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“No! Never! The things I saw …” I try to avoid thinking about them, but it all comes rushing back. My skin is clammy, and my mouth feels like it’s stuffed with cotton.

“It wasn’t you. It was him,” she says softly.

“It was so confusing. I didn’t know what to do with those visions. Then it happened again, but this time it wasn’t Blackstone.”

“Who was it?”

“Another kid. He had a plan to escape. I saw the whole thing in his mind. In my mind. It’s hard to explain.”

“I understand what you mean.”

“Back then, I wasn’t sure if I was projecting my own desires onto the other kid. Was it his plan or mine? I didn’t know.”

“It sounds like you were in a confusing situation on every level.”

“The next day, the other kid told me his plan. He wanted me to go with him. But I was afraid. If we got caught, Blackstone would kill us. Maybe that would have been a better fate, but I wasn’t willing to die. Unlike Nitro, I’ve never had a death wish.”

“He has one?”

“Would he ride the way he does without one?” I ask.

“I suppose not.”

“Exactly. Well, the kid ran. I didn’t go. He almost made it. Almost. But … he didn’t.”

“What happened?”

“They caught him. They murdered him in the dungeon, right in front of us, so we’d never think about escaping.” I keep the details to myself because I don’t want those images in her head.

“Oh, my God.” Her hand covers her mouth. This is exactly what she needs to know about me. Once she hears the rest, she’ll forget about her supposed love for me.

“After that, I felt so fucking guilty. I thought I’d made the kid do what he did. I thought I was using my mind to control him. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but at the time, you have to remember, we hardly ever ate. We were freezing in the winter and dying of heat stroke in the summer. Every day was a battle just to survive. Thinking straight was a luxury we didn’t have.”

“I’m so sorry, Scar.” She reaches for me, but I step away. I can’t handle her comfort right now. I shouldn’t get used to it either because she’s going to leave me anyway.

“After that kid died, I wanted to die, too. It was the only time I ever thought about ending my life. Matrix knew something was up. He cornered me and made me tell him why I refused to eat that day.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him about the visions. He asked me a million questions. Good ones, too. He’s smart as hell. He realized what was happening before I did. He told me I was seeing other people’s plans. They weren’t my own. They belonged to the others. I didn’t believe him at first, but eventually, he convinced me.”

“I’m so glad he was with you. I can’t imagine the mental anguish you were in.”

“You’ll never be able to understand it. You’ll never be able to understand who I am. That’s why I can’t let you do this.”

“Do what?”

“Love me.”

“Scar, this doesn’t change anything. I still feel the way I feel. I can’t help it. I care about you more than I’ve ever—”

“Stop. Just don’t.”

She sighs heavily before looking away. “Then tell me something else. Tell me how you escaped.”

“Matrix recognized the usefulness of my ability. Since I could see other people’s plans, I could use the visions to gather information about the people at the compound. It took time, but I was able to figure out the guards’ schedules. I saw images of the area around the compound. I knew how fast we’d have to run to get to the forest for cover. I learned a lot. But ultimately, I stumbled upon the most important information of all because I could see Blackstone’s plans.”

“What did you see?” she asks in a hushed tone.