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Conniewould have loved tonight.
She wouldn’t have had too much champagne and inappropriately kissed her fiancé, not only because of the large crowd but also because she’d have known the media would have a field day with it.
But it’s Phoenix’s fault, he kissed me first.
My sister’s fiancé, who is nowmyfiancé.
I kissed what was hers.
My lower lip trembles, and I bite it.
The room is dim but fully disappears behind my closed eyelids.
My fingers fly over the keys, acting solely on muscle memory. I try to keep it together. Try to hang on to that thin thread of sanity that has been unraveling for so long now, it’s a miracle it still exists at all.
Kissing Phoenix tonight opened up a can of worms I thought I’d had a tight lid on.
Pictures of my sister fly through my head, the last glance she sent me over her shoulder before she left the house. If I’d only known it would be the last time I’d ever see her. The things I said to her, and she wasn’t even angry at me, only disappointed and sad, which was even worse. I just wanted to understand why she was throwing away her life the way she did. I needed to understand what I ever did to her that she’d hurt me that much on purpose.
“Angie, I know it’s a surprise, but please trust me. Phoenix is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
She gives me a pleading look, silently begging me to understand, but I don’t. I can’t. I yank my hand out of her grasp and watch in horror as she places her fingers on her stomach. Sherubs it almost absentmindedly, and we both freeze. Her gaze finds mine again, but I’m already shaking my head and backing away.
“Are you—” I draw in a sharp breath. “Are you pregnant?”
She presses her lips together and nods.
My hands go into my hair, and I pull at my strands. “No, that can’t be. How . . . how long have you been seeing him behind my back?”
My voice rises with every word that comes out of my mouth until I’m yelling.
Her hand reaches for me, but I step out of her reach with an ugly snort. “I bet you had a good laugh together about your stupid little sister being in love with your fiancé. With the father of your child.”
She stares at me with tears brimming her eyes and shakes her head. “No, Angie. It’s not like that at all.”
I hold up a hand and turn away from her. “I can’t . . . please don’t. I can’t even look at you right now.”
The words ‘I hate you’ are on the tip of my tongue, but I bite them back for some reason.
She sniffles. “We’ll talk tomorrow. Let’s cool down, and I’ll explain everything tomorrow. Please.”
I stay quiet, staring at a hole in the floor while I listen to her retreating footsteps. When they stop and she calls my name, I’m compelled to glance at her, forced to see her beautiful face wholly shadowed in sorrow.
“I love you. I hope one day you can forgive me, Angie.”
She waits for another moment, but when I don’t say anything, she steps out of the door, closing it quietly.
I snap back to reality with a gasp. The pressure on my chest is so heavy, it feels like my rib cage is going to collapseat any moment. Every inch of skin tingles. All of these emotions rushing through my body. It’s too much.
They don’t have anywhere to go, so they continue to grow until it feels like I’m going to implode. I want to scratch at my skin, this need to find an outlet impossible to ignore.
I grind my teeth and breathe loudly through my nose.
What am I supposed to do?
I clench my hands into fists so hard, my fingernails dig into my palms. But it’s not enough. I stare straight ahead at the piano keys, and without taking a second to think things over, I grip the lid and slam it closed.
Thebangechoes around the room. It feels good but doesn’t keep my body from getting hotter by the second. A bead of sweat runs down my nape.