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I bite the inside of my cheek in response to hearing it. “I couldn’t.”
“You’ve been living with this secret, with this sorrow, all this time. I wish I would have known.”
The torment in his eyes is almost too much, spearing me straight through the heart.
“I killed your fiancée and what I thought was your baby.”
“Fuck.” He exhales harshly, then closes the distance between us to wrap his arms around me. “Everything could have gone so differently. I was so confused, so hurt and angry, when I found out you were the one who called the police. I didn’t understand why you hated me that much.”
I’m pressed against his chest, and it’s easier to talk when I don’t have to see him. “I’ve never hated you, Phoenix. Not for a single day in my life, and trust me, I’ve tried.”
I expect him to pull back, but he doesn’t, allowing me to stay in this warm cocoon.
After a moment of silence, he says, “You know, there was a time when I was hoping you’d hate me.”
I repeat his words in my head, but they don’t make sense. “Youwantedme to hate you?”
“Not really, but I didn’t want to drag you into my messed-up world, so I kept telling myself if you hated me, at least you would take yourself out of this equation and move on.”
“What equation?”
“The equation of you and me, Angel. The inevitability of us. I was trying so hard to stay away from you because I knew it would be better for you. It would allow you to follow your dreams and travel the world, enchanting millions of people with your music. I didn’t want you to be stuck with me and the consequences of what it means to be the heir of Montgomery Enterprises. I never wanted that life for you.”
My breath gets stuck in my chest.
I didn’t imagine it.
He’d wanted me too.
I thought there would never be a future with Phoenix and tried to make peace with that, especially once he and Connie announced their engagement and she told me about the baby. I thought I’d dealt with it properly, healed as much as I could. I didn’t expect this excruciating pain behind my rib cage at his admission, or that the loss of what could have been would threaten to tear me apart.
During this conversation, I’ve allowed myself to share a piece of my burden and secrets with another person for the first time. I never expected we’d end up here. With a heart I thought had healed enough to survive.
But I was wrong, so very wrong.
Now, I’m left with old wounds that have reopened to the point I’m not sure they’ll ever fully close again.
Chapter 26
Phoenix
We’ve been in some kind of limbo since our conversation last week, and I still can’t get the image of Eve sobbing in my arms out of my head. She was clinging to my shirt like her life depended on it, and I was so relieved when her breathing finally evened out. She cried herself to sleep, utterly exhausted from the emotional hurricane our secrets had unleashed.
Maybe there were too many secrets.
Maybe they broke her.
MaybeIbroke her.
Even though she tries to act normal, she’s been quiet and withdrawn. Most of the time, she escapes into her schoolwork she’s slowly been catching up with, or she zones out watching TV or reading a book. We’ve also been reviewing more real estate listings together, and she’s been helping me smooth out a few more loose ends about the foundation. At first, I didn’t want her to work too much, but I quickly realized it’s one of the few times she has a spark in her eyes.
I’d gladly bleed myself dry if it spared her another secondof agony. But it doesn’t matter how much I want to, I can’t take away her pain. Instead, I stay by her side and watch her, making sure she eats enough and offering her comfort at night.
I want to be her compass, guiding her out of the darkness and back to me.
My phone vibrates on the table like a bad omen, and I glare at it. Phones have never been as ominous to me as they are now. I’m constantly waiting for a new message from whoever is behind this.
My father’s name appears on the screen, and I sigh. He’s been even more difficult to deal with since the explosion. Because how dare I almost get blown up and bring bad media to the company again?