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“Feeling better this morning?”

Coffee touches my mouth so I don’t have to answer. It’s bitter, as coffee tends to be, but somehow Ira remembered that I like sugar and a hint of cream. She must have heard me tell Annie during those two weeks we worked together.

“I feel better with this coffee, thanks.”

Ira’s lips curl together, and she leans back against the headboard. The one she had me handcuffed to only a few hours ago. “You had a rough night.”

“Thanks for the reminder.”

“I’m serious. You wanna talk about it?”

What in the world is this? Of course, Ira would be the one who wants to “talk” in the morning. But she’s a Domme, as I have to constantly remind myself. A very good one, because Dommes know how important it is to keep communication open.

I don’t know why she cares about it, though. Not like we’re doing that again.

“Do I have a choice?” The coffee is on the other nightstand. I snuggle into her bed.

Likewise, she curls up next to me. Did she brush her teeth? I don’t smell any morning breath. Mine must be a disaster after last night.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, but it would be a good idea.”

“I know, I know…”

“Babe… can I call you that?”

My eyes narrow. “I guess. Only here.”

“I get it. You’re not used to subbing, and not in the wide-eyed virgin way. I did my best to make you comfortable, but I clearly failed in the end. That’s on me. I’m sorry.”

One part of me yearns to reach out and take her into my arms. Or at least to feel my cheek against her warm chest. Last night, she held me for as long as I could remember, her body wrapped with mine and her hot breath blanketing the back of my neck until I finally fell asleep, tear tracks still on my face.

I feel my eyes. They’re so full of gunk that it’s amazing I can even see.

“You didn’t fail. Like I told you last night, I wasn’t ready for that, even though I thought I was. I should be apologizing for how I reacted. I’m sure that wasn’t pleasant.”

“No, but it was genuine. I should have read you better. But I admit, I’m not used to being with a woman coming from your point of view.”

“Oh, I’m sure. All your subs are either into it already or coming from the most vanilla background possible.” I realize how that sounds. “Sorry. No offense.”

“Why would I be offended? Katie, I want you to be open and honest with me. Even if we never do this again, I don’t want you to think back on this time like that. Or you know, if we see each other outside of here. Like for work.”

I should tell her that she has nothing to worry about. I can handle myself. I’m not going to be triggered seeing her later.

I want to say that, but I can’t.

“You want me to be honest? Fine. I freaked out because what my body wants and what my mind wants are two different things. I don’t pretend to understand it, but there you go. That’s why you couldn’t read me fast enough. My body was telling you to go for it while my mind panicked at the last minute. I can’t control it, like you can’t control yourself when it comes to me, apparently.”

“At least you understand.”

“I’m serious, Ira. That’s what happened.”

She puts her hand on my arm. I tense. “I believe you. Now, do you want my honesty?”

Not really, but I don’t stop her.

“I think you’re a proud but scared woman. I don’t say that to insult you. Far from it. I won’t pretend I know exactly what you’re going through at any given moment. But…” She pushes some of my tangled hair out of my eyes. Her fingertips feel so… liberating. I hate it. “I think you can overcome the uncertainty in your mind. You don’t have to compromise who you are with me. Katie, the whole point of being with me is to reveal who you really are. It doesn’t have to be the most submissive kitten in the world. It can be a Domme who takes a day or two out of her month to completely let go of control and indulge in what her soul yearns for.”

“You’ll see me differently.” The same thing I said last night after my panic attack.