Page 49
Story: Royal Reluctance
“Is Camille a princess? Because Odin isn’t a prince anymore,” I wonder. “Or still is a prince, but just can’t be king?”
“I have no idea about the succession laws of Laandia, butyoushould.” There’s another of those looks.
“I’ll find out soon enough,” I say weakly.
Abigail drops her voice. “What do you think will happen?”
I glance at Tema at the table. She observes more than I can ever imagine, but at least second grade subtraction seems to be distracting her from our conversation. “I have no idea,” I whisper.
“What do you want to happen?”
Abigail knows me better than anyone. I should be asking her what I want to happen because she’ll have an opinion and a pretty good idea of where my head is at.
The problem is that my head and my heart may not want the same thing.
“I don’t know that either.” I rest my head on the back of the couch. “Did I totally mess things up by coming back?”
“I think you should define mess.”
That’s a good idea. Did I mess up my perfectly happy life in Victoria by coming here? I don’t miss Timothy as much as I should, so what does that say about our relationship? And what have I done to Bo? I kept achildfrom him. Not only that, but I’m forcing him to deal with the guilt that he’s held on to about his mother’s death.
I’m forcing him to deal with me and what I want for the future. It’s not fair if I haven’t even figured it out yet.
“Last night was fun,” Abigail says when it’s obvious I’m too deep in my thoughts to respond. “It was good to see Spencer, to hang out with him and Bo again.”
This is as good a distraction as second grade subtraction. “Why did you and he never hook up back in high school?” I wonder, tucking a cushion into my lap.
“Who said we didn’t?”
My jaw drops. “Abigail! Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“There wasn’t much to tell.” She holds up three fingers. “The first time was during one of your breakups, and we met to try and figure out how to get you two back together. Second, was graduation—”
“When we crashed at Spencer’s dad’s place?”
“When he had a place. Spence says he lives here full time.”
“Do not change the subject! When was the third?”
“The day after your wedding.”
I think I would react differently if Tema wasn’t at the table. If she weren’t here, I would jump to my feet and demand to know about every single moment the two of them shared, moments that I had no clue happened. I tell Abigail every detail, whether or not she wants to hear it. How could I not know any of this?
But because Tema is there and moments might constitute something other than a G rating, I keep my lips pressed shut so my mouth doesn’t flop open like a fish.
“How did I not know this? Three times?”
“What’s three times?” Tema calls.
“I can’t wait until you learn your three times tables,” I manage. Motherhood has definitely made me more quick-witted.
“Why didn’t you ever get together for real?” I hiss.
Abigail lowers her voice as well. “Because Spencer has been in love with Princess Lyra almost as long as you’ve been in love with Bo,” she says ruefully. “Everyone knows. It’s obvious.”
“Ah. That.” She does have a point. Bo never liked to talk about the connection between his best friend and his sister, but it was there for all to see. “I’m sorry, Abs.”
“Oh, so am I. I thought maybe the third time was the charm, but then—” She cuts off abruptly.
“I have no idea about the succession laws of Laandia, butyoushould.” There’s another of those looks.
“I’ll find out soon enough,” I say weakly.
Abigail drops her voice. “What do you think will happen?”
I glance at Tema at the table. She observes more than I can ever imagine, but at least second grade subtraction seems to be distracting her from our conversation. “I have no idea,” I whisper.
“What do you want to happen?”
Abigail knows me better than anyone. I should be asking her what I want to happen because she’ll have an opinion and a pretty good idea of where my head is at.
The problem is that my head and my heart may not want the same thing.
“I don’t know that either.” I rest my head on the back of the couch. “Did I totally mess things up by coming back?”
“I think you should define mess.”
That’s a good idea. Did I mess up my perfectly happy life in Victoria by coming here? I don’t miss Timothy as much as I should, so what does that say about our relationship? And what have I done to Bo? I kept achildfrom him. Not only that, but I’m forcing him to deal with the guilt that he’s held on to about his mother’s death.
I’m forcing him to deal with me and what I want for the future. It’s not fair if I haven’t even figured it out yet.
“Last night was fun,” Abigail says when it’s obvious I’m too deep in my thoughts to respond. “It was good to see Spencer, to hang out with him and Bo again.”
This is as good a distraction as second grade subtraction. “Why did you and he never hook up back in high school?” I wonder, tucking a cushion into my lap.
“Who said we didn’t?”
My jaw drops. “Abigail! Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“There wasn’t much to tell.” She holds up three fingers. “The first time was during one of your breakups, and we met to try and figure out how to get you two back together. Second, was graduation—”
“When we crashed at Spencer’s dad’s place?”
“When he had a place. Spence says he lives here full time.”
“Do not change the subject! When was the third?”
“The day after your wedding.”
I think I would react differently if Tema wasn’t at the table. If she weren’t here, I would jump to my feet and demand to know about every single moment the two of them shared, moments that I had no clue happened. I tell Abigail every detail, whether or not she wants to hear it. How could I not know any of this?
But because Tema is there and moments might constitute something other than a G rating, I keep my lips pressed shut so my mouth doesn’t flop open like a fish.
“How did I not know this? Three times?”
“What’s three times?” Tema calls.
“I can’t wait until you learn your three times tables,” I manage. Motherhood has definitely made me more quick-witted.
“Why didn’t you ever get together for real?” I hiss.
Abigail lowers her voice as well. “Because Spencer has been in love with Princess Lyra almost as long as you’ve been in love with Bo,” she says ruefully. “Everyone knows. It’s obvious.”
“Ah. That.” She does have a point. Bo never liked to talk about the connection between his best friend and his sister, but it was there for all to see. “I’m sorry, Abs.”
“Oh, so am I. I thought maybe the third time was the charm, but then—” She cuts off abruptly.
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