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“Are you going to share that reason?” Hayden asks.

“No,” I say honestly.

I don’t think he would appreciate me telling them about Halle, but it leaves me doubly curious as to who is threatening him with those emails. Is it another player? Moreau? Someone in the police force? We’re missing something and I know I have to talk to him without us descending into some sort of argument to figure it out.

“You know I hate to agree with Xander, but he’s right,” Hayden says. “You can’t trust him.Idon’t trust him.”

Hayden looks at me squarely and I know he won’t budge. They aren’t being unreasonable. They have no reason to trust Alex, and right now, there isn’t much I can do to convince them. For a second, I wish I held some sort of power over them, a way to convince them that this is the only way, but I don’t, and I wouldn’t want to, anyway. They are my brothers, not some lowly associates to be ordered around.

“Fine,” I say. “Call me when you come up with another way to do this. I’ll continue trying to get to the bottom of this.”

Xander regards me closely. “Is the baby throwing a tantrum?”

“Get fucked, Xan.”

I play right into his hand because he smirks. “Oh, I plan to.”

I let out a loud breath and stand. Frustration clawing at me. Our mother gave me one chance and I’m about to blow it.

“Make sure Key is somewhat alive tomorrow. I’ll need to speak with him.”

Hayden lifts his eyebrow. “And where are you going now?”

“Where do you think?” Xander snorts.

“Rowan don’t…” but I don’t hear the rest. My eyes search the lounge for Chelsea, who is in a corner booth, laughing with a guy I’m positive is a famous actor with a few awards to his name and a proclivity for young blonde women with big tits.

She meets my eyes and stands to walk towards me. “Everything okay?” she asks when she stops.

“I don’t think we should see each other anymore,” I tell her.

She lifts her eyebrows but there is no hint of hurt in her eyes, only surprise at the abruptness. “Someone else?”

Begrudgingly, I nod. “Something like that.”

She smiles. She’s a great girl and I know she’ll figure it out, eventually. “That sucks, but thanks for letting me know.” She shrugs. “Good luck with it.”

That’s Chelsea. Easy and straight forward. Why can’t more people be like her.

“Thanks. You too.”

When I start driving, I don’t need my GPS to tell me where I’m going.

The light coming from Alex’s apartment lets me know he’s home. Tonight, his window is shut, meaning I won’t get the satisfaction of scaring him again. For a second, I consider turning my car around and driving back home or maybe to Blue Lily, but I don’t.

I can’t be a coward.

I don’t know what it is about Alex, but from the moment I met him, I’ve had this carnal desire for him, and I can’t suppress it anymore.

I am wholly aware that I shouldn’t try and satisfy that need—it’s impossible to do so, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try. It’s why I stood completely still, knowing full well what he was up to and who he was. It’s why I’m knocking on his door now, even when I know this is a terrible idea because eventually one of us will betray the other and this time it will get bloody.

The door swings open and I’m met by a mussed haired Alex wearing an old college t-shirt and shorts, but it’s not the clothes that catch my attention; it’s the puffiness of his eyes and the red around them.

He’s been crying.

An unfamiliar feeling settles inside me.

Guilt, I realise.