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Alosa’s faith in me is emboldening, but I wish she would order me to do as she sees fit. Instead, she’s leaving the choice up to me. What if I make the wrong one? Alosa didn’t lie when she said I would make mistakes. I’ve made at least four, and they have names: Cyara, Unesta, Rorun, Lerick. But Alosa’s lost sailors, too, and she’s kept going.

I know I have to do the same.

We can save more than we’ve lost, but even if we lost half the crew, we still need to fight for those who need our help. It’s what we do. We give our lives for our fellow crewmembers. It’s what being a pirate under Queen Alosa means.

I hate this responsibility, but I also can’t leave those girls to whatever fate befell them.

We keep going.

Chapter 10

WE SWITCH BACK TOa daytime schedule, with most of the crew alert when the sun is out.

Not that the sun makes much of a difference these days. The air is so cold I can see my breath in front of me. I keep the hood of my warm jacket over my ears and regularly have to cover my nose with my hands. Any burnable debris from the fight was stored belowdecks to dry out. We’ve plenty to burn to keep everyone warm below. But taking shifts on the deck is hard.

The floating ice gets bigger and bigger, until we have icebergs bigger than the ship. They slow us down considerably, as we have to alter course to avoid hitting anything.

“I didn’t know it could get this cold,” Kearan says with his hands firmly on the helm. He has thick gloves encasing his fingers. I can’t imagine how cold the wood must be to the touch. I’m surprised the ocean isn’t frozen solid yet.

“Talking is hard,” Enwen says in response. “Whoever thought talking would be hard? It’s as if I don’t want to risk that little breath of heat leaving my body.”

“And yet you’re still speaking.”

“I do it for you, Kearan.”

“Lucky me. How do you feel, Captain?” Kearan asks.

“Cold.” The question is stupid, so I give a stupid answer.

“That all? You know you can tell us if there’s anything else.”

Enwen blows heat into his glove-covered hands. “Yeah, Captain. Kearan’s a good listener. He can go hours without saying a single word.”

Dimella is a little ball of furs beside us, but she perks up at those words. “That’s because he’s probably fallen asleep, Enwen.”

Enwen looks at me out of the corner of his eye while shushing Dimella.

“Don’t you shush me.”

“Sorry, Miss Dimella, but I’m trying to encourage a conversation here, and you’re ruining it.”

“I don’t follow.”

Enwen mouths the wordsepic romanceto Dimella, but she doesn’t catch them. I immediately look at Kearan and relax when I realize he’s not paying a wink of attention to Enwen.

“Miss Dimella, why don’t you come show me the starboard side of the ship?” Enwen asks.

“What?”

“I think we should leave the aftercastle and go on a stroll.”

“Why?”

“You’re useless,” Enwen says to her before storming off. “Excuse me? Sailor, you get back here.”

She takes off after him to give him a tongue-lashing, but it doesn’t matter. Enwen’s plan worked, and I’m now left alone at the helm with Kearan.

“I’ve been saying it for years,” Kearan says. “Enwen is mad.”