Page 51
Story: These Shattered Memories
“Are we going to talk about what happened?” he asks finally, still looking at the glass.
I try my best to look dumb. “What happened?”
“You breaking into my apartment and threatening to kill me?” he says confidently. “Which, by the way, I didn’t think you’d do; you know?”
I tilt my head. “Do what?”
“Kill me. In my apartment. I didn’t think you’d do it.” This time he meets my eyes, dark pupils dilated enough to almost cover the brown of his irises.
I can’t tell if he’s fucking with me or not.
“Why not?”
I take a sip of the whisky. It doesn’t burn, just warms my throat and then my stomach. I should feel myself relax, but all I feel is the palpable tension in the air. As if mimicking me, Alex sips on his water too, smiling when he places the glass on the counter.
“Because you didn’t kill me the first time. Your brothers, your guards, no one came for me, and I don’t think they will.”
“You underestimate my ability to hold a grudge,” I say.
He laughs, outright and openly, a soft quiet thing that makes his glossy eyes crinkle and I hate it. I hate how well he’s managed to read me. I hate that he thinks I’m a coward for failing every single time.
“So, do it,” he says finally, eyes daring me. “Kill me. You have me all alone again. You can stab me, shoot me, strangle me. It’s your pick. I’ll stand right here and let you do it.”
I stare at him for a long moment, weighing my options. He’s right. I could kill him here and no one would ever know, except maybe that guy from the bar, but he’d be an unreliable witness. Maybe this is really my chance.
I place my glass back on the counter and walk around the island to stand in front of him. Alex follows me with his eyes,swallowing as he backs up against the wood and marble of the island. I stop in front of him, and we’re only a few inches apart, an arm’s length between us. I can see every inch of him, every mark, every eyelash, his cupid’s bow and that beauty mark that sits at the right corner of his bottom lip.
He’s agonisingly beautiful.
“Is that what you want?” I ask.
He swallows. “If it means I don’t have to keep feeling like this.”
As soon as he says it, he takes in a sharp breath, like he’s just said something he shouldn’t have.
Is he also feeling as exhausted as I do? Maybe it should be comforting, but all it does is piss me off because why is he exhausted? We’re here because of him.
Before I can stop myself, I take another step forward and my hand travels to the base of his throat. His skin is warm and flushed from the alcohol, his pulse racing against my palm. He swallows, the only hint of his nervousness under that drink-inspired bravado.
All I have to do is tighten my grip and watch the life drain out of him.
I want to do it so badly.
“Why did you get the tattoo?” I ask finally.
I need him to tell me it’s because he wanted to remember the day he got everything he wanted—a rising star in Senna’s OCU. I need him to tell me that I was naïve, that he enjoyed doing it. I need him to say it so we can end this for good.
His lips part, a quiet breath leaving his mouth. My palm burns, his quickening pulse racing on my skin.
“I wanted to remember you.” It’s so quiet that for a moment I think I heard wrong, but then, he says it again, “I wanted to remember you—us. Isn’t that sad?” He smiles weakly. “I said Iloved you that night and you never said it back, but I still got a tattoo just so I could remember how it felt to be with you.”
The words take too long to sink in. They soak inside me slowly, until they are the only thing I can think of. Those words and that tattoo. My own heart races in my chest as I watch his eyes gloss over with moisture. Suddenly, it’s like he burns, and I have to let him go. I withdraw my hand, leaving a faint red impression on his neck.
“You’re lying,” I hear myself say. It’s all I can come up with. All I can allow myself to think.
Alex huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. “Of course, you think I’m lying.”
He makes a move to slip past me, but I hold his elbow before he can, slamming him back against the edge of the island and words are tumbling out of my mouth before I can stop them.
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