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‘I know,’ Stella replies.
‘And I don’t blame you for –’
‘Blame me? Excuse me?’
I hold up my hands. ‘No, that’s not what I meant. I know you didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t owe me anything. I know that. I get that. This is coming out all wrong. When I heard about Yasmin, I …’
A bolt of pain flashes in her eyes when I say her name, and she almost crumbles.
‘This was a bad idea,’ she mutters.
‘No, wait, Stella, please.’
She spins round on me. ‘Why did you come here? I thought you’d stopped racing for good.’
‘I wouldn’t have come, but your dad –’
‘My dad? What’s he got to do with this?’
‘On the invitation he told me to come and “find answers”. He promised to tell me something important if I finished the race. But it’s probably just a big game, right? I mean, how could he know anything about what happened that night when the police didn’t even know?’
‘The police? What are you talking about?’
‘Surely Pete must have told you. When Ethan was three, he was hit by a car. It was right after all the … well, what happened in Ibiza. He survived, and the police closed the investigation. Joyriders, they said. But I was convinced it was connected to Glenn. Your dad knows who was driving the car, and he’ll tell me if I finish the race.’
Her lips purse, but she remains quiet.
‘If you get him to tell me now, then I’ll quit the race,’ I say.
She sighs. ‘He’s not here. He’s gone to Ouarzazate to talk with Nabil’s family.’
I shake my head. ‘I still can’t believe he is dead. It doesn’t feel real.’
Stella doesn’t reply.
My shoulders slump. It’s too late. The gulf is too wide to build a bridge between us.
‘For what it’s worth, I am sorry. Yasmin deserved so much better. If I had known what she would do …’
‘Nobody could have stopped her,’ Stella says, her voice tight. Her body stiffens, and I can see the grief still buried there, so close to the surface.
I feel an old simmering rage return to boil within me. The same emotion that bubbled up when I heard thatscream seven years ago and realized what Glenn had done. He’d extinguished one of the brightest lights I’d ever known. I close my hands into fists to stop them from shaking with anger.
Stella coughs and my eyes snap back to her. She looks me up and down. ‘Don’t quit, Adri. You should run. You look strong out there. She would be proud of you.’
Then she walks away.
22
Stella
Seven years earlier
Ibiza
For the duration of the training camp every minute of Yasmin’s time is scheduled. Since the goal is to win an Ampersand race, Glenn throws in (what he considers) creative twists, like an hour-long speed-work session turning into a surprise overnight wild camping run. No one told me, so I showed up for our group dinner only to end up alone.
That ground my gears. I have to keep reminding myself I’m here for Yasmin. To support her. To take photos when she needs. When she’s off running, I’m supposed to hang at the resort. But there’s only so much lounging around a pool that I can do. I spend a lot of the time researching for our backpacking trip or entertaining myself by teasing Pete with bikini pics. He thinks I’m away on a work assignment, photographing a new luxury hotel opening.