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He hasn’t brought up the longevity of our relationship again, but I’m sure he’s thinking about it, too. The ball is in my court, and I’m not going to leave him hanging forever.

I can’t.

He’s flying home soon, and I need to decide if I’m going with him or staying in this beautiful, sunny state and having a fresh start.

I turn to glance at Gavin, watching his forearms flex as he drives us to wine country. Everything this man does is sexy, and when he catches me staring, he winks.

Since it’s December, the vines are dormant and the hustle and bustle of the touristy months are non-existent. The vintage wine train has turned into the Santa train, and it’s a totally different vibe than it would be in the summer.

But I’m still looking forward to some gourmet food, cozying up with Gavin in front of a fire pit, and sharing some Cabernet.

The hillside vineyards we’re passing are stunning, and I imagine living here year-round, immersing myself in the fantasy for ten full beats. I would have a chance to be just another one of the locals, not someone with a painful past and history that always precedes me.

But then I glance at Gavin again.

Are a sunny climate, beautiful views, and a clean slate worth giving him up?

Will I have regrets either way?

No option in life is perfect. You just have to make a decision with the information that’s available and ultimately do what’s in your heart.

Mostly, it’s about what’s in your heart.

Gavin pulls into Auberge Resorts, which is inspired by the south of France. We got a hefty discount since it’s the off-season, and we’re staying in a beautiful suite complete with a private hot tub.

After he parks, Gavin comes around to the passenger side to open the door for me, and I wonder how many men in the world are still like him.

None that I’ve ever met.

He’ll make someone really happy and lucky someday.

But is that someone me?

He pulls me out of the car and into his strong arms, and I nuzzle into his neck, loving the scent of his skin that is his own unique blend.

“Thank you for inviting me,” he says against my lips. “I didn’t realize how much I needed a vacation until we got here. Brady has grown up into an awesome dude.”

My heart swells to bursting because Gavin is right – my brother is an exceptional human being who deserved to be saved.

It’s so easy to judge others and be the armchair quarterback when you don’t have any players in the game.

But I’m certain that if the parents in our small town were asked point-blank what they would have done to save one of their children’s lives, the answer would be a resounding, “whatever it took.”

And that’s what my dad did.

Whatever it took.

I wish like hell he was still alive to enjoy his time out of prison and have experiences with Brady that only an adult father and son can share together.

Brady will never get marriage advice from Dad or learn his patented ways to fix household items. He’ll never get to share a beer with him or spend the day on the lake fishing and talking about life.

But he lived. He lost his dad but received the gift of his life.

And that will just have to be enough.

“I’m so glad you’re here with me,” I say.

We check-in and dump our stuff in the suite before heading to the community fire pits where only a few other couples are cuddled up under blankets.