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I’m so happy. But it isn’t the sort of joy that can last forever. Not if Lucas refuses to hear me out. I pray that he’ll listen to what I plan on saying to him because I refuse to put this precious new life at risk again. Once was enough.
“You look so peaceful.”
I jerk at the sudden interruption. Lucas is standing next to the tub. I open my eyes and stare at his handsome face.
“Oh, sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“I’m thinking it will be wise for the foreseeable future to not sneak up on me.”
“Got it. My bad.”
“This is arguably the best bath I’ve ever had,” I sigh, settling back into Nirvana.
“Well, you’ll be glad to know that it will be followed by the best cheeseburger you’ve ever had.”
“I can’t wait.”
I open my eyes again and stare at Lucas for a while before I speak.
“Lucas, we have to talk.”
He looks worried.
“I know about the baby,” he says.
“What? How?”
“Dannie told me. She thought I needed to know. Also, your belly is much rounder than it was when we first met, and I’m guessing it isn’t from the taco diet.”
“That would be funny if it wasn't too soon.”
“Again. Foot in mouth disease. Sorry.”
“And?”
“And, I’m incredibly happy. I cannot imagine having a child with anyone else but you, my love.”
“Really?”
“Of course! I love you, Emily. And I love our baby too.”
“But it’s so soon. We’ve only been together for a short time.”
“That doesn’t make the slightest difference to my feelings for you, my love. Don’t you know yet how I feel about you? Can;t you tell when we’re together?”
“I don't know what to think anymore, Lucas. I’m exhausted and I’m a ball of nerves at the thought of being a mom. And you…”
“What about me?”
“Lucas, you know how I feel about the life you’re in. I don;t want this for you…for us.”
“But, it’s over now, Emily.”
“For now, yes. But what about the next time? And the one after that? This isn;t the life I want for our child.”
“What are you saying, Emily?”
“I’m saying that I’m not sure we have a future together if you choose to stay in this business, Lucas. I refuse to subject our child to this kind of violence. I love you, Lucas, but I don’t know if I can do this again. No. I know I can’t. I don’t want to!”