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“The world feels quiet right now. It’s easier to be relaxed,” I say instead.

“It does,” Cassidy agrees, even though my comment is odd. I need to be careful of how I say things, but I’m just so happy to have a little freedom. “Let’s stretch together. Even if you take it easy, you may feel sore later. Not being able to move kind of defeats the purpose after a run.”

A small laugh escapes my lips, and everyone’s gazes snap toward me. It’s a little like living in a weird fishbowl where everyone is paying too close attention.

“I look forward to you doing more of that,” Cassidy murmurs. “Ignore them. Alphas are a little intense overall. You’re going to be sweating after this and your scent will be in the air. Everyone here has really good control so you’ll be safe. I wouldn’t suggest going for a run with just anyone though.”

“Oh,” I say, blinking owlishly as I follow her lead and begin stretching.

It’s like I’ve completely forgotten how to survive in the world. Things like keeping my phone charged and with me, or paying attention to my scent would have been things I’d remember, but I feel so out of place now.

I had an entire year of my life stolen from me. It’s hard to remind myself to be gentle with myself as I figure out how to interact with the world again. Being an omega leaves me withcomplicated feelings even without including how fucked up my life is.

Should I hate thisthingthat makes me so valuable to my mother and alphas? Am I just going to be a pawn forever?

“Nina,” Cassidy says softly, making me inhale sharply as I glance at her. A tear is clinging for dear life at the corner of my eye, and I hope she won’t notice. I strayed too closely to the darkness of my mind, accidentally hurting my own damn feelings. “Ready to start?”

Clearing my throat, I lean down to pick up my water bottle, discreetly wiping away the tear. “All set,” I breathe, feeling my lungs clench as if to punish me.

My voice teacher taught me that whenever I’m feeling a lot of emotions, it’s easier to hide it if I’m speaking at a lower pitch. Just another way to lie, I suppose.

Cassidy sticks by my side as we start by walking in a group. People are chatting around me, catching up on what they’ve been doing since they last saw each other. Everyone around me is a male except for the female alpha walking next to me, shooting me glances here and there. I can hear the talk about high stakes law cases, charity events, or things that happened when they went to a bar. It’s all so painfully normal, it almost hurts to be listening to it happen around me.

I once was just like this, going to school and working my ass off, but that’s never going to happen again. My future clearly lies in a different direction. Even with a pack, I doubt I’ll be able to do the normal things others do. My wings will still remain clipped.

Abbott comes up on my other side, smiling in greeting. Since I don’t want to discuss if Cassidy did notice that I was upset because I can’t talk about it, I smile back at him.

Deflecting with style, I suppose.

“We’re going to stretch our legs and walk up to the trail not far from here,” Abbott says. “There’s a gorgeous lake, lots of trees, and we’ll have a chance to catch the sunrise. We all go atour own pace, run or walk as much as we want. It’s why we’re a good group for you to hang out with.”

“Thanks,” I say warmly. “I was a little worried I’d hold you all back. I can run about a mile before I have to slow back down.”

“That’s fine,” he says. “Don’t be surprised if a couple of us drop back to walk with you. We have this thing where we won’t leave people behind. Especially you.”

“Me?” I ask, confused. “Why especially me?”

“We’re running with precious cargo,” Cassidy says, leaning slightly against me.

I have a feeling alphas may be very touchy feely, or maybe it’s just her? I don’t mind it, I just have to get used to being touched at all.

By anyone. Even my mother is careful about how often she touches me, and even that is to test to see if I’m going to flinch if she does.

“Exactly,” Abbott says with a nod. “You’re an unbonded, gorgeous omega. We plan to keep you safe.”

I don’t get many compliments, so I merely nod in response. My cheeks feel warm, and I know it’s not from the weather.

As we walk through the quiet streets to the trail Abbott told me about, I let the sounds of birds chirping as they wake up wash over me. I know people are important, but I could be happy being a spinster I think. No pack, just the freedom to go wherever I want, surrounded by flowers and my favorite things.

It would give me time to explore what those things are, at least. My life is stifled, sad, and boring.

“There it is again,” Cassidy hisses at me.

“What?” I ask, wide eyed. “Where is what again?”

“You,” she says, grabbing my hand and pulling me aside just enough to give us some privacy. I’ve heard there are alphas with great hearing, so it probably won’t do much. “Did you know your scent changes when you’re sad?”

“I’m not sad,” I reply. “I just get stuck in my head sometimes and it’s not particularly pleasant.”