Page 33

Sal

“Where are we?” I asked in a small voice as Briar pulled into a clearing in the woods.

“A place I like to go to clear my head,” Briar said, taking the key out. “Are you coming?”

I didn’t answer as he got out of the car. After a moment, I followed. I grabbed my shoulder, moving behind him.

Briar had barely gotten out of his house slippers and was still in PJs. His long hair was a mess, but somehow it looked so good. His shoulders filled the long sleeve shirt, sleeves rolled just below his elbows. He was wearing fleece pajama pants and his sneakers. He hunched just a bit while he walked, making him look a bit shorter, even though he was still taller than me.

I followed in silence until the sound of rushing water filled my ears. After a moment, we were met with a small creek and waterfall. I stepped next to Briar, eyes wandering over the beautiful area.

“I came here a lot when my dad… was drunk. It was peaceful… Don’t ruin it for me.” He explained.

I scoffed. “Aren’t I just great at ruining shit? The Academy. Spectre. Your friend group.”

“We are not ruined. Don’t be dramatic.”

I rolled my eyes. “You have no idea what I’m going through. It’s just a mechanical arm to you guys. Dead weight. But it’s… more. I feel normal with it. And now it’s gone until I get a new one.”

“It won’t be long at all, Psalm.”

“So, I let everyone see me like this?” I snapped. “Ugly, one-armed? Why do you think I hid this shit? For fun?”

Briar’s eyes scanned my face, brows softening. “You think… you’re ugly because you have one arm?”

I sighed, slowly sitting on a boulder. “You hear it so many times you believe it… I was grateful… he didn’t touch me anymore, but why did it hurt more to be ignored.”

Silence stilled in the air.

“Fuck,” I ran my fingers over my curls. “Just ignore me.”

“How can I? You were a kid and whatever happened wasn’t your fault.”

I scoffed. “Stop it.”

“I’m serious.”

“Whatever.”

“You’re so stupidly gorgeous it hurts.”

My eyes snapped to his.

He was looking down at me, lips parted. “Arm or not, that doesn’t take away from you. You’re beautiful, and you’re smart and annoyingly funny and witty. You are more than what he told you you were.”

My eyes blinked as hot tears filled him. “I don’t feel it… I just… I was the outcast. No one wanted to be around me because I was always punished. I was always the pretty girl they wanted until I lost my arm. I was a child, and it wasn’t my fault, but why do I think like this? Basing my beauty on my sexiness or on my arm? I’m fucked up, aren’t I? Thinking like that as a kid. Why was I good enough?”

“Fuck. I want to kill him.”

I looked down as Briar moved to me, sitting before me.

His hands brushed my tears away. “I think fucked up too. Don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with it, but your mindset needs to change. None of us care that you have one arm, Psalm. I would still fuck you the same way, just maybe different positions.”

“What?” A smirk curled on my lips.

“What?” He deadpanned.

“Repeat what you just said.”