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“It’s never going to be over! Don’t you get that?” I yell at him.
“Please, Emily. Don’t go.”
“I need time to think. Please don’t try to stop me. I’m begging you. Just let me go.”
Lucas is hurt. I can see that my words are stabbing at him. But I need time. I cannot stay here one more minute.
“I’ll be fine with Dannie. Besides, if Gallo is dead, there’s no reason for you to protect me anymore. Right?”
“I’ll drop you off,” he says, clearly defeated.
* * *
“Are you okay, Ems?”
“Not really. I’m a mess, Dannie. What the hell am I going to do? How did I get myself into this jam?”
“You did have help.”
“Poor David. If only he knew what he started.”
“It’s not just David. I wish Lucas would listen to reason.”
“I’m not going to make excuses for him. I'm pissed off as hell with that man. But I know he loves you very much.”
“Sometimes love just isn’t enough, Dannie.”
“Don’t say that, Ems. You’ve never been so happy as when you were with Lucas. Why do you think I didn’t call the feds on him? I could hear from the way you talked about your relationship with him that you really love him. You can’t throw in the towel now.”
“What am I supposed to do, Dannie?”
“Fight for your man. If you believe in your heart that Lucas is the man for you, then make him understand that. Don't let anything stand in the way of your happiness. Do you know what I would give to have a love like yours? I’d move heaven and earth! Don't blow it, Ems.”
“Wow. Where did you pull that bit of sage advice from? Did you do a guru’s course on happiness while I was away?” I chuckle.
“You bet your ass! All kidding aside, my friend. Make him listen.”
“Okay, I’ll do my best.”
Dannie is right. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself—wallowing in self pity even. And why? Because everyone around me is dying. Or that’s all I see. What a terrible reason to give up on living! I have to make Lucas understand that if he wants to be happy with his own little family, he must give up his false sense of security. This baby and I are his security. This is where his joy lies—with us, not in the mafia world of wealth and perceived power.
“So, are you going to call him?”
“Yes.”
* * *
“I’m so glad you called me, my love.”
Lucas is sitting across from me in the apartment I share with Dannie. He looks nervous. I can only imagine what’s going on in his head. He has a lot to lose. As do I.
“I want to talk to you about our future, Lucas.”
“I…”
“Please, let me finish. This is hard enough without interruptions.”
“Okay. Go ahead.”