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It’s utterly perfect.
This man. I pull out my phone.
Me
Thank you for the pancakes. That was oddly sweet of you.
Phoenix
Maybe they’re poisoned.
Given my mental state, I don’t react like other sane people would by putting the plate down due to the very high possibility of Phoenix telling the truth. Instead, I laugh, not hesitating for even a second before I get a bite on my fork and put it into my mouth, pushing it past the lump in my throat.
They’re sweet and fluffy and utterly delicious.
Eating this transports me back to a time when life was still good.
Where I had dreams and hopes and where my life was my own.
“What do you want to be when you grow up, Angie?” Connie steals one of the chocolate chips from my plate and pops it into her mouth.
“A world-famous piano player who travels around the globe.” Pointing my fork at her, I wink. “What do you want to be when you grow up, Connie?”
“I want to be the CFO in Dad’s company. You know, because I love numbers.”
We giggle, like every time we play this game. I think it’s silly that my ten-year-old sister wants to sit in a stuffy office all day long like our dad, but she says that’s what she wants to do. Better her than me. I’d suffocate in days.
“You’ll be magnificent on stage, Angie. Simplymagnificent. And I’ll sit in the front row at every concert, telling everyone you’re my sister.”
My dream died alongside her, and my parents couldn’t have been happier about that.
And I thought I was done for good, that I was too broken to play ever again.
But despite everything that happened last night, I can’t regret placing my fingers on those keys and letting go.
One problem (possibly) solved, two more to go.
Phoenix and Freddy.
One first, then the other.
Chapter 17
Evangeline
The next day goes by similarly. A text message from Phoenix asking me how I’m doing, another special animal face pancake—an owl this time—and more relaxing in front of the TV.
Holden and I thought it would be a fun idea to try and binge-watch all seasons ofLuciferthis week, so we’ll see if we succeed. It’s definitely fun to just relax and not stress about school or anything else for a little while.
Although I’m constantly distracted by Phoenix’s text messages. After our morning exchange, I asked him how house hunting is going, so most of the messages are now business related. There are a lot of real estate listings, but it’s a side of him I haven’t been privy to, and I strangely enjoy these back-and-forths.
Phoenix
What do you think about this building? It’s bigger than the last one, and I think we could push the emergency shelter to 30 beds instead of just 20.
One thing became clear really soon. Phoenix thinks big. He’s been telling me about all of these ideas he has for the teens, not just until they age out of the system at eighteen, but also beyond that. He doesn’t just want to provide them with a safe place to stay and a warm meal in their stomach, he wants to make a lasting difference in their lives. He wants to teach them things that’ll allow them to alter their futures in ways they might never be able to otherwise. It’s admirable, and witnessing this side of him makes me want to talk to him a whole lot more. To learn more about him and this project, about his visions. I want to learn everything there is about him.
Which is why I don’t hold back, asking questions and offering solutions and ideas. Weirdly enough, I’m not mad about it. It makes me feel useful to help with something that matters and to share my experience from the women’s shelter and what I’ve learned from Doreen over the years.