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This girl is top tier and I am never going to get enough.

Or let her go.

And now there’s no doubt in my mind.

I was put on this earth to be with her. It’s primal and I can’t resist the urge to stake my claim for good.

She’s mine.

“I want to make you come,” I plead. She starts to protest, but I cut her off. “I’ll only touch your clit and nipples. Please?”

“Are you begging to touch me?”

“Fuck yes.”

“How about you give me a massage instead? And just cuddle me?”

I’m sure the fertility clinic was both physically and emotionally exhausting, so I quickly agree. I hate the thought of leaving her aching, but want to give her everything she needs from me. If that’s just rubbing and holding her, then so be it.

“Babe?” I ask.

“Yeah?”

I look into her eyes, my hand on the back of her neck to make sure she can’t look away.

“This needs to be said, and I’m not waiting until it’s too late. Not this time. I want you to stay in Montana with me. I don’t want to play games or leave any doubts between us. All cards on the table – stay.”

Her eyes fill with tears, but I don’t know if she’s happy or sad.

“Can I think about it?” she whispers.

Chapter 29

Ashley

We’vespentfourfulldays in California with my brother, sightseeing and catching up. On day five, after having breakfast as a group, Gavin and I make our way to Napa Valley while Brady spends the day at the beach with his friends.

My heart is so full from all the quality time, and every time I look at Brady, tears fill my eyes because I’ve missed him like crazy. Gavin empathizes with me because he doesn’t get to spend nearly enough time with Bobby either.

As much as I’m trying to remain present in the moment, it’s so hard not to think about what Gavin asked me to do.

Stay.

It sounds so simple.

But I’d be living a life where I was never truly accepted as part of the community, and my presence would bring scorn to Gavin and his family.

I’m not better equipped to make a decision for his life than he is though. It’s not like he’s unaware of all the variables and risks. And if he’s saying that I’m who he wants, then I have to believe him.

But can I live under constant scrutiny and fear that someone will try to hurt me, kill me, or vandalize Gavin’s property?

Sacrifices are made by both parties in a relationship, but you also need to protect your own peace and take accountability for your happiness. And while Gavin makes me happier than anyone in the world, it’s not that simple.

My environment matters, too.

And I don’t like Montana.

Or, at least, I don’t like how I feel when I’m there.