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As always, Boones’s irreverent tone sets me on edge. Despite his almost childlike wonder, it’s like the more jovial he is, the more sadistic the next twist will be. I wonder what he’s come up with.
‘Well, I’m sure you’ve heard the rumours flying around the camp about the infiltrator in our race. The one who snuck in under the radar, with ideas above his station.’ Boones chuckles. ‘Runner 501. Thanks to your performance, I’m promoting you to the level of elite, bringing the number of elites to ten. Ten of you all competing for my grand prize. How does that sound?’
There’s a burst of applause from the crowd, a chant starting of ‘one of us’ amongst the fun runners. But I don’t raise my hands to clap.
So Matt will be joining us on the elite starting line. Unease churns in my stomach, a gnawing anxiety about who he is. I wonder if my gut knows more than I realize. It told me to get away from him. Now he’s going to be on my heels.
Boones continues. ‘Just don’t think I’m going to make things easy on you. I’d suggest y’all get some rest. Not long to go now, folks.’
The crowd disperses.
Mariam finds me as we walk back to the tent.
‘What did you think of the announcement?’ I ask her.
‘I was expecting more,’ she says, rubbing her chin.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Don’t you think everything has been a bit too easy so far? Yes, OK, the no-phones thing – but to be honest I rarely bring my phone to a race. I prefer to stay in the moment. It is not some great surprise.’
‘Don’t you worry about your kids not being able to contact you? I just feel overwhelming mum guilt, worrying that Ethan needs me.’
‘He can get hold of Pete, no?’
‘I should hope so.’
‘And you’ve left him with people you trust?’
‘Of course. With my life.’
‘Then remind yourself that good mums also need to do things for themselves. I know you say you came here searching for answers from Boones. But I think there is something else you have been seeking. The Adrienne from before. The one who chased after her passion. The one who gave herself permission to excel, who didn’t hold back. The “rock goat”. Remember her?’
‘Vaguely,’ I say, laughing. But Mariam’s words are a gut punch. It’s true. Motherhood was the excuse I used to shut the door on the running chapter of my life. When the real reason was fear.
‘You need to show Ethan this side of you too. He’d want to know it. No matter what happens here – whether you find the answers you are looking for or not – he should know this Adrienne too. And he will be proud of you.’
Her words bring tears to my eyes.
She smiles at me, continuing while I compose myself. ‘Then this other runner – OK, it’s one thing to be promoted, but he is already so far behind most of the times, I am sure he is not threatening for the money.’
‘That’s true,’ I say, not adding that he might be threatening forotherreasons.
‘Either Boones has lost his bite or there is something else still in store for us. That makes me nervous.’ We arrive back at the tent, and Mariam shakes out her sleeping bag before stepping inside. ‘If you want to stick together for the next couple of stages, I think it would be wise.’
‘Are you sure? What about Jason’s note …?’ For a moment I debate telling her about Nabil’s poisoning – and my suspicion that it was meant for me. That maybe running with me will put her in danger. Risking my own life is one thing. But putting someone else in harm’s way?
I would never forgive myself.
‘All the more reason for you not to be alone. Did you learn anything else from those pages?’
I shake my head. ‘Nothing. Just a note about Booneshounds – his obsessive fans. It made me wonderif Glenn had been one of them. It would make sense, given how intent he was on cracking the Ampersands.’
‘The best thing we can do right now is to get as much rest as possible. Be ready for anything.’
‘Of course. Goodnight.’ But though Mariam seems to drop off easily, for me it’s too difficult to quiet my racing mind.
I focus on visualizing the route ahead. Fifty long, arduous miles tomorrow. And I’ll have Matt on my tail, feverish for the win and desperate to prove something. Rupert seems to be hungry for it too, as keen as ever to make his name as the master of the Ampersand races. If he comes first, he’ll have won all three.