost my life when I was shot, but the truth is, Ididlose it. No more pirating. No more adventures. No more sailing. I say I’m bored and angry, and that’s true. But even more true is the fact that I’m sad. I miss my life and my old papa.”
Most of Roslyn’s tears fade into Kearan’s clothing from where he still holds her.
“It’s okay to be sad,” he says. “And you don’t need to hide being sad ever. If it’s okay, I’d like to stay here while you be sad. You can squeeze me as tightly as you want and get my shirt as wet as you want. I won’t go anywhere.”
She nods against his chest as more tears fall, and I find myself backing away.
This is what I find Kearan doing when he’s not on duty? Comforting a child?
Damn him.
Damn him to the stars and back.
FIRSTTHINGTHENEXTmorning, I rouse Roslyn from her bunk before the day crew even rises to prepare for their shifts.
Her sleepy eyes widen when she sees me hovering over her bunk. “What is it? We can’t have reached the Seventeen Isles yet!”
“Shh. No. Grab your dagger and meet me on deck.”
The weather is a bit chillier than it was yesterday. We’re slowly making the transition from the tropics to more temperate climates the farther north we go. The cooler air feels nice in my lungs, and I take a deep breath.
Roslyn’s changed her clothes and slid on her knife holster by the time she reaches me. She looks thoroughly confused when she notes that it’s just the two of us at the fore of the ship.
“Don’t be seen or heard,” I say.
Her face turns downcast as she says, “For the rest of the trip, you mean?”
“It’s the first rule of being an assassin.”
It takes her a moment, but her eyes widen, and her smile comes out in full force. “Don’t be seen or heard,” she repeats.
“Take out your knife and walk around the deck. Learn which floorboards creak. Follow the pirates on board without them knowing you’re there. Learn to place yourself in shadows and little nooks.”
Table of Contents
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