Page 20
Story: These Shattered Memories
It’s a quick dismissal and I watch Rowan’s jaw work, clearly not used to being dismissed like he’s not important. Trist wavesa careless hand, and a man dressed in a three-piece suit appears in front of us.
Rowan’s lips break into that easy smile. You’d think he’s the one walking away with a win here. “It was nice meeting you, too. I’m sure we’ll see each other very soon.”
Trist looks up at us when we stand, his mouth now set in a line. “Remember what I said,” he warns. “You tell Moreau, then I tell everyone you were here tonight. We both lose.”
Rowan’s smile is tight. “My lips are sealed,” he says and then we’re out of there, but not before I see Avni watching us as we leave, her eyes still trying to tell me something I can’t decipher.
When we make it out into the alleyway that smells of fish and piss, my ears are ringing, and my skin is still too warm where Rowan touched me. I’m not sure what I’m angry about exactly, but words are flying out of me before I can stop and sift through them first.
“Don’t ever call me that again,” I say through gritted teeth.
“What are you talking about?” He frowns, a look of genuine confusion all over his face.
I fling my arms, pointing to the now closed metal door of Spirito. Goosebumps trail my skin, and a cloud of warm air escapes my mouth when I speak. “In there! With Trist.” I know I’m being unreasonable, but I’m exhausted. This was a huge waste of time, and I’m worried about what Avni could tell Trist.
Rowan tilts his head, the shadows from the light above dancing on his face. “You’re mad because I called you a plaything?” he asks, like I’m a five-year-old who is failing to understand something basic. “What did you want me to call you, exactly? Detective Alexander Kimura from Senna’s prestigious Organised Crime Unit, the very same people who investigate guys like Trist every day? I’m sure he would have loved that as he put a bullet through your chest.”
The way he says it makes me feel like a chastised child, but I can’t back down now. He was being purposefully patronizing in there and we both know it. “You could have said anything else.”
He laughs once, then looks at me, eyes widening. “Oh,” he says, “Oh, did I hurt your feelings, Alex?”
Rage burns through me, a roaring fire in a furnace that he keeps feeding petrol. I shouldn’t let him get to me, but Rowan Vasilyev can get under anyone’s skin without even trying.
“What the fuck is your problem?”
“My problem?” he repeats with an incredulous laugh. His eyes meet mine and they hold the same fire that burns through me, unbridled and wild. We’re on the precipice of something I don’t think I want to uncover, something I’m not ready to talk about.
Not yet, I think, not before I save Halle.
I look away, clenching and unclenching my jaw, but he’s speaking before I can think of a way to not have this conversation.
“What’s wrong with being a plaything, Lexie?” he asks.
I shiver at the nickname. It takes me back to a time I’d rather not go back to. It’s quiet laughter, clutched hands and empty promises. It’s three words whispered in the dark from my lips—words he refused to say back.
“Rowan, let’s not…” I start, my voice losing all of its venom, but it’s too late.
He takes a step forward, nostrils flaring, but I don’t back away. “But aren’t you good at pretending you’re something that you’re not? I thought you could do what you’ve always done. What’s so wrong about that?”
My stomach is churning. He will keep pushing, keep torturing me with the past until he’s satisfied. I probably deserve it, but isn’t it punishment enough knowing I never meant anything to him?
God, I’ve been so stupid.
“This isn’t working,” I say finally. “I’m calling it off.”
His eyes widen for a moment, but he quickly recovers. “We both know you need me,” he says lowly.
He’s right. I do need him, but I’m terrified I’ll go insane before I can make any progress. If I don’t go insane, he’ll kill me instead and either way, Halle will end up in prison.
“Maybe everyone is right. Maybe you shouldn’t become The Head of The Snake,” I say quietly. “Because it’s been two years and you’re still unbelievably full of yourself.” It’s my final blow. The only fuel I have left in my tank.
It lands but only for a split second because Rowan is quicker than everyone else, including me.
He hums, a wry smile on his lips. “And yet you constantly used to beg to be full of me.”
I grit my teeth and turn on my heel, walking away from him because if I stay here, I might punch him or cry, or both.
I’m too exhausted to do either of those.
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