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“I don’t like that it was you who made me see I shouldn’t be so hard on myself,” I say. “Alosa tried to tell me. Mandsy and Niridia both tried. But I never told them the full story. I don’t think Icouldbelieve it until someone knew the whole truth of it. I don’t like that it was finally you. A man. I don’t need a man to prove anything to me.”

He takes some time to process that. “The thing is that you love Alosa and those girls you fought with. Their good opinions mean the world to you. I was expendable. My good opinion wasn’t something you wanted. You lost nothing by telling me.”

“No, instead I gained everything, including a desire for you to think well of me.”

And more importantly, a reason to think well of myself.

“It’s all right to need a little help sometimes,” he says. “You must realize that you helped me long before I helped you. Or have you forgotten? If anything, I owed you one.”

The drinking. I was what made him finally stop and take back his life.

Ihadforgotten. I’d been too caught up in accepting so much from him. But I saved him just as much as he ever saved me.

That’s what a partnership looks like.

That’s whatlovelooks like.

That word still makes me uncomfortable. I can’t say that I’m ready for it yet. But I am ready to see where this goes. To try. To open myself to someone who will not think less of me for being me.

“Almost forgot,” Kearan says. He goes to the floor where I discarded his coat before climbing into the bath. He reaches into one of the many pockets and pulls out the last thing I’d expected to see.

It’s the tricorne he gifted me our first day at sea.

“How did you …?”

“I snagged it beforeVengeancewent down. I hoped you might accept it eventually.”

“Where have you been keeping it all this time?”

“Close to my heart.”

The answer is ridiculous, but I adore it anyway. He reaches his hand out and puts the tricorne on my head. It gets caught on my ponytail, so I undo it and regather my hair closer to my neck.

“I like you,” I say, even though the words are as sharp to my consciousness as any blade is to my body.

“I like you more,” he says.

“That may have been true once. I don’t think so anymore.”

“No?”

I step closer, so we’re sharing the same breath.

“No.”

And I finally take the kiss I want.

Or rather, we share it.

Chapter 26

IT’S NOT AT ALLlike the last few times.

Then I was changed by the panaceum or weakened with an injury or high off the thrill of victory and covered in blood.

But now? Now I’m fully myself.

And he kisses me in the way a pirate assassin ought to be kissed.