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“I don’t understand,” I whisper. “Where is he? I want to see him.”
“Of course. I’ll take you to him in a few minutes. But first I need to ask you a few questions. Perhaps you can be of assistance.”
“No! I want to see David now!” I yell at him in anger.
“Please, Detective,” Dannie says softly to Cox, who relents, nods, and takes us to the morgue.
“I’ll leave you alone with him for a few minutes,” Cox says and nods at the mortuary attendant before he leaves.
Dannie is pale. I’ve never seen her like this.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Don't worry about me. I’m so sorry, Ems. Go. Be with David.”
My brother’s body is covered with a sheet. I can see only his head. I’m afraid to pull back the cover for fear of what I might find, but I have to. This is my brother. I must see him. I must know.
I never had the opportunity to touch my parents’ bodies after they died. The family and the doctor thought I was too young at the time. I hate the lack of closure I’ve suffered all these years. I won't make the same mistake with David.
His skin is cold to the touch. No! He can’t be dead! It’s a mistake. David isn’t dead. He’s just sleeping.
Dannie is standing behind me, against the wall. She doesn’t come any closer, but I can hear her crying softly. I suppose it’s her way of giving me some privacy so I can say goodbye.
“Open your eyes, Davy,” I whisper.
His cologne wafts into my nostrils as I place my warm cheek against his cold one. What is that smell? Is it blood? I pull the cover down slightly. That’s when I see the crimson stain across his chest where the bullets had ripped through his perfect flesh. I take in a deep gasp of air as the shock sets in.
David isn’t sleeping. My brother is dead. He’s been murdered! I have no idea where to go from here.
“Davy,” I whisper. “I’m here, Davy. I’m here.”
I take his cold hand in mine. My legs are shaky and I’m trembling all over. He’s so cold. Instinctively I wrap the sheet around his body and tuck it in on the sides, like a mother does to her child in the cold of winter.
“Please, you can’t leave me alone, David. How can I go on without you?” I whisper again.
Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I drop my head onto his cold, still chest. Dannie comes over and places her hand on my back. She’s crying as loudly now as I am and I know her pain is as real as mine.
“I can’t do this, Dannie,” I turn around and howl into her chest.
“I’m here, Ems. I’m here.”
Detective Cox is standing next to us now.
“I’m sorry, Emily, but we have to talk now.”
I don’t want to leave David’s side because I know from experience what it means. He’s not coming back. Like my parents, he’ll be gone forever. I’ll never hold him again or hear his laughter at my stupid jokes. He’ll never give me advice again or tell me he loves me.
David is dead, and he’s never coming back.
“Emily,” Cox says again, gently touching my shoulder.
“Okay,” I whisper, knowing that my time with my brother is over.
“Let’s have a chat.”
I don't know what he expects from me. If it’s answers he’s looking for, he’s barking up the wrong tree. Why David is lying on a slab in the morgue is as much a mystery to me as it is to him.
“Come with me. Can I get you a cup of coffee?” he offers.