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“Do we know what it is?” Enwen asks, interrupting my thoughts. He’s sorting through pieces of broken ship for anything that can be salvaged.

“Who cares what it’s called?” Dimella asks. “You just thank the stars we don’t have them back home.”

“Them? You think there could be more out there?”

“No,” she says quickly. “Something that big in these waters? Its hunting ground would need to be massive. If there’re more of them, they’re far away, where they can find other food.”

“I’m going to have nightmares for weeks,” Enwen says. “I’m staring right at the creature, and I still can’t believe it existed.”

“I can’t wrap my mind around how smart it was,” Dimella offers. “Attacking only at night. Going for one sailor at a time when no one was looking.”

“Not as smart as the captain, though,” Philoria says from where she’s putting a cannon back to rights. “We killed it good and proper. Too bad it’s too large to bring a trophy home. No one will ever believe what we saw.”

“The queen will believe us,” Dimella says.

“Yeah, but everyone else will think we embellished its size.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I say. “Four people are dead. That’s what matters. You honored them by killing what killed them.”

Philoria looks guiltily at the cannon as she keeps cleaning. “Sorry, Captain.”

“You did well today.”

“As did you,” Dimella says to me. “I thought for sure the anchor would be the death of us, but it bought us time. Quick thinking, Captain.”

I can’t say anything in response. Four people are dead. I shouldn’t be praised for anything.

AFTER HOURS SPENT HELPINGwith cleanup, I make my rounds. I check in with each individual aboard the ship, asking how they fare and if there’s anything they need. Everyone puts on a tough face for me, pretending as though they are unaffected. I can’t really blame them since I’m doing the same thing.

For many of them, this is their first true mission under the pirate queen. They don’t want to let her down. Everyone is ready to give their all.

I praise them for their bravery and skill. I try to say the things I think Alosa would say. I can only hope I’m not making anything worse. I know that people skills are not one of my strengths.

For the millionth time, I wonder why Alosa thought I could do this.

When the ship is in a less hazardous state, we clean ourselves up, heating water at the kitchen stove and wiping ourselves down as best we can. Jadine said she could have her kitchen girls pour me a bath in my quarters, but I opted out. Those girls have done enough work for the day. Everyone has. I wipe myself down with soapy rags like everyone else.

When I enter my rooms early the next morning, I’m startled to find that Kearan never left. He’s standing right where I saw him last, staring at nothing in particular in the corner. Dried tearstains cover his cheeks before disappearing into his short beard. His face is red, like when he used to drink, though I know he hasn’t touched a drop since he quit.

I realize now that I’ve checked on the well-being of every member of the crew except one person.

“Sorry, Captain,” Kearan says when I enter. He moves to leave.

“Wait.”

He halts in place but doesn’t turn around.

I find my courage. “How are you?”

“You don’t have to do this with me.”

“I asked you a question, sailor.”

He turns. “I feel like shit, Captain. There’s nothing I want more than a drink or five. Don’t suppose you could have Jadine lock up the rum tonight for me?”

“You have more self-control than that.”

“Right now I don’t think I do.”