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‘Wait – what the detective said, it bugged me.’
Pete turns, one hand on the handle. ‘What do you mean?’
‘We cleared the family. That implies Glenn had one, don’t you think? I mean, I obviously know the ex-wife. His parents died a long time ago … Who else could they clear?’
‘I think you need to drop this.’
‘But you knew him too. Did he talk to you about other family? Kids, siblings, cousins?’
Pete, infuriatingly, just shakes his head. ‘I think moving is a good idea. Get away from all this. Leave it behind you. Because, as far as I’m concerned, Adri, if you keep stirring up trouble, then the only person who is putting our son in danger is you.’
12
Stella
We don’t hug. This is no big emotional reunion. In fact, seeing Boones brings long dormant insecurities bubbling to the surface, as I wonder what his opinion is of me now. I hate that that’s my first reaction, but he has the infuriating knack of making people yearn for his approval, even if he’s done nothing to deserve it. He sets high bars, and people strive for years to reach them. If they do, he only pushes them higher. Moves the goalposts. It’s what makes the Ampersand races so addictive. It appeals to that extreme-athlete mindset:what is possible if I’m given the chance? What am I capable of?
Dad makes a small gesture with his head – a slight tilt to ask me if I’ll come. He’s giving us a chance to talk.
When was the last time we spoke properly? Seven years ago? That had ended badly. I’m a whole new person now. With a whole new life. A fiancé. A job I love. I’ve never been able to fully escape the world of running, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to carve my own place in it. Not to be overshadowed by him.
I follow him, leaving the chaos of the bivouac for a different sort: the inside of Boones’s trailer. Almost every available surface is covered in paper – maps of the Sahara, wind and weather charts, lists of participants, medical and emergency numbers. Boxes of supplies teeter in everycorner. Bottles of water, first-aid kits, flare guns, radios – and that’s just what I take in at first glance.
His eyes dance – his version of a smile, even though his lips don’t move. To my shock it sends a thrill through me. I check myself: this is the man who chose organizing his races over a relationship with me, who wilfully endangers lives despite repeated warnings. He is not my family.
He clears his throat. ‘You look good. Happy to see you here. I wasn’t sure if you would come.’
‘I’m not here for you,’ I say, hating how petulant I sound.
‘Oh?’
‘My fiancé is one of the elite runners. Well, he was …’
‘Ah yes, Mr Wendell. He’s been dying for an invitation to one of my races.Please, Boones, it would be the honour of my life to run in an Ampersand.’ He raises an eyebrow. ‘I presume he knows who you are?’
‘What, that I’m your daughter? Of course he knows. We’re getting married; he knows everything about me.’
That makes Boones laugh, and my cheeks burn.
‘Well, he got an invite – surely you should be saying “Gee, thanks, Pa.”?’
I grit my teeth. So Dad did know about my relationship. Yet another way to manipulate me. He wanted me to be here, to witness this, but didn’t have the guts to invite me directly. Or maybe this was his way of giving me the choice. He didn’t know if I still cared. By making all this effort, I proved to him that I did.
Shit. I’ve played right into his hands.
And Pete doesn’t even get to run any more.
I blink. ‘Oh my God, Pete’s test results?’ I say, speakingmy realization out loud. It’s not really a question. I know the answer.
He doesn’t deny it. ‘It’s better this way.’
Anger flares up the back of my neck, a flash of fire. ‘That’s my fiancé you’re talking about. Do you know what this could do to his reputation in the running community to have a DNS for performance-enhancing drugs? And inviting his ex – was that for mybenefittoo?’
‘I invited those who I thought were worthy.’
‘Bullshit. You got me here, like you wanted. Tell me why I should stay, or I’m getting on the first plane home.’
‘You’ve been at the bivouac for, what, twenty-four hours? Twenty-four hours you waited to find me. You’ve seen those faces out there. You’ve heard the stories. What people are running for.Whythey’re running. Don’t you want to see them do it? Just like we used to …’