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Phantom pain pierces my heart, like every time thoughts of the night he broke my heart infiltrate my mind. First, he gave me my treasured compass necklace, and then he told me there was no place for someone like me in his life. How many times have I replayed that day? That night? And how things would have turned out if they had ended differently. Without him breaking my heart. Without me making a bunch of terrible decisions.
But I know I need to let go of that because things happened the way they did, and heedless of how many times I revisit the past and wish I could alter it, I can’t.
Why is it sometimes so much easier to focus on the wrongdoings of the past than the possibilities of the future?
Ask him.
Ask him how things are going to continue between you.
Tell him how you want things to continue.
I’m catapulted back into the present, taking in the scene before me.
“Do you like it?” Phoenix studies me.
The setup is straight out of a fairy tale, with flowers and candles everywhere and soft music playing over hidden speakers. Now, all I need to figure out is whether this fairy tale will have a happily ever after or not.
“It’s absolutely beautiful.” I point at the pool and chuckle. “And these look so much better than mine did.”
He lifts a shoulder. “Yours were perfect, just like you.”
I gasp at his words just as my stomach growls, and he smirks at the sound.
“Let’s feed your angry monster.”
He pulls a chair out for me at the table and pushes it in when I’m ready. Then, he works on uncovering the dishes with a boyish grin. “What do you want first?”
All my favorite food from this week is laid out in front of me like a silent offering, and hope flares to life once more in my chest.
We both try some of everything, though I’d happily eat grilled pineapple for the rest of the evening.
Phoenix finishes first, watching me while I spoon the last bit of tiramisu out of my bowl.
He chuckles. “I don’t think there’s anything left in there.”
I eye the leftovers in his bowl, but my stomach squeezes, and I reluctantly put my bowl and spoon down with a sigh. “That was delicious, thank you.”
“Anything for you.”
He sounds so genuine, his words surround me like a soft caress.
I know I shouldn’t stare at him in an open invitation to ask me questions when I’m still not sure I want to know the answers to them. But I can’t.
“Why did you agree to marry me?” His voice is even, but something in his gaze betrays his composure.
Chapter 35
Phoenix
She swallows, letting out a reluctant sigh like she knew this would come up eventually. “Becausehetold me to.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Honestly? I just didn’t want to think about him.” She pulls at the hem of her skirt. “At the beginning, it didn’t really matter anyway. Unless I wanted to risk someone getting hurt or worse, I was stuck in the engagement. And then so much happened, and things . . . things changed, and all I wanted to do was forget about my messed-up life and pretend everything’s okay.”
I nod, unsure of what to say.
Did she want to forget about us too?