Page 103
Story: These Shattered Memories
“I’ve been trying to give you space,” I say, my voice quieter now. “But I needed to check on you.”
His eyes soften. “I’m fine,” he says, but there’s a tremor in his voice. Then he lets out an uneven laugh that tells me he’s lying.
“You don’t have to pretend to be fine,” I tell him, stepping closer to him. “Not with me.”
He stares at me for a long moment, his jaw working like he’s trying to find the right words. Then he exhales, the sound heavy.
“I’ve just been thinking about what all of this means.” He swallows. “I mean whatwemean. When we were together before, as much as we both know we loved each other, it was based on a lot of lies and a lot of lust. This is all so new, and I don’t know if…” trails.
I wait for him to continue, trying my best not to panic.
“I want you, Rowan, but I’m terrified of it. Everything with Kane and Haze, it’s so messy and yet, you feel safe. You feel good even when something in the back of my mind is telling me I shouldn’t feel that way. That I should be running in the opposite direction.”
I’m everything but good. I don’t know where I fit into Alex’s world, or if I even deserve to. But I do know one thing. I’ll protect him with everything I have. I’ll fight off every demon, doubt and worry he has until he can just be himself—the most formidable man I know.
“You’re right,” I tell him. “We didn’t have the best start but think about those quiet moments. The cherry sour runs at three in the morning, the feel of your hand in mine as we walked along the river. All of those things were just us, nothing else. You and me. That’s what I want us to be.”
His lips twitch, curving into the faintest smile, but a smile, nonetheless. Moisture dances in his eyes and my vision blurs, too.
“I want that too, but do you think this ends well for us?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “But I can’t let you go again. I can’t make that mistake again.”
For a moment, Alex just stands there, looking at me carefully, then without a word, he steps closer, coming to wrap his arms over my shoulders.
“So, we’re doing this?” he asks.
I nod. “I honestly don’t think we ever truly stopped. I’ve been obsessed with you from the moment I laid my eyes on you.”
His tiny smile spreads into a grin. “Smooth.”
I shrug. “You know me.”
“I missed you,” he whispers.
“I missed you too,” I say.
For the first time in days, it feels like I can breathe again and this time, I don’t think. I just reach out, brushing my fingers along his jaw. His skin is warm, his stubble rough under my fingertips.
He leans into my touch, his eyes half-lidded as his lips part slightly. It’s like gravity takes over, pulling us closer together until there is no space between us.
“Alex,” I whisper, his name heavy on my tongue. “Tell me to stop.”
His gaze drops to my mouth, and he shakes his head. “Don’t,” he says, his voice barely more than a breath.
That’s all the permission I need.
My lips brush against his. It’s soft at first, tentative, like we’re testing the waters. But then Alex lets out a quiet sigh, his hand curling around the back of my neck, and suddenly, it’s like a dam breaks.
I kiss him deeper, my hand sliding to his waist. He responds with just as much urgency, his fingers tangling in my hair. The taste of him floods my senses—mint and something distinctly Alex—and I’m completely undone.
My fingers brush the hem of his hoodie, and the soft fabric is nothing compared to the heat of his skin beneath when his body rubs against mine, warm and solid, and for the first time in what feels like forever, the rest of the world falls away. It’s just him. Just us.
When we finally pull apart, both of us are breathing hard, our foreheads resting against each other. His eyes flutter open, andthe way he’s looking at me—like I’m something worth holding onto—makes my chest ache in a way I didn’t know was possible.
“I missed you,” I say, my voice rough.
He laughs quietly, his breath ghosting over my lips. “You already said that.”
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