Page 99
Story: These Shattered Memories
“I will,” I tell him softly. “Thank you.”
We linger for a moment, the quiet stretching between us. Finally, I force myself to move, opening the door.
“Goodnight, Rowan,” I say over my shoulder.
Before I can go, his hand catches my arm, pulling me back. His palm settles at the nape of my neck, and he presses a kiss to the top of my head. It’s so tender, so uncharacteristically Rowan, that something inside me crumbles. The warmth of him seeps into me, easing the tension inside me.
“I’ll be here when you’re ready,” he murmurs. “Goodnight, Lexie.”
The knot in my throat tightens, but I don’t look back as I head up the steps to my building, fighting back the tears that threaten to fall.
Inside, the apartment feels colder than usual. I pause at the threshold, assessing the damage from two nights ago. Thebroken glass is still on the floor, my blanket lying haphazardly over my couch and the candle now burnt out on the table.
I don’t think, I get to work cleaning it all up, trying to distract myself from my own thoughts. I bleach the entire place, mixing fumes that probably shouldn’t be mixed until I’m dizzy, and my apartment is spotless again.
When I’m done, I go to stand under the hot spray of water in my shower, my wounds stinging, but distracting me from the thoughts that threaten to break me.
I see Kane in that basement—broken, resigned. I want to be angry. Ishouldbe angry. But all I feel is this hollow space where my best friend used to be. His question races through my mind again.
You belong to The Snake now?
I didn’t answer him because I don’t know the answer myself. Belonging to The Snake … It sounds wrong. Itfeelswrong. But the truth is, Rowan came for me when no one else did. He saved me when Kane, the one person I thought would always have my back, left me to die.
Rowan.
I sink to the floor of the shower, letting the water hit me. Everything circles back to him. The way he looked at me tonight, steady and sure made me feel safer than I’ve ever felt before. Not even with Halle when we were in Canning.
And being with him—letting myself feel whatever this is—inevitably means aligning myself with The Snake. RowanisThe Snake. I know I’ll never be one of them and I don’t want to be, but I want to give into Rowan. I want to be with him. The thought makes my stomach twist because it means I’m crossing a line I can’t uncross.
I groan loudly, pressing the heels of my palms into my eyes. Rowan is not a saviour. He is not good either, but Kane was right about one thing, there is no good in Senna. The clans, TheJudiciary, the police, everyone is chasing what they want with no regard for anyone else.
Maybe it’s time I chase something I want too.
When I leave the shower and get dressed, the phone Rowan gave me buzzes on my bed, the screen lighting up with a name that makes my chest tighten.
It’s him.
I stare at it for a long moment, my thumb hovering over the screen before I press answer.
“Hey,” I say softly.
“Hey, Lexie,” he says. “I wanted to check on you.”
I swallow. My heart skipping a beat. “Thanks,” I say, “I’m okay.”
There’s a beat of silence on the other end then, “It’s fine if you aren’t.”
I sigh. “I can’t stop thinking about what Kane said.”
“About belonging to The Snake?” he asks, like he can read my mind.
“Yeah,” I say.
Another pause. Longer this time. “If you belong to The Snake, then The Snake belongs you, Alex. Every piece of it. Every man, every woman. Including me.”
My breath catches, the words sinking into me slowly. He says it so easily, like it’s a simple truth. “Rowan,” I start, unsure where I’m going with it because what do I say to that? He’s just pledged the most powerful clan in Senna to me.
“Get some rest,” he says. “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
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