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“I bet you loved it.”

“All that sugar? No doubt.” I smile. “We didn’t have much, but we had each other. I think she tried to get off the drugs several times. She even took me with her to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting once. They let me sit in the circle and play with plastic coffee cups. I made a castle.”

She’s gazing at me with those gorgeous green eyes, wanting more of the story, so I continue. “She used to leave me with the neighbor lady when she went to work. One day, she didn’t pick me up on time. She was always there early, so it was odd. Hours went by. Then cops came to the door.”

My throat closes up. Julia lays me back against the pillow and gives me the softest, sweetest kiss. I pull her down and savor the weight of her body on top of mine.

“They said she O.D.’d in an alley behind the restaurant. She was shooting up, and it was laced with something else. I’m not really clear about the details. I was four, but I knew enough to understand she wasn’t coming home. She wouldn’t be picking me up that night. I’d never see her again because she was dead.”

She brushes moisture from my cheek. I don’t even realize my eyes are wet until she kisses my tears away. I can’t talk about this anymore. It makes my heart hurt so much that I don’t think I can stand it. I hold her close and bury my face in her hair. This is why I refuse to talk about my past. The pain is too much. It’s unbearable. She wants to know my history, but I don’t know if I can give it to her. The wounds are too deep, and even telling her this much has sapped my strength. I can’t talk about it anymore. Not tonight. All I want to do is hold her and forget about everything but how she feels in my arms.

Chapter 12: Julia

Hearing Scar’s story hurts my heart. I can’t imagine what it was like to lose the only person he could count on at such a young age. It’s unfathomable and makes me grateful for my parents. They’re both still alive. I wonder what they’d think about what I’ve done the last two days. They’d probably be horrified. They raised me to know right from wrong, but the situation with Max is far from black and white. It’s a million shades of gray, and even though what I’m doing is illegal, I think I’m doing the right thing.

“Tell me about you,” Scar says, rolling me onto my back. He lays beside me, slowly caressing the curve of my hip. “I didn’t see any tattoos.”

“I don’t have any.” I smile.

“What about boyfriends?”

“None of those either. Not recently, at least.” None that I want to talk about, anyway.

“But there have been some in the past?” His brow furrows.

“I had a steady boyfriend in high school, but we lost track of each other when we went to college. I haven’t heard from him in years.” I leave out the part about him cheating on me. I hate talking about it.

“Did you ever try to contact him?”

“No.”

“Good.”

I can’t help but smile at his response. I try not to think about past relationships, especially the ones that ended badly. Back then, I wasn’t looking for anything in particular. I still don’t know what I want. I’ve never been one of those girls who couldn’t wait to get married and have kids. After high school, I focused on finishing college. When I accomplished that, I focused on getting a job. After that, the day-to-day problems of being a nurse overtook my life. I haven’t thought about dating or romance for a long time, but it’s clearly on Scar’s mind.

“What about you?” I ask. “I’m assuming you don’t have a girlfriend since I’m naked in your bed right now, but that’s a dangerous assumption these days.”

“True, but no. I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Ever have one?” I ask.

“Not really. There’s club pussy, but that’s about it.”

“Club what?” I scrunch my nose at the distasteful way he referred to women.

“Some women are drawn to bad boys in leather vests who ride bikes. They’re like rockstar groupies with less self-esteem. They just want to fuck and drink and have a good time.”

“Oh, brother.” I roll my eyes. “If your opinion of them is so low, why keep them around?”

“I don’t keep them. Once I’m done with them, I get them out of my bed as fast as possible. Hell, most of the time, we never even make it to bed. I’ll bang them against the wall, fuck them on the floor, screw them over the back of the couch—”

“Ugh!”

“You asked. I’m just being honest.” His devilish grin takes the sting away.

“True.” I guess I did bring it on myself. “So, why haven’t you picked one of them to be your girlfriend?”

“None of them interest me.”