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“Oh, please. The cops couldn’t find their asses with a mirror. You know how seldom they find hitmen. David’s murder will be another one in a long line of cold cases by the end of the year. We’ll be lucky if they learn anything.”
“You can’t think like that.”
“I have to go,” I say, getting up.
“Can I drive you home?”
“No. Thanks, Simon. I’m fine. I want to be alone.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“I’m going to follow you home anyway. Just to be safe.”
“Thank you for telling me. I know it must have been hard for you.”
“I’m sorry I didn't tell you earlier, Ems. I know that David would have told you himself had he been given the chance.”
“Yeah.”
Simon settles the bill before we leave. I have a lot to think about, and I have a feeling I won’t be sleeping much tonight.
Dannie is still out when I get home. I’m glad. I need a bit of time to myself before I talk to her. My best friend will no doubt want to comfort me and reinforce the fact that David was a good person.
I know all of that, but I’m mad. I’m mad at my brother for keeping this from me. I’m mad that he felt that I wasn’t strong enough to hear it. But, most of all, I’m guilty because I’m angry with a dead man. How will I process this anger?
It’s hard when you’re mad with the dead. They can’t explain themselves. After anger comes guilt. Guilt because he’s dead and I’m alive.
Damn it! I need whiskey.
I’m out cold by the time Dannie comes home. I know this because when I open my eyes again, the morning sun is radiating through the slit in the drawn curtains and my head feels like it’s about to implode.
7
LUCAS
“Hi, Emily. This is a nice surprise. How are you?”
“Hello, Lucas.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Can we talk?”
“Of course. I’m listening.”
“No. I mean in person.”
“Sure. When?”
“Could you meet me at the gallery after six tonight?”
“Okay. I’ll see you later.”
“Thanks, Lucas.”
I can tell by Emily’s tone that something is wrong. I check my watch. Another four hours to go before I find out what’s bothering her. I have an awful feeling in my gut that it has something to do with David’s death. I hope she hasn’t learned the truth about me because I don’t know how to explain that to her.