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For a moment, silence stretches between us, heavy and charged. Then Alex tilts his head, his voice almost hollow. “Is that all?”

No. It’s not. There’s something else—a desire clawing at the edges of my control. Something I’ve buried for years, only for itto surge back to life the moment I saw him again. It’s reckless, dangerous, and ultimately undeniable.

I run a hand through my hair, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I meant it when I said I’m sorry—for this morning, for everything before. You were right. You didn’t have a choice, and I didn’t make it any easier for you. I didn’t make you feel safe when I should have.”

Alex’s brow furrows. “Rowan—”

“No, let me finish,” I cut him off, the words tumbling out before I can stop them. “I knew who you were, Alex. I knew from the start, and I still pursued you. I was a moth to your flame, and I just couldn’t help myself even when I knew you’d eventually burn me. That night, you said you loved me; I wanted to say it back. God, I wanted to. But I couldn’t.” My voice falters, the weight of the confession pressing down on me. “I couldn’t give up The Snake. I let you go because I thought I had to. But now…”

His eyes flicker. “Now what?” he asks softly.

“Now, I don’t know what I want anymore.”

The admission leaves me raw, exposed in a way I haven’t been in years. I’ve always been sure of what I want. From the moment I was born, I relentlessly pursued the crown, that was until I tasted something far sweeter.

Alex’s eyes meet mine, and for a moment, I see something there—hope, maybe.

“I should have told you that you were safe with me,” I whisper. “That I loved you too, even when I told myself I didn’t.”

His breath hitches, his voice trembling. “You loved me?”

I nod once, unable to find the right words.

“But you said you didn’t.”

“Think about it, Alex. If I didn’t love you and I knew who you were all along, then why wouldn’t I get rid of you? You asked me yourself why I didn’t kill you. It’s because I couldn’t. I couldnever hurt you. Not like that, anyway. It’s taken me a long time to realise it, but that’s the truth.”

“You loved me back…” he says it quietly, more to himself than anything.

“I did,” I say. I think I still do, I don’t add.

“How do I know you aren’t lying to me? That this isn’t some sick game you’re playing?”

I suppose that’s fair. It is something I would do, so I decide to tell him the full fucked up truth of my desire for him.

“I’m not lying to you. I have been obsessed with you since I met you. You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about coming up here in the middle of the night and fucking you whilst you’re half asleep just so you can never forget me. I toured your building just so I could know what your apartment looks like inside. I’ve slept in my car for days, just watching your apartment. I want to know every single detail about you because not knowing where you are or what you’re thinking at all times makes me feel sick.”

His lips part, his chest rising and falling in shallow breaths. The truth hangs heavy between us, undeniable and irreversible.

“You’ve been watching me,” he says finally, his voice laced with disbelief. “For how long?”

I used to watch him in those first few months only because I was terrified of what Xander or Hayden might do. Then it became an all-consuming obsession I had to quell with other activities that include lots of alcohol and lots of naked bodies.

Meticulous and obsessive. Half Hayden. Half Xander.

“I started again after Canning,” I confess.

“Started again?” he asks, voice rising slightly.

I try not to laugh, but it’s difficult not to. He looks horrified.

“No matter how hard I’ve tried to move on, it’s always been you, Alex. I can’t think straight without you somewhere in my mind.”

“You can’t—”

“You belong to me,” I say, invading his space again. “You’ve never stopped belonging to me.”

His lips part, eyes widening for only a second before he quickly recovers. I don’t give myself time to question it. I want this and judging from the tattoo that sits on his ribcage, he wants me too.